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Thread: Wow, coming out of the diaper closet does get easier and easier!

  1. #1

    Default Wow, coming out of the diaper closet does get easier and easier!

    So anyone who's hung around for a bit and has read my posts knows that I'm pretty comfortable and open about being an ABDL. Most of my friends know, my boyfriend is a 24/7-wearing DL himself, and I have no qualms about wearing in public and whatnot.

    And now another friend knows.

    So I was hanging out with a group of friends last night (we get together pretty much every Monday night). I grabbed my laptop from my bag and inadvertently left it open. Later, my laptop was about to die, so I went for the power cord, and in my haste, I just tossed my bag aside as I plugged in the lappy. Amongst the things that fell out of my bag when I tossed it aside were the two Abena X-Pluses that were in there. Although many of my friends know, I normally don't try to show off my diapers or anything like that. Turns out that one of my friends in that group actually didn't know, as I learned when he asked me if those were diapers in my bag.

    My answer? Just a flat, "Yes.". I didn't get nervous, didn't hesitate, didn't freak out. I'm actually a bit surprised by myself, and honestly, a bit proud of myself too. The last couple of times I've been caught, I was a bit nervous when I admitted what the deal was.

    This time, though, it was so easy. And here's the trick-just like when one comes out of the closet as gay, people really do take their cues from you. If you treat it like some big shameful secret, others will too. That's how it was the first few times I came out of the diaper closet. If you're calm and relaxed and act like it's completely normal, then others won't make a big deal of it. Even the last couple times when I was a bit nervous but honest, I wasn't met with disapproval or concern or anything. Instead, they asked a few questions, the sort asked from genuine curiosity.

    So why did I post this? I feel it's worth sharing with those who are concerned about being found out or about telling someone. Hopefully someone can take some solace from it!


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  2. #2

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    It is all very well to be completely without shame over carrying a talisman that makes you feel good, or maybe incomplete without it. It is also very well to surround yourself with people who are broad-minded, people you feel free to reveal yourself to, as an ab, a Communist, a Raiders' fan or a cross-dresser - without worry that they'll react with disapproval. As to these talismans, they may make you feel constantly babyish, horny, engaged to be married , worshipful of God or, for a subbie, the property of your master; they include religious tokens, jewelery, security blankets. And you are indeed luckier than most to be secure about people knowing about your ab side, knowing exactly what sort of garb you have hidden from sight, and how it makes you feel.

    As abdl's we are lucky we can be discrete with keeping this side of us, and how we express it hidden; there is no need to force people to notice it by displaying it flagrantly to them, at least with those who already 'know.' Not the usual way of looking at things, I know; mostly we are a bit paranoid about discovery and people mocking, or feeling sorry for us or any having any sort of reaction other than "meh, whatever."

    It's much easier to own up to who you are when you are surrounded by people you trust to be broad-minded; if you don't expect disapproval there's not much reason to be embarrassed.

    On this site you can expect people to be overall positive to you; I feel totally free to express myself; the worst reaction I recall is being corrected on my facts or having people dislike suggestions for the site; hardly reasons to feel attacked, insulted, ignored, or any such; being in a safe environment frees us, just as you feel freer around your tolerant and approving friends.

    I will point out though that one can feel too free; and outside a hand-picked inner circle, or outside a carefully constructed and watched-over site such as this one, a false sense of confidence can betray you.

    While we can take it for granted that not every gay person is kinky, it is easy to suppose they are at least open to other gay people with novel forms of self-expression, and it can come as a shock not to be greeted with tolerant attitudes; many people see turnons and sexual practices as strictly private and divorced from "who you are" - Wee have a shared culture here and being within a culture - identifying with it and the others who ascribe to it - is a part of anyone's identity. Part of the Adisc culture is that we may presume we an atmosphere of tolerance and understanding, and if in addition one's social circle reflects that, it's bound to be easier coming out of whatever particular closet one was in. We are treated within such a culture as we, reflexively, contribute to it.

    But I dare say our culture does not necessarily represent the whole world of abdl, that many probably keep it strictly to themselves, and don't want to join with others who happen to also be turned on by diapers they stay out of the culture, even though they have everything in common with us, except the desire to join in. We should not be surprised when others we assume like-minded reject our outlook; when they would rather we keep our kinks and quirks, and especially our undying devotion to the Raiders, strictly to ourselves.



    I guess my point is that it is a relief to feel you are free to presume that the people around you won't judge you harshly and act negatively toward you. It is still a good idea not to automatically rely on this presumption, and especially not assume people are broad-minded juts because they happen to be gay (or Communist, or furry, etc.)

