WARNING: This post includes the topic(s) of depression and self-harm.
I am diagnosed with depression and anxiety, and I started going to therapy for it.
I had brought up to my therapist that wearing diapers makes me feel safe and secure. I live away from home, so having that safe feeling is important to me.
I, also, told my therapist that wearing diapers helps aid the depression. It doesn't solve the problem, and there's no doubt about that, but it helps.
There's a psychological reason behind this: When I was wearing diapers back in '09, I needed them for a physical reason. During that same time period, I went through a depressive episode. The diapers became a safety object from that point on: They made me feel better, mentally-speaking. It's similar to how a child clutches their special blanket when scared or upset.
I have tried to explain this to my current therapist. She opposes it very strongly, but I can't understand why: I'm not hurting myself, nor am I doing anything illegal. I don't even use the diapers for their purpose; I just wear them on really tough days.
The depression, which I'm still battling currently, got to the point where I wanted to hurt myself. My therapist and I got into an argument over the fact that I wore a diaper, instead of inflicting self-harm. I told her, "Well, what would you rather have me do: Wear a diaper for the day, or cut myself?" She told me that she wanted me to do neither. She's, also, told me that, "Not everyone who has depression wears diapers."
The fact that my therapist refuses to accept the fact that I wear diapers as a coping method is really starting to get on my nerves. I've told another therapist, who I stopped seeing awhile back, and she was completely fine with it! I don't understand why this case is so different...
I haven't even told her about my Adult Baby side, and how I use that as a coping method as well. Not only do I wear diapers and regress to cope with my depression and stressful life, but I do it for fun and comfort, too.
Is there any possible way for my therapist to understand my diaper-wearing? Better yet, could she, maybe, get a grasp on infantilism as a whole?
I really just needed to vent; I'm very tired of her having a such a negative view on something like diaper-wearing.