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Thread: A BIG thought on AB...

  1. #1

    Default A BIG thought on AB...

    I've been doing a lot of thinking and due to a lot of emotional stress, regressing mildly but making sure that I am an adult when I have to be. I have learned a lot about myself in the past few years and recently with the fact that I buy toy cop cars, toy cars, et al, that I never grew up due to the autism I was diagnosed with in '04.

    I also have incontinence issues which has forced me into diapers when I feel I will need them.

    So I have realized that why grow up as an adult if you can control it. I have to be grown up at work, and when around certain people. I have worked hard to control a lot of it.

    I work hard to maintain that balance between adulthood and my regressive child-like nature. I've been described by a close friend as a six-year-old that lives in the the grown-up world to the best of his abilities. It takes a lot of self-control in public to avoid acting like a child and I am proud of how I handle it.

    At home, I'll think nothing of holding my blankie or cuddling with my stuffed killer whale, Dee Dee. As I type this I have my blankie with me. Or even of sucking my thumb which is a habit I never outgrew but have practice SEVERE self-control with because I don't want to be sucking my thumb in public.

    So, my summary is why grow up if you can control your childlike natures when you have to. And I think with my situation- having my folks be in another state for five years, having to do a lot on my own, I've done well for that. This is my way of saying I've made peace with my AB side.

    WildThing121675

    P.S. I think life is also what we all make it to be...
    Last edited by WildThing121675; 02-Feb-2011 at 02:35. Reason: Personal, last minute thought after reading the post

  2. #2

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    I think I'm somewhat similar.

    I can function 'normally', but I have to work at it a bit otherwise people think I'm odd. Usually it's alright because they think I'm a good kind of odd. The 'slightly off, but very nice' variety.

    I used to carry my lunch to work in a Hello Kitty lunchbox. People would laugh about it, but I never cared. What was funny is that someone started feeling sick, so I pulled out some crackers that made their stomach feel better. After that the joke was that we "Always need Kitty around because she might have food hidden away that can keep you alive."

    And about toys...I got to go out for lunch today and I got a kids' meal. There were some teenage girls who were being kind of obnoxious (talking dirty, saying how much they hated certain people, etc...) sitting nearby and they kept eying my lunch. So I pulled out the toy (I got a My Little Pony. I'm pleased!), put it on the table, finished my lunch and proceeded to open the toy and play with it. What's hilarious is that they all suddenly realized they needed to leave. My mom was with me and she looked at me and in all seriousness said "You're more mature than they are." Now that's irony.

    But yes, back to the topic, I have to turn the 'crazy playful' side down at times. I don't like doing it...no, actually, I hate doing it but sometimes I'm forced to. The people at my previous job were kind of used to it. It's was just the way I was, so it wasn't a big deal. Most of the people I'm around during the day know me well enough, so it's not a big deal then either. I could have reined myself in and not played with the pony, but I got a giggle out of giving those silly girls something else to freak out over. That and I don't think it's something people -should- freak out about.

  3. #3

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    I am 35 as well. I have a hard time accepting who I am. I currently am in school (again), I guess I will forever be a student! I enjoy all baby toys just about and stuffed animals and such. I have recently become interested in acquiring vintage toys from when I was a child. I have looked back to things that came out in 1975, the year I was born. I never ever thought that I'd be so obsessed finding these toys but I am now!

    I have PTSD and a severe form of it as well. When I have stressors, I tend to act out and want to hurt myself in some way possible. Nowdays, it isn't as bad as it was. Now, I do things like not eating or drinking. I regress more when I'm stressed as well. I do well to maintain being an adult in public but in my mind sometimes I'm going crazy because I have babyish thoughts. My emotional age is pretty young.

    I am female but have never been pregnant... but I have some bladder problems such as dripping and wetting when I cough, laugh, or sneeze but that's about it. I don't really consider that incontinent but I do wear pads almost 24/7, if not a pullup or a diaper, which is okay because it feeds into my babiness.

    I love to cuddle and actually cuddle up to the back on my couch since I don't have a significant other. I like certain things to snuggle with and sometimes to chew or suck on besides just a bottle and my paci.

    I thoroughly enjoyed reading about you and I thank-you for sharing. I don't know that life is always what you make of it because wen you are abused that is not your choice. But I am glad that your life is going good for you!

    Take care!

  4. #4

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    I think you have it well handled, Wildthing. I'm two different persons, the person at work being very different from the one at home. Fortunately, my wife enjoys my little self and plays along. As for toys and cars, I can't tell you how many times I have bought and built the AMT '40 Ford. That used to be my favorite model when I was a kid. In 6th and 7th grade I had a really great friend, and we built model cars. He's the one I had to leave when we moved, and I had my nervous breakdown. So when I build the '40 Ford, I always think of him and those wonderful years of being 11 and 12 years old.

  5. #5

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    That's the odd thing. In pyschological terms, it's generally regarded as healthy to wear different faces in different situations (within reason). Nobody has the same persona in every situation unless they have no personality at all. As long as you can hold the different facets of your personality under control, and display each one as appropriate, and as long as you are not hurting anyone, then there really should be no limit to who and what you chose to be. As my sig says, being obsessed with appearing like an adult is actually very juvenile behaviour.

    Having said that, you do have to watch yourself. I was walking through a very large empty room at the office yesterday, and almost ended up pretending to be an aeroplane. I was pretty surprised at myself - I haven't felt that urge in twenty years.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by Akastus View Post
    Having said that, you do have to watch yourself. I was walking through a very large empty room at the office yesterday, and almost ended up pretending to be an aeroplane. I was pretty surprised at myself - I haven't felt that urge in twenty years.
    But...it's FUN! *zoooooooom*

    I noticed these ads on Nick Jr. that are about what life would be like if it were like preschool. They have adults that appear to be doing serious things and then as the commercial progresses you see that they're doing something totally different.

    In one it's a group of mechanics gathered around the head mechanic who is reading from an auto repair manual. When he gets to the end a lady says "Read it again!" all excited.

    All I can think of is that I wish things could be like that so people wouldn't worry about being mature all the time. :P

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by CuddleWoozle View Post
    But...it's FUN! *zoooooooom*

    I noticed these ads on Nick Jr. that are about what life would be like if it were like preschool. They have adults that appear to be doing serious things and then as the commercial progresses you see that they're doing something totally different.

    In one it's a group of mechanics gathered around the head mechanic who is reading from an auto repair manual. When he gets to the end a lady says "Read it again!" all excited.

    All I can think of is that I wish things could be like that so people wouldn't worry about being mature all the time. :P
    I love the one with the doctors in the operating room all working on their little 'art' projects. I watch cartoons all the time with my youngest, and even my wife watches along with some of them as they can present a good storyline over time.

    The best part of life is when you can find that situation that allows you to totally let go, if even for just a short while, to let go of all the stressors in your life and focus on the moment. Those short bursts where nothing else matters. When you find those times (and can regularly get them) life is more enjoyable.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by CuddleWoozle View Post
    I think I'm somewhat similar.

    I can function 'normally', but I have to work at it a bit otherwise people think I'm odd. Usually it's alright because they think I'm a good kind of odd. The 'slightly off, but very nice' variety.
    Wow that's me too. I can be more like myself around my colleagues in the lab because they're used to it and even like it, but in most work situations, I have to mindfully act normal.

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