My wife and I decided many months ago that the spontaneity in our sex life would greatly be enhanced if we were uninhibited by birth control. We did some research, and found that having her get fixed would cost multiple thousand dollars, and would require her to take hormone pills to prevent early menopause (which would kill her sex drive, exactly the opposite of our intentions)....
Meanwhile, if we got me fixed, it'd cost less than a grand, and wouldn't affect me in any other way other than, well, I'd be firing blanks, which is a good thing in this situation...
So Monday I went in for the BIG SNIP. Weird day, that was. Doc had prescribed me a couple Xanax - to take one an hour prior to arriving at the clinic, and one immediately upon arrival. BOY was I surprised by the effects... Nurse brought me to the OR, told me to sit down on the table, take my pants down, and cover up with this big paper towel - which I did, then promptly leaned back and conked out. Doc came in, which startled me awake. He laughed and told me to lie back down and relax, and he'd get started.
Next thing I know, I'm back in the car on the way home (my wife driving). Next thing after that, it's dark out, and my wife is asking me if I'm hungry for dinner (surgery was at 1:30 pm). I vaguely recall eating, and then going back to bed.
Tuesday morning, I wake up - with a sinus infection. Oh great. So I'm under strict instructions to wear a jockstrap this whole week, and now I've got a cold. Lovely. Can't have sex, can't do any ageplay to make myself feel better, and now I've got a cold and feel completely miserable on top of it. I took Monday off from work (I have a sedentary job) expecting to be able to work Tuesday. Nope. Managed 4 hours spread out over the day.
Wednesday: Felt worse. Cold invaded my upper airway (dry hack, even more fun). Struggled through 4 hours of work spread out over the day. Jock giving me no end of grief (not fun sitting down with a cup on).
Thursday: Even worse. Cold fully in my chest AND nose, so even if I could breathe through my nose, I couldn't breathe without coughing. Managed an hour and a half of work. Even more frustrating now, because I know I don't have enough time off to cover this disaster.
Friday: Same as thursday. Hour of work, lot of misery, alternating sucking DayQuil and huffing Afrin in hopes that I might get my head cleared enough to get some work done, to no avail.
Today: Cold finally starting to break up. Can breathe through one nostril at any given moment, not coughing much at all. Really, really sick of the jockstrap. Damned thing is actually pinching me in places that it's supposed to be protecting... and causing me to sweat to ridiculous extremes.
Two more days - anyone got a fast forward button?