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Thread: Taking on a caretaker role?

  1. #1

    Question Taking on a caretaker role?

    This has been playing on my mind over the last few months. Like many AB's on here, the whole infantilism aspect of my life started when I was young (five or six, can't remember exactly). The thought of taking on the caretaker role has never really appealed to me in all that time. Recently though this seems to be changing.

    My question is, have any other AB's experienced this sudden interest as they've got older? I'm certainly not dominant by nature (wouldn't want to include this even if I was) and I still like my little time from time to time. It's just I now feel like the idea of being able to look after another AB, allowing them to relax and be happy while they're having their little time, would be a really lovely thing to do.

    I'd be really interested to know what other people think or if they've been through something similar themselves.

    Thanks for reading

  2. #2


    Before I discovered AB/DL properly, I just wanted to wear and act young. Once I found out more about the community, I developed more of a caring side - i.e, finding a baby girl as well as a mummy. I'm pretty much a daddy in real life though, taking control of things a lot!

  3. #3


    I think it depends more upon your personality than your desires.

    If you are naturally a very caring, quite mature person I beleive you will be shaped by this and eventually progress into a care-taker because it's your natural role in life.

    If, like me, you tend to be a bit more immature and dominated by your emotions then you will always be a bABy.

    Basically what i'm saying is that personally cannot be seperated from desires/fantasies/role play. If you like to take the lead as an adult then you won't be as comfortable being a dependant baby than you would be as a responsible care-taker.

    ...Get what I mean? (I feel i've written this badly. Too much revision is melting my brain :S )

  4. #4


    I very much like to be the 'little one' in a relationship, and indeed in most of my friendships too - I like being cared for and having people mother me and as such the idea of taking a caretaker role does not appeal to me at all. That said, when I was in my last relationship (which was not an AB relationship; he didn't explicitly know about this side of me) I did find myself occasionally daydreaming about babying him and taking on the maternal role sometimes, and developed somewhat of an interest in the caretaker role I suppose. It is definitely not something I daydream about doing with a fictional person, as I might daydream about having a 'daddy,' and in fact if anything the idea of being a mummy or having an AB partner is a bit unappealing - I want to be the submissive one who needs looking after and him to be the dominant and strong one; the price who rescues and looks after the princess - but in real life I think there is a possibility that, when in a relationship, it will be something I might want to explore if I am ever in a relationship with a guy who is accepting of my AB side and willing to be involved in it somewhat.

  5. #5


    Quote Originally Posted by Littleabgirl View Post
    I think it depends more upon your personality than your desires.

    If you are naturally a very caring, quite mature person I beleive you will be shaped by this and eventually progress into a care-taker because it's your natural role in life.
    I find that the opposite is true of me/for me.
    I am a very responsible person and have always been mature beyond my years.
    I get sick and tired of focussing on all the things that need to be done, and of cleaning up after other people or being their "shoulder to cry on".
    Precisely BECAUSE of that, I enjoy being little even more.

    In short, I have quite a dominant personality within my social group and relationship. Being an AB means I can break away from that and get some time and attention for ME.

    Sorry to blow the debate wide open!

    Dan x

  6. #6


    I totally agree with Dan on this one and where he's coming from. I'm very much a mothering, responsible, mature person for the most part. I love to take care of people and be there for them, stuff like that. My friends have always called me the "mother of the group" and that I would be an awesome mom when I have chillun.' However as far as ABDL stuff goes, I totally relate to the little role. I don't really get much out of a caretaking role. I just can't get into it, not like the little role. I'm just sort of a submissive, agreeable person. I react to people instead of being the catalyst.

  7. #7


    Thanks for all your posts so far, they're really interesting to read.

    Apologies, I think my last post might have been a little ambiguous or may have given the wrong impression. The role of the little one certainly isn't in anyway loosing it's appeal. Like most, it's completely ingrained in who I am and as much as it bothers me as I'm getting older, I don't ever see that changing. It's just that, for the first time ever, taking on the caretaker role actually has some interest.

    Completely understand what Dan and Harlequin say. I've always been mature for my age and by nature I'm usually the cautious, responsible one but the infantilism I suppose has always been an escape from all that. I'm certainly not a natural leader and I'm kind of on the submissive side, so it does seem a little strange that this really has even come up.

    Perhaps it might just be a phase, or it of course as LittleAbGirl said, the mature bit of my personality is having a little more influence than it used to. The idea of taking care of another AB occasionally certainly seems like a rewarding and nice thing to do Perhaps if that is the case, taking on the caretaker role periodically could be worth a shot. That is of course if the opportunity ever arises, which as usual seems rather unlikely!

  8. #8


    I can't help but wonder if it is something linked with growing older, then...

    You just mentioned there that you've been thinking about it regarding your AB side... Perhaps we cannot escape the natural maturity age brings, and this explains your mind wandering onto the caretaker side of things...


    Dan x

  9. #9


    I suppose as the idea of having a family when I'm older has appealed to me more, so has the idea of being a caretaker. Also tossing around the idea of having an AB/DL partner as well to make a potential relationship more fulfilling as such made me think about the whole switch aspect.

  10. #10


    I have thought about this quite a bit, but I always end up wanting to be the little one. This seriously concerns me since my wife is really wanting to have kids, but I just don't have the desire to nurture others. I mean, I love my friends and my wife, but in terms of relationships and the roles that come with it, to play the dominate, parental role isn't something I can see myself finding fulfillment in. I know I'm sounding selfish, but it's just the truth. I'm worried about going into parenthood, regretting the move and then taking my frustrations out on the poor kid.

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