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Thread: Told my best friend...(on my own free will!)

  1. #1

    Default Told my best friend...(on my own free will!)

    Hey all! Just thought I would share a positive experience I just had with regards to my ABDL side. I finally told my very best friend about it last week! **WARNING: Text heavy! **

    Let me start from the beginning: I told my best friend last month sometime that I had a fetish (but not specifically ABDLness). The reasoning behind me telling her, was because I was sick of lying to her. We make trips to a certain city to visit our friends every month or two. The last two trips I had met up with someone who I had met on Diaper Space. Of course I couldn't tell anyone how I had met this person and had to make up something. I felt like my web of lies was getting too complicated and that I needed to tell her the truth. Well the partial truth anyways. I also feel I can trust her and that she would accept me with or without being ABDL. We've known each other for about ten years and have been good friends in the time period. I figured if I had to tell anyone, it would be her. I just kind of explained that I had this fetish for a long time and that it was inborn, not learned. I recently just looked it up online and found a whole community of people into the same things as me.

    As I was explaining it, one of the comments that stuck with me was, "Wow, it's like you're coming out of the closet..." And that really stuck with me. I was like, "Yeah...I guess it is." Like I would go to the grave with this secret. I have betrayed my morals by lying and being deceptive in order to protect this secret, as do many LBGTers do as well. I find it shameful and wish I did not feel this way. There are so many parallels it's crazy.

    Ok, so fast forward to this last week. We were hanging out in a playground across the street from her house and playing on the equipment. I just felt this overwhelming urge to tell her the whole truth. I was like, "Please don't look at my any differently after this. I'm still the same person; this is just one small aspect of my life." So then I told her...Basically that I was into age-play and being treated like I'm a little girl and all the "trappings" that go with it. She was curious and asked me lots of questions and I answered honestly and the best I could. It really could not have gone any better. She wasn't weirded or grossed out or anything (or she didn't let on anyways); just wanted to understand more. She's interested enough that she wants to meet two other ABDLS I'm friends with and have met in real life.

    I don't feel like our relationship has worsened by my disclosure, on the contrary probably strengthened. We had such an awesome, heartfelt conversation after wards and really bonded. I love my best friend. It feels so good to tell someone who isn't ABDL.

    Thanks for reading! It would be fun to read about other people's experiences with telling their friends (good or bad).

  2. #2


    Nice to know that your friend accepted it. It make it easier on you to have someone to talk to it about. You did a risky thing and it paid off. BTW if that's you in your avid your damn cute in a diaper.

  3. #3


    That's wonderful to hear such a result! I tell ya I wouldn't be brave enough to tell anyone about things like this. (specially after my ex's misunderstanding) You're so lucky to have a understanding friend ^.^ Btw that avi of yours does look cute X3

  4. #4


    Nice to hear about a happy ending, good for you.

  5. #5


    Thats great she still sees you as who you are! Well done for telling the truth.

  6. #6


    Hey, that's really good news! I'm so happy she took it well, pretty much the best scenario you could have ended up with!

    I hope it all goes well now and the friendship really is stronger as a result. I guess, unlike a sexual fetish, coming out as ABDL really does have parallels to being LBGT - it's something we didn't choose, and live in shame for a lot of our life with it!

  7. #7


    I'm glad things went well. I've told one other person, and that was my college room mate. We were a couple in college. It was shortly after I came on adisc and I was telling him about being on a blog site. This was over e-mail. He asked me what kind of site, so I told him. I think he was surprised, but he wished me well. He felt that I could be a help to the younger members on this site. He himself does conflict resolution for high schools, especially for gay students. I might add that he's a retired high school principal, has been the national speaker for the NEA, and is a Fellow to the Kennedy Center.

  8. #8


    I'm glad to hear it went well! In my experience, if the person if a good friend before, they'll be a good friend afterward. I've come out of the diaper closet to most of my friends, and it's always gone well. I think the funniest one, though, is one friend that knows and didn't bat an eye when I told her. But then, she rode with me somewhere, and she totally flaked out at my driving! I drive like a typically aggressive Detroit driver, and that apparently freaked her out enough that she won't ride in my car anymore and still mentions it from time to time.

    Like I said, I find it funny that she was cool with me being an ABDL, but my driving was way too much for her.

  9. #9


    Thanks everyone for your comments! I'm not sure what I would have actually done if it had not gone well. I guess i just figured it was a good bet she wouldn't freak out and that I would cross whatever bridge I had to when I got there.

    Yeah, that's me in my new avatar. I had some fun taking some photos last night. I kind of love Hello Kitty! >^. .^<

  10. #10


    People don't expect us to drive aggressively or do anything aggressively, now do they. Now we do tend to be a subby lot: not all of us but it is one of those things that characterizes us very generally speaking. So many of us have the urge to be coddled, taken care of, even wanting to feel helpless is a big part of us, to shuck off the weight of adult roles, rather than embrace them. Now you know and I know that some of us compartmentalize and can want to be subby only sometimes and not other times. Or that we can be dominant in some ways and not in others. But when a person learns we are ab (and probably lumps dl's, sissies & lg's, etc. with ab) it'll color their whole perception of us. Heh, this is another danger or revealing our secret: being stereotyped, and no longer being seen as a whole person but as a caricature. I mean it is hard to reconcile the torturer who loves his kids; all sorts of people think of gays as effeminate nellies and can't picture them as normal guys. (Likewise they have a hard time with effeminate straight guys.)

    But to respond to OP, I am truly glad that it worked out for you, I really am, just the way that I am when very poor people win the lottery. Was the risk worth it? Hardly ever, but definitely once in a very long while. It takes a combination of knowing the other person extremely well, so as to trust their handling of this new information, especially per their discretion. Not only must they be of the right character but you must be a good judge of their charater. And they of you: so as not to think of this as some kind of defect and think less of you including worry over your sanity.

    Yes, it can be done, and it can work out for the best. It can. But I still say to all our young, naive, abdl's who are not quite sure of who they are and not completely at ease with that, who have a life to live and aren't ready to bear a scarlet letter through it, that secrecy is their best bet.

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