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Thread: Told the Girlfriend; Past tense, a cautionary tale

  1. #1

    Default Told the Girlfriend; Past tense, a cautionary tale

    In many ways it was probably one of the hardest conversations I ever had to have with someone.
    *Quick facts about my life at the time*
    I had been living with this girl for close to 5 years in a ?loving? control driven relationship, that was her fetish of course.
    In the past twenty or so years, I have been caught, repeatedly I might add, by siblings, friends, others, who have left their individual opinions and scars on the matter, I should really thank them for that.
    So to the story The night I chose to talk to her about my issues was sort of an involuntary choice, you see she wanted to do something, and I was having none of it, well because I was actually diapered, what can I say, I gotta have balls gettin into bed next to someone who doesn't know the truth, even if I waited better than an hour to go to bed. Woops I woke her up or something. Anyway she wants to play, and I am uncooperative, and so her feelings are hurt, and so, I proceed after some yelling and sobbing and all that, to tell her knowing full well the fragile nature of her system of values, about being a dl and what that is. Once again, crushing disappointment was something I got to feel.
    Now for what ever reason I have found out in the past years, some people will connect Diaper fetishes to pedophilia, you know the games pedophiles play or some crap like that. This situation was no better, of course, and though I did eventually explain my way out of that steel trap, things seriously got much worse. Every little problem we had or were going to have now mysteriously became connected to diapers. Hense it was all my fault, of course it was.

    So here is the learning part of all this, Even though someone loves you they may not accept your fetish, they are probably even going to try to change you, mentally, when they can not finally change you to something they can accept the only thing they can accept is good bye.
    Be sure of who you tell, its such a short drive between we can work through this and I guess I was wrong.

  2. #2


    Omg i cant even fathom how much that wouldve hurt i just told one of my best friends and that was hard i cant imagine doing it and getting rejected . youll find somone though who will except you . you will

  3. #3


    Im sorry man, that really stinks she wasn't accepting :/

  4. #4


    I'm sorry to hear that. =(

    My ex was accepting and would participate. Told me she liked it. We broke up a few months later, and she started telling everyone what a "freak" I was and told everyone back home about me being ABDL. Then she told me she was never ok with it and I was disturbed and what not. Honestly, I think I would have rather her to have been honest from the start, would have saved a lot of later heartache.

  5. #5


    storyteller - whilst you have my sincere condolences on how that went I might add something:

    Doing what you did - sneaking into bed with a diaper on, middle of the night - without her knowing of course would provoke a bad reaction with most people.
    I assume one part is - as you say - because of the assumed nature of your diaper wearing, as wrong as the perception by your gf might have been... but the other part in relationships is TRUST... and by doing what you did you pound a massive sledge-hammer against that often rather fragile concept of trust most relationships are based on.
    it's like finding out the hard way that your partner has been keeping a secret from you - now if there's one, there are bound to be others... "What else did he not tell me?" , "What will come next?", "Did he not trust me?", "why did he not tell me...".
    With "weird fetishes" it often adds weight to the situation if the fetish is looked upon as "gross" or over the limits by the partner, as despite all explaining you can do it will be hard to really understand - and trust would be one of the primary reasons for "taking it good" - but trust was "disrupted" by the way she found out about it. so that will take lots of talking, time and maybe more to get back on track - if at all.

    The only advice I can give - and I've been in a long term relationship with her knowing and accepting my DL Side - would be that next time, DON't DO IT THIS WAY... don't be "found out / caught"... ... I'm not saying to let the cat out of the bag on the first date - that I (and most others) would consider offensive or bad taste... but when you have bonded enough to have some real trust in each other, at a quiet time sit down and start to talk about sexual preferences, feelings, fetishes and let her know. calmly explaining.
    There's no guarantee that it will get over smooth that way - but chances are a hell lot better.
    Actually most of the times - even if the partner isn't "into" that fetish or finds it awkward, a lot of trust is gained by confiding in the partner about a very personal issue... often you'll discover some other sides of your GF in return

  6. #6


    A similar thing happened to me. When I finally came clean with it, she linked every fight, every disagreement, every shortcoming, etc. to the diapers. Finally, she left saying she couldn't be with someone like that. I feel your pain, buddy. It really sucks, but you'll eventually get over it.

  7. #7


    That sucks dudes... Diapers are such an easy scapegoat for some S.O's it would seem. P3ngy: Your ex in particular sounds pretty low-class. It's a low blow to divulge private things to everyone after a breakup.

  8. #8


    Sounds like you threw everything at her all too quickly. I told my fiancee 3 months into the relationship. I first told her on my birthday as a little 'birthday suprise' and then a few days later I wore one and told her I was wearing.

    Then a month later I told her I 'use' them properly and don't just wear them for fun.

    You have to be gradual I'd say when you introduce these things. I now wear openly around them and it's seen as something quite normal in our relationship as our 'little secret'

    Good luck to all others in this situation.

  9. #9


    LOL as I posted its a cautionary tale sort of a dont do what johnny dont does. Was very stupid of me to do the things I did. I would do things differently if given the chance, however with this particular person I think the outcome would have been the same. Thanks for reading everyone

  10. #10


    This is one reason why I've never told any of my past girlfriends. It just seems to be way too easy for diapers to turn into a scapegoat for problems in the relationship. I am looking for a stable long term relationship, and girls tell me that's what they want too, but then they just "get bored" and end things. So it seems like diapers would just make that problem a whole lot worse. I would have to be VERY sure that me and my partner would be permanently together before I'd even speak a word about AB/DL. Otherwise I'd rather just get my fill of diapers on my own time and keep it separate from love.

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