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Thread: Telling the wife...

  1. #1

    Lightbulb Telling the wife...

    I know there are many threads on the subject of significant others but I am looking for some ways to get through this so bare with me...

    I told my wife (girlfriend at the time) on a few occasions that I like to wear diapers (I am now an AB/DL). The reaction was not horrible but more neutral, granted I did tell her when we we're being intimate...

    I am now in a big AB phase and just bought a boatload of diapers, two onesies, sippy cup & pacifiers last week while she was on holiday in Germany with friends (I had to stay home and work...). I really want to show her my AB side and I think she will be ok with it but, I don't know how to approach it.

    We do act "babyish" to each other a lot especially when winding down at night to go to sleep quite often. Any recommendations on how to bring the subject on?

    I wore some undies to bed the other night (which I never do...) and she asked why? I told her I don't know and that I wish I had footie pajamas but they would be to hot for our climate. I am trying to first wear my onesie to bed then bring on an ABU diaper.

    I appreciate all the help I can get...

  2. #2


    I would probably try to approach the subject outside of intimate moments in a casual sit-down type of setting. Feel confident rather than ashamed about yourself because she will likely key off of your own reaction and if you are treating it as a negative thing, so will she. Even though she knows about it and is neutral, you are going to want to slowly ease her into the situation. I wouldn't go from telling her in the afternoon to being fully decked out in onesies and cushies later that evening. I think that having a very open dialog about it is your best bet. Leave room for her to feel uncomfortable about it. Some people just are and would prefer that you keep it to yourself and you need to know that's a possible outcome.

    I don't know you or your wife or your exact situation but if it was me, I would start with something like this:

    "I just wanted to share with you more about this side of myself because it is a significant part of who I am and I don't want to keep secrets from you. I know you are aware of it but I thought it would be a good idea to break the ice and allow you to ask me more about it if you are curious. I'm not asking you to participate but I feel it could benefit both of us if you knew more about it."

    When I told my wife, it was an evening when other people had our kids for the night. We were at a wedding and both of us had been drinking a bit so that made it a bit easier. I told her when we were dancing. She was already aware that I had some sort of fetish but didn't know the details. After the wedding, we had a long talk about it in our hotel room and it was really great. Other people have had varying degrees of luck.

  3. #3



    Last weekend I told her I got a onesie an asked if I could where it to bed. She said she was ok with it, so for the next week all went well.

    We where on a small boat trip with 20 friends over the weekend.While we where off in the water floating alone I brought up my onesie and she said, " it wasn't very sexy". I agreed and told her it wasn't for all the time.

    When we got home last night I asked her when we where getting ready for bed I asked her if I could where a diaper under my onesie. I then asked her if she could help me. She was on with all of it, when I say ok I mean she said, "I guess so". She understood that it wasn't for all the time and that there was sexy time and baby time.

    She helped me tape up my diaper and there was a bit of nervousness with both of us. Tonight she was feeling under the weather an as she was lying in bed I asked her if I "had to be sexy tonight"? She said, no so I told her that she does a good job at diapering me but I did not push the issue as she was sick.


    This is the second night, how many nights can I get away with wearing? We usually are not intimate during the weeks due to our schedules. I an ok with thy an we at intimate it is always amazing!

    Also looking for advice on brining in bottles and pacifiers into the mix. I an bot looking for total regression (cribs, baby food, etc..) just onesies, diaper changes, and maybe a bottle.

    Thoughts anyone?

    One more thing to add which a good friend brought up was what does she get out of it? It is a valid question as I can see this getting boring or old for her. I don't see her EVER wearing hence the question...
    Last edited by Trevor; 24-Apr-2011 at 19:28. Reason: merging posts.

  4. #4


    I have never been in an AB relationship, and so I do not feel I can give you any helpful advice on how to move your AB side forward within the relationship. Although in terms of how many times you can 'get away with wearing,' my advice would be to ask her that question - you do not wish to push it too far, and end up wearing to the point that she begins to be annoyed by it and thus does not feel happy for you to indulge in this around her. Seeing as you have only recently brought this into the relationship, avoid bringing in too much too quickly - I would give her time to get used to you, her husband, being in a diaper and onesie etc around her before trying to bring more things (diaper changes, bottles, pacifiers) into it. Then, if you want to bring more aspects into the relationship, talk it through with her yet. Tell her this is what you desire, and ask if she would be okay with that before incorporating them into the relationship.

    Iin terms of what she gets from this - if she has no interest in mommy/baby role-play then the answer is likely nothing, aside from the fact that letting the man she loves do this makes him happy, which in turn makes her happy. The problem with that is, as you said, it is likely to get boring or old for her quickly and, whilst at the moment she is happy to indulge you, without anything in return it may be that there becomes a point where she does not keep doing this, or where the negatives (eg: the fact a man in a diaper is not very sexy) outweigh the positive of you being in happy. It may be that there is no way to make it so that she gets anything out of this - if she has no interest in wearing diapers, being a caretaker or seeing you regress, outside of your happiness, it is hard to find a way in which to make it interesting to her.

    In that case, the way to ensure that she is getting something out of letting you to this, is to ensure that you balance it by doing something just for her. View the times she lets you bring baby things into the relationship as 'your time' - time that the two of you are putting aside just for you to do what you want together. Make sure that you balance this with some time for her - doing something that she enjoys that you would not choose to do if it didn't make her happy. Not knowing your wife I have no idea what that could be, but I'm sure she can think of something she would love to do with you, but that she knows you're not to keen on yourself.

    If you tell her that you realise that she gets nothing out of letting you do this, and tell her that you want to be able to do something just for her in return I am sure that she will appreciate it, and if she knows that the times when the two of you do something just for you (baby time) are balanced by times you both do something just for her then hopefully she will be far less likely to come to resent the time that you spend exploring this side of you.

    Good luck with developing things in the relationship to a point you are both happy and comfortable with - it sounds like you are lucky to have such an accepting wife, and I think it is right to be considering the situation and reflecting on it instead of getting carried away. I hope things continue to move in a positive direction for you

  5. #5


    Thank You Jess for taking some time to write that out. I an always interested and open to others opinions (especially a girls).

    We chatted for a few minutes when getting up this morning about my frequency of wearing. I told her that I do not want her get annoyed with wearing "too much". She told me she still doesn't fully understand AB/DL.

    Does anyone know of a good website that explains

    I told her we can talk tonight and she can ask me any questions she wants. I did apologize that I didn't show this side of me earlier and that I don't want it to push our relationship apart. We live a great life together and if AB/DL had to go away, I wouldn't put up too much of a fuss. In my opinion though she would not let that happen as she wants me to be happy.


  6. #6


    I think you are wise for being cautious, and taking your wifes feelings into play before proceeding. Although it is difficult for anyone to give you the proper advice you are seeking, without knowing either one of you, I can suggest this: The only way to get what you want, is to give others what they want first. As long as you keep that at the forefront of everything you approach, you are going to have a fantastic relationship! Best wishes to both of you.

  7. #7


    A bit of advice from some one who has been there, make your wife a priority over your diapers!
    Get to know her moods, how she acts, tone of her voice, ect. You will need to learn how to tell when it is a good time to bring out the diaper and when to leave the diaper in the bag.
    Diapers should always take a back seat to your spouce.

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