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Thread: How to respond to introductions

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    Default How to respond to introductions

    The short version.
    Most important policies when responding to introductions:

    1) Be Nice!
    If you are in a bad mood and don't have anything constructive to say, you are best off not to post in this forum at all.

    2) Be Welcoming!
    Make people feel more relaxed and comfortable on this site, help them feel they belong.

    3) Use tact when using humor!
    This is not just a place to goof off and mess with people. People are coming in here and getting their first impressions of the community here, so if you are going to use humor, please avoid making he newbie the receiving end of some cruel joke.

    4) If it violates the rules, report it!
    If the introduction has obviously violated one of our major site rules (is asking to meet, is clearly a lie or a fantasy, or is generally creepy in nature) then you are best to report the post and either not respond or respond carefully.

    So, how do we respond to all the threads that are posted in this forum?

    ADISC is an ever-growing community, and as such, there are many new people coming in on a daily basis. Many people have gathered the courage, or have at least spent a moment of time, to introduce themselves to the community here. This is a place for people to not only share about themselves and provide a complete picture of who they are, but also to make their first impressions to the community. There's a funny thing about first impressions: you only get to make one!

    For some, this is easy. They are able to walk into any social group and immediately win the appraisal of their new found peers. For most people though, it's not that simple. So, people are going to be making nervous posts here, and you are likely to catch people making mistakes or misinterpreting what this community is all about.

    This is okay! New contributors are allowed to have misinterpretations and make mistakes. There are ways to set people onto the right path while still making them feel welcomed and avoid creating early harsh feelings.

    When thinking about an introduction thread from the newbie's point of view, ask yourself what would have made you feel welcome, back when you joined. Ask yourself what you would have wanted to hear to show you that this was a friendly community, one that would accept you into it. So, your main objective should be to be nice to new people.

    The Common Forms of Introductions:

    New introductions here tend to fall into several categories here. Let's take a look at a few basic, common forms of introductions and go over the best ways to effectively respond to each of them.

    Intro Type 1 - The High Quality Introduction
    These individuals already seem to know the score. They understand that we are not just any other diaper site, and that, in order to gain the most acceptance here, they ought to share more about themselves. Here is an example of a quality introduction:

    This, as you can tell, is a solid introduction. It wasn't the longest out there, but it covered just about everything an introduction should be. If you see a new member posting an introduction like that, then I encourage as many of us other members as possible to respond to them and make them feel welcomed. If they haven't gotten any responses yet, then this is a great opportunity to be the first to greet them.

    When you see a great introduction and have time, please make sure to:
    • Read the whole intro: this is important to getting to know the newbie. If they've made a quality introduction, you should already know whether or not you share interests or like their personality. If you have anything in common, feel free to say so and talk about it.
    • Quote the newbie if you respond: even some members who post a great introduction don't always think to come back and check their introduction thread. If you quote them though in your response, you are more likely to get them to check back in quicker.
    • Make a connection: Remember, every introduction is made by a real person, with feelings, who is looking to make a connection to someone. Simply saying "Hey there, welcome" is nice, but it doesn't quite do the trick. The key is to pick something good and informative in their post, and respond to it in a way that shows you read their post, welcomes them into the community, and either makes them feel good, or provides them a link to something they might be interested in.
    • Ask further questions: For example, if they mention they like movies, you can ask them which movie is their favorite. Then, when they reply, you can comment on it, show them a helpful link to something of that nature or make a reference to a scene, etc.

    Intro Type 2 - The Content-Lacking Introductions
    These introductions fall into one of two categories:

    One liners that say little or nothing:

    Or intros that, while a bit longer, are entirely diaper interest related:

    In both of these cases, it is a good idea to:
    • Remember not all intros are amazing. Many of the best members here started from a lousy introduction that was either very short or was mostly all diaper related. Just because someone doesn't make an amazing and well-rounded intro does not mean they won't become a great member.
    • Politely ask for more information. If someone hasn't posted much, or seems to only care about diapers, then this is a great chance to use tact and kindness to show them that this site is safe and that they can feel free to post a bit more about their interests here and get to know people.
    • Be careful if using humor. If any humor is used in your post, make sure it is tasteful and is not easily taken as an insult or personal attack. Remember, while humor is good, it always works better if you include actual instructions and/or suggestions in with the humor. Show potentially nervous or confused newbies how to be a good member here; don't just flame them!

