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Thread: Do you ever find that being an AB is selfish ?

  1. #1

    Default Do you ever find that being an AB is selfish ?

    This has come up for me a many times in the past and more recently when I was talking to a Ab/dl friend the other day, and they where saying how all they wanted to do was be supported and where willing to move almost anywhere ( even internationally)if someone would just care for them despite the risks.

    This has not quite been a trend but something that's very common in the community that a lot of ab's or tb's are very much all take and no give. I had a relationship in the past where my partner helped me with some ad activities and even then I felt selfish almost and when out of my way to try and balance it.
    While i feel that being an ab is mostly harmless it seems to not be emotionally damaging but put a lot of strain on relationships or that just to many abs are unwilling to give back.

    lol im not even sure what this post is about entirely but its something that has been bouncing around my head a while and i just wanted to get out.

  2. #2


    I would definitely feel bad if I was in a relationship, and I was the only one receiving gratification. After all: Relationships (romantic ones in particular) are all about give and take.

  3. #3


    I see your point. I think, though, that being an AB is a very personal experience, making it somewhat 'selfish' by its very nature. However, just as you did, I think we also are quite tolerant and understanding as a community and go out of our way to help others find themselves. Besides, I don't think ADISC would be as successful as it is if we were will selfish. We all must discover ourselves.

  4. #4


    Well, yeah, unless your partner derives pleasure from being a caregiver, you could say that it's selfish. I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing though. As human beings, we're all selfish and we all should be selfish to an extent. We like to feel good, and if we get that from being diapered and cared for by another person, then so be it--that is selfish, but it's not terrible. In healthy relationships though, you have to give back to the other person. Part of being in a relationship is satisfying another person's wants and needs, not just your own, because they're important and special to you.

  5. #5


    Quote Originally Posted by onecho View Post
    Besides, I don't think ADISC would be as successful as it is if we were will selfish. We all must discover ourselves.
    ADISC by far is the most least selfish Community of Ab/dls i have found on the net :P. I'm pretty new so far but all other sites really seem to focus on the physical side of it all or as a said 6000 people wanting to rp with a mommy or daddy and or expecting being to just baby them and such. *flails*

  6. #6


    I think the important thing is that you have recognized that this is somewhat selfish. By doing so, you're keeping the idea fresh in your mind and, as previous users have replied, you will go out of your way to satisfy your partners selfish needs as well. No one's a saint, and, existentially speaking, everyone has to be selfish from time to time in order to actually enjoy/live life. Helping other people is great, living for them is not.

  7. #7


    I feel guilty about wearing and brining my kink into my relationship, happens all the time. Something that's as extreme or different from what's socially acceptable can be a hard pill to swallow for a lot of people.

    If somebody isn't reciprocal in terms of sexual satisfaction of their partner, I would hate to see how the other aspects of the relationship are working out.

    I'm sure however they're are successful relationships based on one person having a kink and the other half always fulfilling, but I think that's a rare exception.

  8. #8


    I don't... I for one know that my BF and I both enjoy being babied and we both enjoy taking care of each other :P

  9. #9


    I say no, because everyone is selfish. Nobody in the world only gives and takes nothing in return. When your happy as a AB/TB you're happy around other people, and that spreads happiness.

  10. #10


    Quote Originally Posted by Null View Post
    Nobody in the world only gives and takes nothing in return.
    That doesn't make anyone selfish. Selfishness is widely regarded as being excessively concerned with one's own needs. By your definition, wanting to breathe clean air is selfish. That's ridiculous.

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