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Thread: My "Best friend"....

  1. #1

    Default My "Best friend"....

    Hey everyone. I'm seriously worried about my friend who I consider(ed) my best friend. He's been slipping into the drug scene now for the past couple of years and right before Christmas this year, his brother died in a car crash. I'm really worried about him because I don't want to see his life ruined (or worse). The death didn't help either and he has been falling even more heavily on them....I'm really worried about him since we've been friends since first grade (now high school seniors). I want to help but I really detest drugs unless medicinal. His ex. told me today that he did ecstasy at one point and I really don't want to see my friend like that. Should I walk away? Should I try and help? and in what way?

  2. #2
    Dwhite

    Default

    Yes, you should help. Talk to him, tell how you feel, do anything you can. And if that doesnt work tell a teacher or counsler, I'm pretty sure they would be legaly obligated to get him help and or make sure he gets help.

  3. #3

    Default

    If it was me, I would sever all ties with this person immediately. What if you're at his house hanging out and the cops bust down the front door in a drug raid? Guess who is getting arrested besides your friend? I think it's called guilty by association.

    What if you're in the car with your friend and you all get pulled over by the cops?

    Plus, if he does get busted by the cops later on and the police decide to do a little investigating and your "friend" says you did drugs too, what are you going to do then? It's your word against his.

    There is nothing to gain but a lot to lose when you're friends with someone who does illegal drugs. Drug addicts are not looking after you or anyone else. They will exploit you or anyone around them just so they can get their fix.

    An addict can only get better if he/she is willing to help themselves. You can tell people until you're blue in the face that drugs are bad and they need to quit, but until they are willing to help themselves, it is futile.

    Look, you're 17 years old. You're almost a legal adult. Don't start off your life with a criminal record right from the get go. It's your friend's life. Let them ruin their life if they choose to do so.

    I sound harsh, but do you know how hard it is applying for jobs when an employer runs a background check on you only to find out that you're a convicted felon? Nobody will hire you.

    At the most, tell your friend that you are concerned and he/she should get help while at the same time letting them know that you can't hang around them anymore if they continue to use drugs.

  4. #4

    Default

    I don't think you should ever abandon a friend, however sometimes you ahve to distance yourself. Just make sure that he knows that you are there for him, but that you will not put up with the drugs. I'm not sure how much you like to read, but if I could refer you to something, it would be something that Kevin Smith wrote about his firend Jason Mewes. Even if you're not a Kevin Smith fan, it is a very open and true tale of someones friend dealing with drug addiction.

    I'm not sure if I'm allowed to link to the story, but if you can look it up online. It's called "Me and My Shadow". It's worth it.
    BB

  5. #5

    Default

    I think you should tell your friend what you have told us. I wouldn't abandon my friend, but as bomb851 said, be careful that he doesn't endanger you. You might the the one person he will listen to, and maybe you will be the one who saves him. I hope you do.

  6. #6

    Default

    Is he an incidental user or a regular user to the point of addiction and wasting money and life on it? If it's the latter, you can't help him, period.

  7. #7

    Default

    While I would definitely try to help him, the bottom line is that he has to be willing to help himself. Judging by your post, It does not seem like your friend really listens to his parents, teachers (if he does show up in school at all), or any adult whatsoever, so telling these people probably would not help. If he is unwilling to help himself, then you may have to let him go as a friend. It may be the toughest decision you ever make, but in the end it may ease up your feelings, and you will certainly get over it with time and help from others. I hope this is not the case and your friend eventually decides to do something about it, but your post suggests that his case may be hopeless.

  8. #8

    Default

    Addicting and unnatural drugs are the ones that fuck up your life, and kill you.
    I wouldn't go to the police, or his parents, but a social worker or somebody that can help him without getting him into trouble. That shows more care than getting him arrested, or grounded for life.

  9. #9

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by bomb851 View Post
    If it was me, I would sever all ties with this person immediately. What if you're at his house hanging out and the cops bust down the front door in a drug raid? Guess who is getting arrested besides your friend? I think it's called guilty by association.

    What if you're in the car with your friend and you all get pulled over by the cops?

    Plus, if he does get busted by the cops later on and the police decide to do a little investigating and your "friend" says you did drugs too, what are you going to do then? It's your word against his.

    There is nothing to gain but a lot to lose when you're friends with someone who does illegal drugs. Drug addicts are not looking after you or anyone else. They will exploit you or anyone around them just so they can get their fix.

    An addict can only get better if he/she is willing to help themselves. You can tell people until you're blue in the face that drugs are bad and they need to quit, but until they are willing to help themselves, it is futile.

    Look, you're 17 years old. You're almost a legal adult. Don't start off your life with a criminal record right from the get go. It's your friend's life. Let them ruin their life if they choose to do so.

    I sound harsh, but do you know how hard it is applying for jobs when an employer runs a background check on you only to find out that you're a convicted felon? Nobody will hire you.

    At the most, tell your friend that you are concerned and he/she should get help while at the same time letting them know that you can't hang around them anymore if they continue to use drugs.
    Hey man I was in a position worse off than his friend. Yes I exploited people but not my friends. I remember the people that were there for me when I needed it. So what, if your mother comes out that she's been banging rock for the last two years are you going to sever ties with her because you might get arrested for her problem? And don't use the family B.S excuse. I have friends that I consider family. What does that make you if you're willing to drop your friend like a bad habit because they're in a tight spot... I've known many a person who was hooked on hard gear that were decent people who kept their problems to themselves. Sorry but people like you rub me the wrong way..

  10. #10
    acorn

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by kronikmod View Post
    The gist of what you portray is simplistic at best. Your argument gets cloudy when it adds non related possibilities to the mix, ie, transposing friends and family. You also gloss over other important bits, exploiting people while expecting innocents to have your back in the event of retaliation by those you’ve burned. In short your arguments have as much substance as hobby-horse's droppings.

    I hope that this has rubbed you the wrong way, enough, to make you seriously think things through.

    TL,DR. You really don’t want to know.



    Back to the OP, when your friend values his drugs more than your friendship, it is high time if not left a little late, for you to move on. Friendship is a two way street, or not at all.

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