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Thread: Diaper "black outs"?

  1. #1

    Unhappy Diaper "black outs"?

    Ok, so this is a serious topic that i've been thinking about. Has anyone else had diaper "black outs"? Like your wearing, maybe wet etc you get so into the zone then when you finally come back for what ever reason your just like...what the hell just happened? This has happened to me a few times the most recent was on tuesday. I was wearing and all, i had wet it a few times and then....man parts >_> "Happened". Basically i was left sitting on my floor thinking what on earth was a i doing? This of course is followed by regret/guilt and it will continue for a few more days or so, it's common with me. The sad part is i get really depressed and upset for a few days the most it's ever taking me to feel better has been a week or so. I don't feel better until i get...errr "horny" again. I'm sorry if this is a mature topic, but to be completely honest i have no idea where else to put a question like this. Is this normal? Has anyone else ever experienced something this? Will it fade?

  2. #2

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    I see what you're saying I have moments like that in general life.

    I think this more belongs in the Diaper Talk forum

  3. #3

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    I added words like horny, and the talk of masturbation so i figured the only suitable place is mature.

  4. #4

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    I think mature section is fine. I see a bigger problem than that. The blackouts may be your mind compensating for something it doesn't want to deal with. The problem is, does it stop there? I would be concerned. The most important thing you can do is accept yourself and accept your desire to wear diapers. If it's the worse thing you do in life, you're doing okay. Because of your age, it is difficult to accept. It's not how any of us envision ourselves as males, but there it is.

    The next question is, how do you handle other stresses in life? If you zone out or automatically have some avoidance mechanism, I would be concerned. If that's the case, I would seek professional help. We all have stress in our lives, and it only gets worse when we become adults. We have to learn how to cope, finding strategies that enable us to find some level of success dealing with problems.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    I think mature section is fine. I see a bigger problem than that. The blackouts may be your mind compensating for something it doesn't want to deal with. The problem is, does it stop there? I would be concerned. The most important thing you can do is accept yourself and accept your desire to wear diapers. If it's the worse thing you do in life, you're doing okay. Because of your age, it is difficult to accept. It's not how any of us envision ourselves as males, but there it is.

    The next question is, how do you handle other stresses in life? If you zone out or automatically have some avoidance mechanism, I would be concerned. If that's the case, I would seek professional help. We all have stress in our lives, and it only gets worse when we become adults. We have to learn how to cope, finding strategies that enable us to find some level of success dealing with problems.
    Other stresses in my life i've completely able to deal with, but that's only been in the last 3 years or so. Before that, i visited a therapist weekly for anxiety and stress. Now the majority of stuff doesn't phase me because i've learned important skills to manege it. It's not a full black out, like it's not like i have no memory of it whats so ever, but it's sort of like i snap back into life after doing diaper related stuff. In a way it sort of feels like a black out because once i cool down and have the diaper in the trash etc my mind races and every possible question of why the hell i would do something like that comes into my mind. From there it feels like, from this state of mind, i would of never done something like that. As for is it the the worst thing i do in my life, it is. I think i would almost accept myself more if i was into drugs or something. It hurts to because i've been done this road so many times, i keep thinking i accept myself then BAM i'm back to square one. I don't know, today i woke up and i felt completely fine. The thought of diapers doesn't bother me that much. Do you think the feelings come from the masturbation itself? Like after the act, all of my "man" senses are through the roof, and the thought of what i had just done makes me feel weak.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by xxThatGuyxx View Post
    Other stresses in my life i've completely able to deal with, but that's only been in the last 3 years or so. Before that, i visited a therapist weekly for anxiety and stress. Now the majority of stuff doesn't phase me because i've learned important skills to manege it. It's not a full black out, like it's not like i have no memory of it whats so ever, but it's sort of like i snap back into life after doing diaper related stuff. In a way it sort of feels like a black out because once i cool down and have the diaper in the trash etc my mind races and every possible question of why the hell i would do something like that comes into my mind. From there it feels like, from this state of mind, i would of never done something like that. As for is it the the worst thing i do in my life, it is. I think i would almost accept myself more if i was into drugs or something. It hurts to because i've been done this road so many times, i keep thinking i accept myself then BAM i'm back to square one. I don't know, today i woke up and i felt completely fine. The thought of diapers doesn't bother me that much. Do you think the feelings come from the masturbation itself? Like after the act, all of my "man" senses are through the roof, and the thought of what i had just done makes me feel weak.
    Masturbation is definitely a controlling factor. It did the same to me when I was your age. When you get older, it mellows out, but with hormones in high gear, this can, and typically does happen. Since it doesn't happen in other areas of your life, I wouldn't worry about it, but rather accept it as part of the cycle.

    At my stage in the game, I try to control the masturbation part to once a week, at the end of the cycle. I know that afterward, I won't want to wear for a couple of days. I don't feel the guilt anymore, but when I was young I did. In my poem, "Drunken Boat Revisited", (it's buried in the stories sections) I called it my blackest deed, and I described myself as "vomiting into the floor boards" which refereed to how I felt after the act. There was another line in the beginning of the poem, "or shall I piss it all out again". I wrote that poem 40 years ago when I was in college, so I think you can see, the problem doesn't change or go away from generation to generation.

    The best I can hope for you is that you accept this, and more importantly, accept yourself. It doesn't mean that you are a flawed person. It just means that for some reason, this is a part of our makeup, something we didn't chose, and something we really can't control, certainly not the desires. I wish you the best, and remember, I'm always here to listen.

  7. #7

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    I wander if this ever goes away. I am 29 and I still have this same problem as you. I figured after telling someone, (wife), all that guilt would go away and I would quit feeling like I was the worst person in the world and was doing the worst thing ever. I dont know if the feelings will ever leave, maybe for some it does and hopefully it will for you. But I think you just have to figure out how to deal with it and get through it. For me, if Im wearing, no matter how much I want to relieve myself, I make myself wait until Im not wearing. Maybe in the shower after Im done or later on . I know this is a tough thing to do and I confess Im not 100 perc succesful but it definitly helps to get out of that dark mental state. Good luck and hang in their. Just try to figure out a way to deal with it. Because you cant run from your desires. I have been down that road.

  8. #8

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    Yeah, this happens a lot with things like that, it's called Post-coital tristesse, I um...have felt it before too, it's not a nice feeling. It's always a guilty feeling and makes you feel bad and a freak, but it's not true. I'm a bit worried if it lasts that long though...it's likely just because you feel really bad about liking diapers, but those feelings will lessen, and eventually go completely, with time and people to help

    Hope this helped a little.

  9. #9

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    It sounds like this diaper thing for you is.. Well to put it straight... Purely sexual. Meaning that you actually hate it in your mind but the sexual feelings appose that. It's what I feel like sometimes after... Ehhem, yeh... Im like "WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS GOOD?!?!!" but it never feels like a black out.

  10. #10

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    I used to get this several years ago, just after I found out that diapers were a slightly sexual and not 'just feeling good'. Immediately after masturbating I just had a sudden urge to get out of it, like it was some alien object. But as time went on this virtually no longer exists, and this was back when I was your age as well - so there you go.

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