  3. #3

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    Good insight Raccoon. My fear of being "out" would be how it impacts at the work sight. Since I'm both a teacher and a church musician, I think I might have problems. For me, no one in the real world needs to know.


    Sent from my Jitterbug using Eldertalk.

  4. #4

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    You both make some good points, and I suppose some clarification is in order, as well.

    I know this is different for everyone, but for me, my friends are the... Most real? Closest? Most important? I'll go with closest... People in my life. I love my family and am close with my parents, and I get along well with them and the rest of my family, I live a long way from them, and although we get along, we don't necessarily have a lot in common (they're mostly conservative and hunters and into the country lifestyle, and I'm not at all into hunting, I'm a liberal, and I find the burbs of Deteout to sometimes be too sleepy for my tastes). My coworkers are great people, and they really are my work family, but that pretty much ends at the company parking lot.

    My family does not know that I'm an ABDL, and I have no reason to or intention of telling them. I came to terms with being an ABDL years after I left home, and although I'm close with my parents, I live on my own and I have no need or desire to tell them, let alone the rest of my family. I don't interact with them enough to make it necessarily. I've worn around them, but that's as far as it really needs to go.

    Even in the case of my friends, none of them, especially the first few instances, weren't episodes where I showed up and was all like, "Hey guys guess what? I like diapers, wanna see?". (and I know no one here implied or stated such a thing, just adding that for the benefit of others) The first people that knew I was an ABDL were fellow ABDLs I had befriended. My first coming out of the diaper closet was partly being caught and partly not worrying if I got caught. It was my roommate, who was and still is one of my best friends in the world. By that point, he had been my roommate for a couple of years, and he was the first person I came out as gay to, so we already had a really good repoire.

    The next was actually with one entire group at once, and they kinda badgered it out of me after I went to Vermont for my first diaper party. They had known me long enough and knew enough about my life to know that I wouldn't have ordinary business in Vermont (like family or something), so they kinda pestered and poked until I told them. With a couple of them studying psychology and the rest being intellectually curious yet socially awkward characters, they were an interesting mix of "should we be weirded out?" and curious.

    After that, I told one of my other closest friends in the Universe before a trip a group of us was going on, as a couple people in the group were ABDL friends of mine and I didn't want an embarrassing situation if one of them slipped and made a comment.

    From there, most of them have been pretty open minded people that made a joke or comment or something that basically communicated that they knew more than the average bear or at least were into interesting things of themselves, effectively a few cases where, because we have been friends as long as we have, all parties sensed... Kindred spirits if you will.


    This most recent episode was the first time I had been caught in quite some time, actually, and it was blatant carelessness on my part that caused it. I actually thought he knew, since pretty much everyone in that group does. But, my MO is not normally to just throw diapers around hoping people comment. I had them in my bag from a few days ago when I went out padded, and it was just inadvertent carelessness that made them visible. Just because my friends know doesn't mean I show off my diapers and stuff. A childish onesie or a collar is one thing. The diapers are a bit more personal, and like I wouldn't show my regular underwear, I don't normally show my diapers.

    That said, I'm still happy it went smoothly and am kinda proud of myself for not faltering. I had spent a lot of years trying to suppress and change my ABDL desires and the fact that I'm gay, and that road led me to loading a shotgun with the intention of killing myself. After I unloaded the gun and started trying to rebuild my life, I vowed that I was going to live an authentic life, and that I'd deal with whatever consequences came of it.



    Sorry that I got so heavy there, but I felt it was worth explaining my background. I realize I'm in a slim minority of ABDLs, slim enough that a majority even on this site probably can't identify with me. Since I'm here for conversation and to offer support, I hope it can give people some insight and background as to who I am, so my posts make a bit more sense.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  5. #5
    dprdinky

    Default

    I enjoy chatting online with other ab/dl from other countries and have been in contact with some from the Netherlands. It seems as though their society is much more open and accepting of AB/DL than other countries, like the USA.

    In fact in The Netherlands they have 3 ABDL clubs where AB and DL people can meet on a regular basis without being afraid for other people looking at them if they are aliens.

    They have clubs at the cities of Den Haag and Haarlem that look like a pub. When you visit this place you can sit down at the bar, tables of on couches to talk to others and enjoying a drink or snack. The only difference to a "normal" pub is that all visitors (male and female) are wearing diapers. Some wear them under their normal clothes, others choose to wear beautiful AB outfits and there are also people that prefer to wear just a diaper and nothing else.

