So... I'm gay, and my partner was weirded out when I first told him about my interest in AB stuff. I'm lucky in that I'm very much an AB, not really very DL at all, it's all about the emotional intimacy for me, and that helped him get it - once I explained it's not really sexual or a fetish, he came round to the idea and he even tried a bit of baby stuff with me. He now thinks I'm "f***ing adorable" (his exact words) and I have to tell him when I'm in grown-up mode otherwise he talks down to me on the phone!
The thing is... baking and colouring with a cute-but-oversized kid is one thing, and changing nappies is another. I've already told him I don't expect him to do that, and I don't completely know how I'd feel if he suggested we try - the little side of me finds it appealing, but I'm not sure that's a way I want my partner to see me if we're still trying to have a grown-up life. But I do know that one of my big AB dreams is to some day experience having a messy nappy changed by a loving caretaker that I have a special bond with, and I don't know whether I could find that bond with anyone who wasn't a partner to start with. I have a pretty bad history and it takes me a lot to trust people with emotional intimacy.
My partner has said exactly one thing about the whole idea of nappy changes which is that he's not doing it full stop - and I respect that completely, though I also know he has a bit of a tendency to say a knee-jerk no to things he changes his mind about later.
My question is, have any of you been in a similar situation? Do partners sometimes come round to changing or messing in this kind of relationship? Or do they mostly draw the line at messing like a lot of people seem to? Or, on the other hand, do I sound more as if I'm in the kind of situation where I should think about it as a kink he doesn't share, and focus on getting better with trust and looking for a caretaker who isn't my partner? (I think non-monogamy could be OK for us in a clear context like that). I know part of it is I need to talk to him more and try things out, but I have so little experience with all this I don't really know what the options are...