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Thread: Ever Had Bad Lending Experiences? (A Rant)

  1. #1

    Angry Ever Had Bad Lending Experiences? (A Rant)

    We've had too many ourselves and adopted a strict "NO LENDING" policy. My wife once loaned a beautiful dress to a so-called friend years ago. It was all wrapped up and on a hanger when her friend received it. Guess how it was returned? All balled up in the bottom of a brown paper bag! Needless to say, my wife was very hurt over how she got it back.

    Then there were our baby furnishings. I had to work my tail off to earn the money to buy all that stuff new - changing table, playpen, crib, stroller, etc. No one in either of our families had money to help us out. We kept the furnishings like new figuring selling them later to get some of our money back. Well, my wife's brother and sister-in-law had a baby and asked if they could borrow some of the items. They didn't have much money to spend either, so we said they could, with the stipulation that when their child outgrew them we'd get them back. Well, they never told us they were finished using them. I just happened to spot them tossed in a storage building where all my wife's family lives. I dug them out and the more I examined the condition they were in the madder I got. Everything was to the point of falling apart! It was literally reduced to junk!! You wouldn't even get $5 for the whole lot!!! A baby didn't do this - this was adult abuse! All the nice things we had bought were no longer worth anything. Really shows how much they appreciated our generosity in lending them. The only things we have left in decent shape are the three items we DIDN'T lend out - a baby crib, a high chair we kept at home, and the stroller. The infant crib (smaller than a baby crib), two playpens, a changing table, and a second high chair we used to keep at the in-laws house are worthless now. We even bought them a nice replacement stroller when theirs was damaged in a car accident. It was also reduced to junk last time I saw it. I still have the two playpens, though I don't know why I've kept them this long. Guess it's the sentimentality in me since our babies played in them. I thought about trying one of them out myself since I can't really hurt it any more than what damage has been done.

    More recently, the same relatives who trashed the baby items wanted to borrow our main family car when we went for a visit, because theirs needed repairs. I wouldn't let them! I said I'd take them where they needed to go since I really had nothing else to do, but NO WAY were we lending another thing to them, or anyone else for that matter. Maybe that's the real reason for keeping the playpens - as a constant reminder of what happens when you lend things out!

    Hope none of you have had such bad experiences lending nice things out only to get them back in much worse condition.


  2. #2


    Have had that too, my baby sister owes me a lot of $$$ cause of her douche-bag boyfriend who is only interested in money and avoiding child-support. She owes me over a couple hundred bucks, and refuses to pay me back.

    Also, I've had some people borrow video games and DVDs, and give them back to me scratched up and unplayable.

    I only loan things out now if I trust a person.


  3. #3


    After lending some of my stuff to my older brother throughout the years, I've developed a strict, non-negotiable lending policy. That is, if you ask for something, the answer will be NO.

    My parents never really bought me much as we were growing up, and this was emphasised more so when I got into my mid-to-late teenage years. Everything I own I've purchased myself, with the exclusion of my bed and chest of drawers. At times, I've lent items out to people only to have them returned as broken or not returned at all. It infuriates me to think that something I've worked hard for is so needlessly destroyed by someone who was given the item off my own goodwill.

    The reason why I adhere strictly to not lending anything out to anyone is because a few of those items I've lent out were very expensive and/or meant a lot to me. It really does hurt when you see something you cherish just dissipate at the hands of some imbecile and it cuts deeper when they return it to you with full knowledge that they have damaged it.

    So as I've said, I never lend anything out to anyone. Probably the closest I come to lending items out is letting someone I trust use it while I'm around. If I leave, or if they leave, I ask for it back.

  4. #4


    I've had pretty good luck with the stuff I loan out, but it's a combination of choosing the recipients carefully and knowing my own limits as to what I'm comfortable loaning. Every time I hand something off, I have to remind myself that it's possible I'll never see this item again or it will return significantly the worse for wear either due to neglect or just bad circumstances. For me, the pleasure of sharing something with a friend outweighs the risks.

  5. #5


    im not much of a lender
    i own all my familys xbox games
    and my dvd collection makes up 90%+ of our familys over all collection
    but, ill lend things out to friends and the teachers at school use my stuff a fair amount.
    but againt, im pretty careful with stuff.

  6. #6


    I guess what upsets me the most is that when I was growing up you were taught to take BETTER care of something borrowed than if it were your own. I still live by that upbringing. The last thing I borrowed was a garden tiller from a co-worker who lived nearby. After I finished using it I hosed it off and cleaned it up real good, so it looked nicer than it did when he dropped it off. I just can't understand how anyone can show so little appreciation, and so much nerve, in returning something damaged and not think anything of it.

    As you've all responded so far, you do have to feel confident you can trust the recipient. Glad to hear not all lending experiences have been bad.


  7. #7


    Sorry to hear about your lending troubles, Pram!! I have lent stuff to family & one of two things has happened; one, I never got it back or two, it came back damaged!! I have never been one to get mad at family, no matter what!! So I would just go out & replace it!! I am like you, when I borrow something from someone, I return it in the same or better condition than when I got it!!

  8. #8


    Stuff like that always seems to happen...I personally haven't really had experiences like that, other than lending people pencils and just never getting them back...

  9. #9


    Whenever I lend things out, I somewhat expect them to come back eons later. Currently I'm lending out three books, one of which has been gone for year, another for five months, and another for 2. However people still take good care of them, and I get them back looking as good as I lent them.

    I'm the same way with burrowing things, it may take awhile to bring it back, but I treat it with the utmost respect and care.

  10. #10


    I don't mind lending things to my bff. I have friends that I'll only see once a week or so, sometimes longer, and I don't like lending to them because they'll "forget" to bring it back for months.

    Our family as a whole won't lend out anything though. All my neighbours, and I mean all of them, never seem to have anything. Last year we had 3 familys using our lawn mower, until finally one of them let their 9yr old daughter use it (wtf) and completely broke it. They had to take it to a shop and replace a few things. What was funny though - they got very angry when they found out they couldn't use it after that. Did they think because they replaced a few parts it'd be part theirs?

    All the neighbours always used to borrow little things too. Such as a cup of milk, a few eggs, my one neighbour borrowed a roast from us. And we don't expect our cup of milk back, what we do expect, is that cup of milk when we are out. However - everyone came to us to borrow things, but when we went to someone because we didn't want to go to the store, no one had it.

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