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Thread: Diaper punishment help

  1. #1

    Default Diaper punishment help

    I hope anyone out there can help enlighten me about this fetish.

    My girlfriend introduced me to her love of diapers recently which I have embraced into our role playing

    Well I just learned she has a darker side and actually likes diaper punishment. She has kept this from me until recently and have showed me a site [removed] that she just loves.

    She has opened up that her first boyfriend introduced diaper punishment to her and would spank her to the point of bruising. He would also publicly humiliate and physically abuse her as well. On top of that her dad was never a real part of her life and her mom had abandoned her for a brief time in her teens. She has had a troubled past and has gone in and out of different schools and even institutions.

    I can understand the notion of having a fetish but this seems to be masochistic behaviour and may need professional help or therapy.

    She even wants to be videotaped being punished and posted online for all to see.

    This to me is very destructive behavior and I would like some input from members here about how should react. Do I embrace it and participate in her fantasy knowing I would be physically hurting her or seek some help.
    Last edited by Trevor; 12-Feb-2011 at 17:43. Reason: Removed reference to adult pay site.

  2. #2


    I've moved the thread to the Mature Topics forum, as it's a mature topic and not adult baby specific.

    That does certainly sound masochistic. The popular slogan of BDSM is 'Safe, sane and consensual'.

    There's nothing wrong or particularly bad about wanting to bring punishment into roleplay, and doing so can be a big turn on for some. The same goes with spanking, although one does have to play safe.

    The first thing is making sure that you're okay with these things. If you feel uncomfortable with punishing or hard spanking, your girlfriend needs to be aware of your limits, and doing any of that stuff should be done in your own time.

    As for public humiliation, this breaks the 'consensual' part of the slogan, in that the unwilling public are being brought into sexual play. The posting of videos online is not quite as bad, but it could certainly be something she later regrets!

    If you think she could benefit from some help, then encourage her to seek it. There's nothing wrong with being kinky, but if you believe her fetishes are negatively impacting her life then help could be good. Maybe a sex therapist?

  3. #3


    Thank you Charlie for your input. It helps puts things into perspective as this is not a topic I can easily open up with any friends or family.

  4. #4


    I agree with Charlie F. In addition, it seems to me that she is taking it way too far. It reminds me of someone who cuts or does other things which are self harming. For that very reason I think she needs professional counseling. For what it's worth, I would definitely not tape your sex play and thus not have it up on the net. You could get yourself into a lot of trouble as you would be the other half. You might want to consider the future you will be having with this girl. She sounds very troubled to me. Many of us on this site, including myself, enjoy some role playing, but I believe she's taking it beyond the acceptable and the safe as a form of self harming. Be careful.

  5. #5


    I think you should just start things slow, like very slow and only do things that you are comfortable with (as things should always be in these situations) but I'm sure you shouldn't put anything on the net, as once it's up there - its there, and it could one day come back to haunt her, and if she will regret it ever, it's not worth doing.

    I think anything you've mentioned other than public would be ok, as long as you're ok with it, but as Charli said, stick to 'Safe, sane and consensual'
    Safe - Not too far with anything pain-related
    Sane - Nothing that will come back to haunt her or you (videos online)
    Consensual - Not in public, as they haven't said yes.

  6. #6


    Thank you all for the insight.

    I would not like to go into details as this is very personal information that should only be shared with a professional but I really want to help her.

    She used to cut herself when she was younger. She abused drugs (coke and marijuana) when she was younger and has always had problems with schooling. In and out of mental institution a few times and was on behaviour medication. Also has seen a number of therapist and refuses to seek any more therapy but I have not pushed the issue.

    The videotaping is not by me but the Daddy/webmaster that runs the paid site. She has been emailing him and has made arrangements to travel across the border to film getting punished. I have seen some of the videos. They are extreme and very disturbing. Ropes, cuffs, pillory, cage, enema, etc. Personally I feel the webmaster is hiding behind the notion of embracing the fetish but is preying on girls to have his way with them. He is a very large heavy set man and would normally not be seen with young women. Not only is he running the site and making money but also abusing women physically and mentally for his own pleasure (in my opinion).

    She wants to explore this fetish more and I said I will do whatever it takes to satisfy her curiosity even to the point of spanking her to bruising (which I lied to her as I could never do that). However, she wants to have a professional do it. I told her if she goes ahead with it there probably could not be a future for us.

    You would think by my description that she would be look like a typical junkie but far from it. She would be considered very attractive by most men and is the most caring person I know. However, I don't know if I can help her or save her as I don't believe she really wants to be saved. I've done some research on masochists and it appears most do not acknowledge they have a problem and treatment is extrememly difficult.

  7. #7


    Several things that come to mind...

    First, fuck the public. If it isn't illegal, then it's frankly not up to them what others do.

    Second, there are three big components that have been lumped together that need to be separately discussed. First, masochistic behavior in and of itself does not immediately dictate a need for psychological help. I know a couple of people that get off on pain, one of whom loves being spanked to the point where he's nearly bleeding. If your girlfriend wants some hard spanking, that in and of itself is not a cry for help.

    Two-I don't know that your GF's past history is necessarily germaine to the conversation. We've all done things in our past. If they're in the past, then let them stay there. I honestly don't think that your GF formerly using coke is the genesis of any masochistic tendencies.

    Three-this whole porn thing sounds sketchy, but then again, knowing someone who is 19 and now HIV-positive from doing porn, it all seems sketchy to me. That said, your description of what the scene would entail is nothing that outlandish in terms of the play trusting partners would do. I mean, i have pics on one of the other abdl sites of me chained to the bed in restraints. My bf sometimes straps me up on a leather straitjacket. The details of the scene don't concern me here. Honestly, I'm reading the wanting to do porn thing more as a cry for help than anything else you've described. I'm reading that as her telling you that she wants you to chain her down and spank her, and if you won't do it she'll find someone who will.

    You need to sit down and talk this all out with her. She obviously has a kinky side, and speaking as a very kinky person myself, I can tell you truthfully that a kinky person that is unfulfilled eventually becomes destructive to a relationship, mostly subconsciously and out of boredom.
    Last edited by Trevor; 15-Feb-2011 at 02:07. Reason: Removed duplicate, auto-merged post.

  8. #8


    Quote Originally Posted by Charlie F View Post
    As for public humiliation, this breaks the 'consensual' part of the slogan, in that the unwilling public are being brought into sexual play.
    This is an excellent statement.

  9. #9


    The coke thing may not be relevant but I thought I would share as much info as it all seems to me to be self destructive behaviour; which includes cutting, heavy spanking, abusing substances, etc.

    The videos I've seen are pretty intense and she seems to want to get more intense. I'm not talking about simple role playing with diaper change and light spanking, but intense spanking, bondage which looks more torture than fetish play.

    I think feeling pain for her makes her feel alive inside or being wanted and/or acknowledged. There are abandonment issues when she was younger and not having a dad coupled with a first boyfriend into diaper fantasy with physical abuse and public humiliation.

    I am contemplating mentioning this to her mom but I think that will probably end our relationship or at least she will never trust me moving forward.

  10. #10


    Quote Originally Posted by xbabyx View Post
    Several things that come to mind...

    First, fuck the public. If it isn't illegal, then it's frankly not up to them what others do.
    Maybe so. I guess there are two ways to look at this.

    1: Bringing this public is nonconsensual. Other people do not want to see this. You wouldn't want to be flashed by an old man, would you?

    2: If a person wears a shirt with a cross saying "Jesus Christ is YOUR Lord", does that mean that they are nonconsensually forcing their religion upon you? So does bringing this public automatically force it upon other people?

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