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Thread: Happy Birt....*scribbles* Happy Taken From My Birthmom Day

  1. #1

    Default Happy Birt....*scribbles* Happy Taken From My Birthmom Day

    Well folks today is my birthday... im 21 going on 16mos still.

    It will now have been 4 years since I tried to get NY State to give me my birth records and was given a run around and two wonderful tons of bull shit.


    I really dont see a point in celebrating this day...All I do is miss my mom, is it so much to ask to want to know who I am and where I come from?

    *curls up in a ball of fur and cries*

  2. #2
    Peachy

    Default

    *offers a hug regardless of what day it is and what has happened on that day in the past years*

    Just do me (or yourself) a favor: Don't punish your foster parents for whatever went wrong with your mom or your birth records. If they have done a good job providing you with the love, care, home and money you needed, you should be thankful to them and still celebrate with them. They put a lot of effort, love and money into you, so don't make them feel bad for mistakes they didn't do.



    Peachy

  3. #3

    Default

    Fankies for the huggles

    I did celebrate with them. And they did an ok job aside from the fact it was made clear my older sister was the favorite and got w/e she wanted. But I dont punish them. Well I hold resentment my mom cause of some stuff she has done to me. That is hard to forgive.. BUT i still celebrate with them to a point. Even if im not happy with this day.

  4. #4

    Default

    Your 22 years old you can see your mom now I think. Actually legally could around 3 years ago this very day. that said bitching about the past has never really helped me out. I suggest taking that emotion and building something that can change the past.... time machine perhaps.

    Either that or do the next best thing and simply move on.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by Fire2box View Post
    Your 22 years old you can see your mom now I think. Actually legally could around 3 years ago this very day. that said bitching about the past has never really helped me out. I suggest taking that emotion and building something that can change the past.... time machine perhaps.

    Either that or do the next best thing and simply move on.
    Legaly Yes when I turned 18 i was supposed to be allowed access to my adoption records. Well thats not true as I found out. I applied to the Dept Of Vital Records to get my forms and was told that I could not get access to them because NY is a sealed record state and thus i was denied access to indentifying Information and 98% of my non-id was also withheld from me.

    Also short of hireing a lawyer which i dont have the money for. I have been doing everything in my power to try to get access to my records. contacting my adoption agency for help, writing my local senator, NY Govenor, hell I wrote the dam White House... I have been doing everything in my power that I could do to get my records.

    As for your final comment. STFU. Im guessing your not adopted, cause if your not then you have NO IDEA how much it hurts adoptees to not know where they came from. You feel different then everyone else, you wonder why you dont look like your parents like other people do, you feel alone surrounded by a million people, you feel unwanted, forgotten. You have a hole in your heart that just keeps growing and sadness and pain are all you feel.

    Then your lied to your whole life saying: Oh dont worry when you become of age at 18 you can get your information and find out the answers to your questions. Then you turn 18 and find out that you cant get access to any of your records. You need to apply for one of the most passive Reunion Registrys in the country that has like a 5% reunion rate, and that the man who is in charge of the whole thing believes that adoptees should never get access to their original birth certificates because it would be a threat to national security!

    So unless you know how it feels to be in the position of an adoptee searching for who they are and being denied at every turn. Dont tell us to just move on.

  6. #6

    Default

    there's likely a reason your mother put you up for adoption. The only reasons to is that she was unable or in some cases unwilling to be a mother. Either that or the state somehow deemed her unfit to care for children and that's usually only due to safety concerns.

    "you feel alone surrounded by a million people, you feel unwanted, forgotten." You do realize you got adopted and sure they might of treated their full blood kids better but it's not like you were closely at all unwanted or forgotten.

  7. #7

    Default

    I know why I was adopted. I have a letter from my birth mom. And she closes it with how much she loved me and how it pained her to give me up. And that when I come of age that she hopes I come find her. And ive been denied at every turn... I want to find her and for all I know shes thinks i dont wanna find her or I hate her or something.

    Ive heard the you may have been given up for adoption but We chose "you" over every other child speech before. It dosent offer much comfort.

  8. #8

    Default

    Have you ever seen the movie Angels In The Outfield.. if not I highly suggest it. Highly relatable for someone in your situation.


    Also what I originally meant is that your letting this thing eat you alive. That's not necessarily a good thing, be happy with what you got and have and be thankfully for anything that comes down the road.

  9. #9

    Default

    Yes I have seen that movie. It was funny.

    And normally Im fine. But when it gets around today. I slowly fall apart for a week or so. I just miss her so much..even tho Ive never seen her that I can remember.....

  10. #10

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Kokuei View Post
    Legaly Yes when I turned 18 i was supposed to be allowed access to my adoption records. Well thats not true as I found out. I applied to the Dept Of Vital Records to get my forms and was told that I could not get access to them because NY is a sealed record state and thus i was denied access to indentifying Information and 98% of my non-id was also withheld from me.

    Also short of hireing a lawyer which i dont have the money for. I have been doing everything in my power to try to get access to my records. contacting my adoption agency for help, writing my local senator, NY Govenor, hell I wrote the dam White House... I have been doing everything in my power that I could do to get my records.

    As for your final comment. STFU. Im guessing your not adopted, cause if your not then you have NO IDEA how much it hurts adoptees to not know where they came from. You feel different then everyone else, you wonder why you dont look like your parents like other people do, you feel alone surrounded by a million people, you feel unwanted, forgotten. You have a hole in your heart that just keeps growing and sadness and pain are all you feel.

    Then your lied to your whole life saying: Oh dont worry when you become of age at 18 you can get your information and find out the answers to your questions. Then you turn 18 and find out that you cant get access to any of your records. You need to apply for one of the most passive Reunion Registrys in the country that has like a 5% reunion rate, and that the man who is in charge of the whole thing believes that adoptees should never get access to their original birth certificates because it would be a threat to national security!

    So unless you know how it feels to be in the position of an adoptee searching for who they are and being denied at every turn. Dont tell us to just move on.
    My mother was adopted and she turned out fine. An amazing mother really. Though she was brought up in a house where her brothers got mad if she pointed out she was adopted. To them she is their sister, not their step sister. I guess its different for everyone but the only thing you can do is make the best of the situation.

    I wish you the best of luck and hope you manage to find out your origins. Until then just hang in there

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