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Thread: My Therapist And Diapers

  1. #1

    Default My Therapist And Diapers

    WARNING: This post includes the topic(s) of depression and self-harm.

    I am diagnosed with depression and anxiety, and I started going to therapy for it.

    I had brought up to my therapist that wearing diapers makes me feel safe and secure. I live away from home, so having that safe feeling is important to me.

    I, also, told my therapist that wearing diapers helps aid the depression. It doesn't solve the problem, and there's no doubt about that, but it helps.
    There's a psychological reason behind this: When I was wearing diapers back in '09, I needed them for a physical reason. During that same time period, I went through a depressive episode. The diapers became a safety object from that point on: They made me feel better, mentally-speaking. It's similar to how a child clutches their special blanket when scared or upset.

    I have tried to explain this to my current therapist. She opposes it very strongly, but I can't understand why: I'm not hurting myself, nor am I doing anything illegal. I don't even use the diapers for their purpose; I just wear them on really tough days.
    The depression, which I'm still battling currently, got to the point where I wanted to hurt myself. My therapist and I got into an argument over the fact that I wore a diaper, instead of inflicting self-harm. I told her, "Well, what would you rather have me do: Wear a diaper for the day, or cut myself?" She told me that she wanted me to do neither. She's, also, told me that, "Not everyone who has depression wears diapers."

    The fact that my therapist refuses to accept the fact that I wear diapers as a coping method is really starting to get on my nerves. I've told another therapist, who I stopped seeing awhile back, and she was completely fine with it! I don't understand why this case is so different...
    I haven't even told her about my Adult Baby side, and how I use that as a coping method as well. Not only do I wear diapers and regress to cope with my depression and stressful life, but I do it for fun and comfort, too.

    Is there any possible way for my therapist to understand my diaper-wearing? Better yet, could she, maybe, get a grasp on infantilism as a whole?
    I really just needed to vent; I'm very tired of her having a such a negative view on something like diaper-wearing.

  2. #2


    Canyou show her some understanding infintalism information? Perhaps bittergrays info page? Just because she is a psycholagist doesn't mean she understands everybodys psyhalogical needs.

  3. #3


    I'm guessing either she doesn't want you to have crutches to cope with your depression, or she just plain doesn't like it and can't understand it so she tells you it's wrong.
    I would try asking her how she feels about you wearing diapers when you are in a positive happy state of mind. If she says she still doesn't want you to, then that means she doesn't want you to like something just because she doesn't like it.
    If she says that's ok, then she may have a point about using it as a crutch being a bad thing and I would hear her out.

    Anyway, it's your money your spending, and if you aren't getting what you need, you can always go to someone else.

    ---------- Post added at 16:52 ---------- Previous post was at 16:46 ----------

    I think if I was in this situation I might say, "Well fine, I'll spend my $50 an hour on diapers instead, at least they make me feel better."
    But that's probably because I'm obstinate.

  4. #4


    honestly, shes not getting the full picture of this i think, if you were using the diapers as a safety object shes probably trying to get you away from it. but if you do explain everything and shes still opposed to it, you may need to find a new therapist because she wouldn't be doing her job right by trying to stop you from doing something that potentially brings you happiness

  5. #5


    I would say that if you are not able to connect with a particular therapist, the best I can say is to try to find a different one. People switch therapists all the time and there is nothing wrong with it. At a hospital where I was this year, it was even encouraged that after a session or a few if you find a therapist is not a good fit for you, you just ask to switch. Staff didn't even take it personally, that's just how it is. At a treatment center where I stayed before that, I was assigned to a therapist who, we'll just say she was never on the same page as I was, and unfortunately patients weren't allowed to switch. It was only 5 weeks so I figured I'd get what I could out of it then I could go to my outpatient therapist who I like very much and continue to see weekly.

    Anyway...therapy is a process and takes a lot of time so, good luck to you :3

  6. #6


    sorry about your negative reaction scritcher... Unfortunately for you though counsellors/therapists are people too because of this their personal views about habits and right and wrong can seriously get in the way of truly helping individuals with their issues. You could try to let your current therapist know that that particular coping mechanism is not up for discussion, and that you are not going to stop doing it. If your therapist wants your money, and trust me, they do want your money, that subject will become taboo. Good luck with your current therapist, and remember you can always take your money and issues to a person who is a little more understanding.

  7. #7


    My recommendation is to just simply ask her why she feels that way. Discuss your experience with your previous experience and try to discover why they feel so differently on the same topic.

    Then again, being someone who has been to a bad unrelatable therapist in the past I can understand that asking that question is probably easier said than done.

  8. #8


    Get a new Theropist. Go back to the old one if you.

    If not then do what others are saying, try to get her to explain

  9. #9


    I see both your point as well as her's.

    You want to wear since it makes you feel better and it makes you want to cut yourself less.

    She wants you to do neither since both are only bandages to the underlying problem causing you to take up these actives in the first place.

    It reminds me of a episode of M*A*S*H where Hawkeye swears he will stop drinking alcohol cold turkey. at the end of the episode he confesses he needs a drink. But he goes on to say he'll only take it when he wants it, not when he needs it.

  10. #10


    As others have said, ask her why she feels that way. If she refuses to answer, it's time to find another therapist. Chances are good though that she either truly doesn't understand what you're telling her, or she sees them as a crutch, which any therapist would discourage. A good therapist would have told you up front why she doesn't want you wearing them though, so you may want to find another one anyway.

    I'd be highly suspicious of the motives of any therapist who would say anything remotely like this to me: "Not everyone who has depression wears diapers."

    That screams she's either got a her own agenda or she truly doesn't understand your needs, in which case finding someone else would be a good idea. You really should try talking to her though before making that decision.

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