    Intro Type 3 - The Poorly Written Introductions
    These introductions may be decent, but the poster clearly has trouble with spelling and grammar. Here's a fairly typical example:

    Ok, here is clearly an example of someone who could use a little help at understanding how posts should probably be written here. In the post, we have examples of 'txt' speak, using unnecessary abbreviations and shorthands, as well as a number of blaring grammatical and spelling errors. They have some decent content to this post, but its overall delivery is poor.

    The way to approach introductions like this is to:
    • Try to read what has been written. Remember that many people really do have learning disabilities or are learning English as a second language and are not very proficient at their skills yet. This does not make them a bad member. At least try to read what they have written, and if you can't decipher it, then it is probably best to not respond.
    • Remind them, if they used 'txt speach,' that this site requires that people post with reasonable English. The site does not allow people to post in txt speak on a regular basis. Kindly remind people of this rule if they are violating it.
    • Suggest they use a spellchecker, if they are having a hard time spelling. For those who are dyslexic, the world of written language is a baffling place! Please be mindful that not everyone sees things the same way you do, and kindly suggest they look into using certain tools and writing aids if these tools might help the person. However, remember to be kind when suggesting them!
    • Be careful if using humor. Again, if any humor is used in your post, make sure it is tasteful and is not insulting. Include actual instructions and/or suggestions in with the humor. Show people how to make better posts here, don't just criticize them.

    Intro Type 4 - The Rules-Violating Introduction
    These intros, broken up into a few categories here, are ones that need to be handled by the staff. If you find one of these, please report the post to the staff.

    4a) The Personal Ad and Meetup Request Intros
    These intros, even if the rest looks pretty good, will request for a meet up or will look like a personal ad. Here's an example that hits all these possible trouble spots:

    Okay. That was a terrible introduction, hands down. So, how do you respond? Hit the Report Post button and notify the staff of the introduction. While the example above was extreme, it shows you elements that can be found in introductions. Generally, people will not cross quite so many lines, but there are several things here that are a problem:
    • He gives a full name
    • He posts physical info that is unnecessary and not wanted in general
    • He wants to find a date and/or a mate
    • He wants to meet up
    • He posts his e-mail address and offers his phone number

    None of those are okay. It is wise to report these, and either move on or make a brief post about how those things aren't allowed here, and how they might want to start over again with the intro tutorial.

    4b) The Creepy, Lying, Fantasy-based Introduction - These are sometimes easy to catch, and sometimes quite difficult. Sometimes, people are outlandish and are obviously posting lies:

    Wow! That's someone who is clearly not the type we want around here. In cases like that, feel free to have fun! Don't cross the lines and create drama, but there is no need to really expect much good to come from this person either. They have made their choice. They are not going to be good contributors here, nor should they be on the site.

    Sometimes though, it's a bit tougher to catch, and we need to be very careful:

    Well, this is a good example of a time where a story my very well be a lie, but could also be the truth. Again, report the post to staff so that they will know to look into the user. Some of you may even remember a user a bit ago who was posting almost exactly like this, and after the moderators looked into it, they found the user was guilty of lying about age and was subsequently banned for that and posting lies on the forum.

    In other words, when people's stories seem a bit awkward, or not so believable, tact is key in any response you give. Don't just post to say "My BS meter is going off here guys." Actually post what makes you concerned, and ask the poster to go into a bit more detail on what seems fishy to you. Sometimes, there is a great explanation; other times, you successfully expose the liar as what they are.

    4c) The Spammer, the Troll, and the Fire Starter Introductions - These can be fun, actually, or quite enraging. In all cases though, make sure to report the post to the staff.

    This site will occasionally get a bit of a rush of spammers:

    And, we'll sometimes get our trolls who are only hear to flame and create drama for their own amusement:

    Drugs are bad, m'kay?
    Basically, we get people who love to come in just to start stuff for fun. Our goal is to cut their fun short quickly and to ban them before they get too much out of this place. These people really need to get a life, really! Feel free to treat them like trolls, and use humor in your responses to them, but definitely make sure to report the post.


    While there are a few outliers and some unusual cases that come up, most of the threads you will see posted in the Greetings/Introductions forum fit into at least one of those categories.

    In essence, be kind to newer members and do not flame or roast them. Every member of this community must uphold its rules. There are no forums or areas of the site where there are exceptions to these rules. Humor can be used when addressing troublesome newbies, but always remember not to fly off the cuff and go over the top. Sometimes, it is the experienced members who need a better lesson on how to post in this forum than the newbies themselves.

    Thanks for reading, and make sure to keep it clean and greet people well.
    Last edited by Moo; 21-May-2013 at 04:45. Reason: removed references to negative rep

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