    In the Netherlands there is also a club in Amsterdam that is more of a "playclub". It has all features of the two clubs is described before but it also has multiple rooms for AB, DL and diapered BDSM plays. Lots of people go there together with their partner not only to chat to others but also to play with each other. This is the place where they change each others diapers and AB's play with their mommy or daddy or play childish games with each other.

    The closet we have of places like that are munches that are held in different parts of the USA and Canada, but these are public restaurants and have no way of being open about it, like they are in the Netherlands. And then there are the dungeons for bdsm that occasionally allow for specific groups to rent or use the space for such things as "age play or abdl play.

    But it's not the same, you know what I mean?

    Ever since I have worn diapers even though I do not care much what others think, I have always hoped there would be ways to bring the adult diaper phenomenon into mainstream society. Or for that matter bringing a better understanding of those who wear them. I truly think it can be done. I would love to be able to normalize in society to a greater extent the wearing of adult diapers. Signs of it are already present in societies such as Japan wear adult diapers are way more normal for such practical reasons as long train rides. Back in 2008 they even had an adult diaper fashion show (which you could probably find the video of it somewhere online.). So, why not in other places?

    Though most people will not say anything if they ‘catch’ you wearing a diaper as if they have any conscious or understanding they would most likely assume its for personal health reasons. But, I truly believe that the adult diaper wearing notion can be brought into the limelight for more practical reasons and deserve more understandings.

    Would love to hear what you think?

  6. #6

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by dprdinky View Post
    I enjoy chatting online with other ab/dl from other countries and have been in contact with some from the Netherlands. It seems as though their society is much more open and accepting of AB/DL than other countries, like the USA.

    In fact in The Netherlands they have 3 ABDL clubs where AB and DL people can meet on a regular basis without being afraid for other people looking at them if they are aliens.

    They have clubs at the cities of Den Haag and Haarlem that look like a pub. When you visit this place you can sit down at the bar, tables of on couches to talk to others and enjoying a drink or snack. The only difference to a "normal" pub is that all visitors (male and female) are wearing diapers. Some wear them under their normal clothes, others choose to wear beautiful AB outfits and there are also people that prefer to wear just a diaper and nothing else.

    In the Netherlands there is also a club in Amsterdam that is more of a "playclub". It has all features of the two clubs is described before but it also has multiple rooms for AB, DL and diapered BDSM plays. Lots of people go there together with their partner not only to chat to others but also to play with each other. This is the place where they change each others diapers and AB's play with their mommy or daddy or play childish games with each other.

    The closet we have of places like that are munches that are held in different parts of the USA and Canada, but these are public restaurants and have no way of being open about it, like they are in the Netherlands. And then there are the dungeons for bdsm that occasionally allow for specific groups to rent or use the space for such things as "age play or abdl play.

    But it's not the same, you know what I mean?

    Ever since I have worn diapers even though I do not care much what others think, I have always hoped there would be ways to bring the adult diaper phenomenon into mainstream society. Or for that matter bringing a better understanding of those who wear them. I truly think it can be done. I would love to be able to normalize in society to a greater extent the wearing of adult diapers. Signs of it are already present in societies such as Japan wear adult diapers are way more normal for such practical reasons as long train rides. Back in 2008 they even had an adult diaper fashion show (which you could probably find the video of it somewhere online.). So, why not in other places?

    Though most people will not say anything if they ‘catch’ you wearing a diaper as if they have any conscious or understanding they would most likely assume its for personal health reasons. But, I truly believe that the adult diaper wearing notion can be brought into the limelight for more practical reasons and deserve more understandings.

    Would love to hear what you think?
    I think as a society overall, we need to get over a lot of these Victorian era hangups we have. We need to put the stigma of diapers behind us. It would be better for bedwetting children, elderly types who fear going out just because they have a little dribble occasionally, and all the rest of us who wear diapers for whatever chosen or necessary reason.

    Honestly, it's Victorian stigmas around bodily functions that create the stigmas around diapers. People don't get nearly so flaked out about other kinds of underwear, yet diapers are still a big white badge of shame for so many. I maintain that is because we still have these hangups about bodily functions and eliminations, which diapers are ostensibly designed to collect.

    Honestly, I think once we get past the shame factor of diapers, they'll pass into the realm of other sexy underwear, just something that some people choose to wear.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  7. #7

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    I don't know if diapers would ever be considered "sexy" outside of the AB/DL community. I personally don't think I could get turned on by a person wearing them, whereas with most forms of lingerie. that's not the case.

    I guess it's a YMMV sort of thing.

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