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Thread: Overcoming embarrassment?

  1. #1

    Default Overcoming embarrassment?

    So, at my local Dollar Tree they have these cute printed baby bottles, rattles, bibs, and even pacis and sippy cups.
    Every time I go to the Dollar Tree and want to buy some baby products, I feel a great embarrassment, then I feel very nervous and feel like people are staring at me, so I just walk away from the baby stuff and go buy something else.

    Is there a way I can overcome this embarrassment? It really urks me that I can't do something as simple as buy baby stuff since I cannot afford AB stuff online.

  2. #2


    There's plenty that's been gone over before about this with buying diapers from stores. If you can get in your head that nobody will really notice/care, you'll be fine. Unless you make a scene of it, nobody will care.

  3. #3


    Aside from realizing that nobody cares and nobody will remember it after the fact there isn't really anything else to say.

    I know exactly how you feel and I was in that position a year or two ago. I think most of us go through that phase while we are still working on accepting ourselves and while we are paranoid about what the public thinks of us. Until a few months ago I was really shy when it came to buying anything related to AB/DL but I bought diapers a few times. That built up my confidence enough to go into Babies R Us and get two new pacis and after that I didn't have any problem going back to Babies R Us to get my bottle. It takes a few times before you become comfortable doing it, but once you do its actually kinda fun to "window shop" for baby items =p

    If you are uncomfortable buying them perhaps you could start with things that are less babyish and work your way to more babyish items as your confidence grows.

  4. #4


    Unfortunately, the only way to get over the embarrassment is to buy whatever it is you want despite it. The more times you buy items you find embarrassing, the easier it will become. Having bought baby items literally hundreds of times now I no longer get embarrassed, but at first i used to get really embarrassed and be sure that people knew they were for me.

    But, in truth, people probably won't think they are for you. Most people do not know that teen/adult babies exist. When people buy baby items, such as bottles and pacifiers, most people will assume that you are buying them for a baby. If you look too young to have your own baby, then they will probably assume that you are buying them for a sibling or other relative. It will not even occur to them that you might be buying them for yourself.

    One thing that might help is to make a plan of what you are going to buy. Visit the store and decide what you want to buy, assuming that you become to embarrassed to go through with it then just make a note of what you decided on, and where it is. Go back to the store the next day, or as soon afterwards as you can, and just go straight to the baby aisle, take off the item you'd already decided on previously, and then go straight to the checkout. The less time you need to be in the store, the less time there is to get embarrassed and change your mind. Once it is in your hand and you are at the checkout, the chances of you becoming to embarrassed to complete the purchase are quite low - the hardest part (in my experience anyway) is first standing at the aisle for long enough to choose an item, and then actually taking it off the shelf. So plan to do these two tricky parts on two different visits.

    It may also help to wear a hat, or wear your hair over your eyes or have sunglasses or a hood etc - anything which makes you feel less conspicuous. Although of course be careful that in trying to make yourself look less conspicuous you don't make yourself look more conspicuous! If it's a sunny day then wearing a bobble hat will draw attention to yourself, and if it's a gloomy rainy day then sunglasses will look equally strange. But if it is possible to wear something which will cover your face in a non suspicious way then this can often help to make you feel less like people are looking at you.

    Good luck, I hope you are able to get over your embarrassment and buy the items you want, and I promise it does get easier the more you do it.

  5. #5


    Honestly, the only way to do it is just to suck it up and do it. Act like you own the joint, meaning when you go, know what you want, get it, go pay for it, and be on your way. Don't be twisting your hair or wearing some sort of goofy hat or something. Don't do the stupid crap that nervous people do that basically puts a neon sign above their head. Act like you own the joint and that it's perfectly natural for you to go buy diapers or a paci or kids toys.

    Because if you're an ABDL, it IS perfectly natural, and fuck everyone else.

  6. #6


    Quote Originally Posted by babyjess View Post
    Unfortunately, the only way to get over the embarrassment is to buy whatever it is you want despite it. The more times you buy items you find embarrassing, the easier it will become.
    That's pretty much the same for me. I'm generally an anxious kind of person, and I used to shake and sweat whenever buying AB-related items. It has gotten easier and easier every time. Now I have no problem going to Target buying regular clothes for myself AND pacifiers and bottles at the same time. For all the other shoppers or cashier know, I'm buying the clothes for myself and the baby items for a baby.

    Actually idea of doing what you're afraid of doing OVER and OVER and OVER is a skill taught in dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT). For any emotion you want to get rid of, you do an "opposite to emotion action." So when your emotion is anxiety, your first instinct to avoid the situation that makes you anxious. Instead, you approach the situation. You must do it over and over and it gets better, and then the fear goes away altogether. I got better at public speaking and giving presentations this way. It works the same for buying AB stuff.

    Sorry I didn't mean to turn this into a DBT lecture but I had to relate it because it actually works

  7. #7


    To me I would just put the thought of anything I'm buying to the back of my head and I'd wait til I get home to get an anxiety attack.

    The last few times I went, I was too tired to seem suspicious.(I was biking uphill.)

  8. #8


    Actually, it's simple: You just go in there and buy it. Disregard anyone else. Be awesome, feel awesome. The fact is, nobody will think it's for you. Keep that in mind, and buying stuff will get a whole lot easier for you.

  9. #9


    I had the same problem than you. I tried to think that nobody knows that I'm buying them for myself but it didn't help much. I got over it when I met other AB and we both went to buy baby supplies. I was little nervous but it helped that I had friend with me. Next time was much easier and now I don't even feel embrassed when buying baby things. Try to force yourself to buy for the first time and next time will be much easier. You could start by buying small things like baby bottles so you can hide it into your shopping cart and other people can't see it. Last time when I was buying baby food with few AB friends I said: "These taste nice". Then man next to me stared me few secs and I realized maybe I shouldn't have said that lol.

  10. #10


    I'm not sure what size of village/town/city you live in but if it's a big one I envy you :P My town takes maybe a half hour to forty-five minutes to walk from one end to another and that's including the housing areas. To walk from one end of downtown to the other, maybe twenty minutes. I have to scope out several stores before making a purchase to ensure no fellow classmates are working. Usually I'll skip off a period to pick em up but the problem is I'm a senior myself and know a lot of the grads from last year.

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