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Thread: Should I?

  1. #1

    Default Should I?

    Hi I'm new on the forum,

    I came here form meeting people and stuff, but I thought now I am here, I could also ask some questions, no? So I have been planning to do a coming-out about my Diaperfur habits and stuff. Because I can't take it that I am lying to my mom. (The rest of the family I don't care about as much, I do love them so don't see that as something negative) So I wanted to ask you some advice.

    Should I do it, and if so when, where and how do I break it to her?

    I am so messed up by hiding it and think that I am a complete A-hole for not telling her all along.

    Many thanks even if you don't help me.

  2. #2


    Well, I said it before and Iīll say it again: Donīt tell anyone
    Itīs better to keep it a secret. Not telling your mother something she might not even want to know doesnīt make you an A-hole (great word by the way :-D) at all.

  3. #3


    Quote Originally Posted by ShadowSparkyFox View Post
    Because I can't take it that I am lying to my mom. ... I am so messed up by hiding it and think that I am a complete A-hole for not telling her all along.
    What makes you feel that you are lying to your mom about it? I don't think avoiding talking about your diaper interests qualifies as lying. If she has found diapers and you didn't tell her about *B/DL, then that would technically be lying. Of course, it is entirely another matter whether lying in that case is a good or bad. (I personally am somewhat on the fence in that case.)

    Should I do it?
    Your reasoning for telling her is at least a good reason instead of the typical bad reasons like telling so you can wear openly or so your parents buy you diapers. I honestly wrestled with whether or not I should tell my parents for that same reason. I eventually concluded, though, that it was unlikely they would accept me. In the long run, for me personally, it would been detrimental to tell them.

    That is my personal situation, though, so it would be wise for you to consider how accepting your mom is. If she is generally accepting of people no matter their interests, then she might eventually accept you. However, there is still a very high chance that her first reaction will be negative. Acceptance may only be gained some time after you first tell her.

    There is also an article on this topic: Telling Parents. Hopefully, that will helpful to you as well.

    if so when, where and how do I break it to her?
    Presuming you decide to tell her, you have essentially two options: writing her a letter/email or telling her in person.

    The advantage of a letter is you can review and correct what you tell her before she sees it. You can also post it here before sending it to your mom, so that we can offer suggestions to improve it. However, the disadvantage is you cannot respond to her reaction or questions.

    The advantage of telling in person is you can allay any concerns that she mentions and avoid discussing areas that she appears to disapprove of. Talking in person does put you at a disadvantage, since you do not have the option of reviewing what you tell her. What is said cannot be unsaid.

    As far as what you say or write, I would recommend including the following:

    1. Explain briefly why you like diapers. It is best to avoid mentioning any sexual side. You probably don't want to know your parents' sex life, so I doubt they want to know yours.

    2. Mention why you chose to tell her. Be clear that you don't expect her to buy you anything or participate in any way; you just wanted to let her know because you feel that you are lying to her by not telling.

    3. Point her to a reputable site or article for more information. I would suggest either Understanding Infantilism, When Kids Like Diapers, or "For Family and Friends" article section on ADISC.

  4. #4


    The general guideline in a case like yours should be "don't tell unless confronted about it". But first of all, since you're not lying about something - you're simply keeping private a side of you that is, in fact, private - my advice would be to stop feeling bad about it!

    Everyone has things that keeps hidden from other people's eyes, and it's not a bad thing. To turn your situation upside-down, think of how'd you react if your mum was to tell you about "unusual" things she likes to do in her spare time. If MY mom was to do that, it'd sure be a very awkward situation! Do I think my mom is bad because she keeps her private things to herself? Certainly not.

    Then, you sure know your mom better than any of us do, so in the end the decision is up to you. Sharing this side of you can either have the effect of making your bond stronger and deeper, or causing you a lot of unwanted troubles in case she doesn't accept it. So it all depends on the kind of relationship existing between you two, and on the kind of person your mom is.

    In the "articles" section you can find some good material that can help you evaluate the situation and choosing for the best.

    In any case, let us know how it goes!

  5. #5


    I wouldn't do it. I came out and told my parents after alot of soul searching and they flipped out. I was grounded from everything, they asked all kinds of weird questions like "Did someone molest you?", and worse they sent me to a therapist. All in all it ruined my entire summer and now whenever I look at them there is always that thought in my mind of they are judging me. I can't see a commerical on tv about diapers without them giving me a sideways glance. They also seach my room several times a month when I'm not here. Take my advice and keep it to yourself you arn't hurting them by not telling.

  6. #6


    Thanks guys for all of the advice, I will be reading those links and stuff and I'll keep you updated.
    I think I'm going to tell her about this.
    She kept me in diapers 'till I was 12 'cause of bedwetting. After that I found some spares
    around my closet when I was about 14 or so I think she noticed them go missing,
    She never said anything though.

    So yeah, guess I just have to find the right moment, like when we are home alone or something.
    I don't want my dad to know 'cause I know his reaction allready

    ---------- Post added at 18:27 ---------- Previous post was at 18:11 ----------

    I forgot my mom no speak english so I'll probably have to sit next to her and translate

  7. #7


    Quote Originally Posted by ShadowSparkyFox View Post
    [/COLOR]I forgot my mom no speak english so I'll probably have to sit next to her and translate
    Since you are from Belgium, I'll work under the assumption that your mom speaks either Dutch or French. In such case, there is a French version of Understanding Infantilism (fittingly enough, it's called "comprendre l"infantilisme") that is available here, and the front page of understanding infantilism does have a link to a Dutch website (I didn't post it here since, not speaking Dutch, I can't vouch for it's content).

  8. #8

  9. #9


    There is a difference between withholding information and lying, that's how I see it.

    I'm out to my parents (not by choice) and I can safely say that there is absolutely NOTHING for you to gain from it.

    Sent from my iPod touch using Tapatalk

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