I would like to start with my username, Dan Dyper. I've been playing around with the idea of creating a podcast about AB/DL and I've been considering names to use for my podcast. I've also been considering DiaperMike or calling the show Diaper Mic. I won't use my real name because only you and I know about this side of me. My wife, family, friends, co-workers or the guy at the Quickie Mart know about my DL side. So I hope that makes everyone feel special, I know I feel special about finding you all.
I'm 40 years old, and incontinent. I feel that I have several issues going on that cause it. It started when I was 18. I remember feeling like I had to go to the bathroom but when I would try, nothing would happen. This went on for hours until finally I would go to sleep. When I woke, no accidents but boy did I have to go to the bathroom. Over the next few years I continued to have the feeling of having to go but couldn't. Around 30 I began to drip making my underwear damp and I found it pretty annoying. I was scoped by a urologist and he told me I had the bladder of a 50 year old. My valve at the base of my bladder was remaining closed and my bladder would have to push very hard to force urine out. In turn my bladder was very stretched out and lined with striations. I continued to deal with it until this last year when it became much worse and began to show through on my clothes. At which point I've tried the Afex Collection device, male guards and finally a diaper.
The next thing that seems to be affecting me is my lower back. Again, around 30 I began having back issues. I have a herniated disk and a bulging disk. At 30 I went through a bunch of tests to find out what was causing me pain, FUN, but it wasn't until around 34 that a doctor sent me to a chiropractor for an adjustment and for the first time I had relief. My back continued to give me issues on an off but a visit to the chiropractor ussually fixed it. Now at 40 and having visited other doctors I am learning that my back could be and most likely is causing my incontinence.
At 40, I can't feel my bladder when it's full. My bladder decides it's time to pee and I pretty much have to. I can't control my valves or muscles, hold me pee, so when it starts I have to let it go. I can slow or even stop the flow but only for a second or two, never enough time to rush to a bathroom. I, most of the time, am not aware that it's happening unless I'm standing.
I think my wife is a little freaked out by having a husband of 40 in diapers most of the time. Kind of puts a damper on the sex life.
Now for the fun part. I love being in a diaper. I can remember being a kid and stealing diapers from wherever I could. I would squeeze into them and pee until my hearts content. Then I would hide them until I could safely get them to the trash. If I couldn't find a diaper, I made one. I used to take trash bags and cut holes in the corners for my legs and pull them on, fill them with cotton balls and pee. Of course later in my teen years I found sex and moved on. Not ever forgetting about my desire to wear and use diapers. So now, with everything going on I am allowed to wear and use a diaper for real and I love it. I am still working towards wearing a disposable to work but for now I'm only using a disposable pull-up.
I would like to try the AB thing but it would involve cheating on my wife. I do fantasize about it and on occasion I role over in bed away from my wife and suck my thumb. I try to quietly act it out and play it through in my head. Maybe some day I'll actually be able to play the part. I also would love to play the part of compassionate dad. To have to take care of a girl in need of pampering seems extremely appealling.
I am really glad I found you guys and I look forward to chatting with you frequently.