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Thread: Their is really no need for family

  1. #1

    Default Their is really no need for family

    I have been thinking recently... other than the fact of being supported till your 18.. there is no need for family for some people. I find myself distant from my family , i do not like being around them and even my mother is the cause of most of my emotional pain and yet thinks she knows best. My dad dying almost 3 yrs ago has opened myself up to see beside shim my family was and always will be emotionally useless for me. I rely on my friends and my bf for the love I do need and their support. I am not close to my mother at all and we have had bad arguments. My brother don't even really like her either. Music is always here to calm me down after a fight and to help me think... show my romantic side as well. I swear i will get away from my family no matter what these freaking therapist and such people say or think. My mother is not someone i need to keep in my life. I know what is best for me... and its not my mother or family... it is my friends... my boyfriend... and music.... does anyone feel like me or have a different opinion... if so please tell me

  2. #2


    When I was a lot younger I did feel the same as you, yes.

    You sound like you're a teenager that's having a rough patch with your family, and that's completely normal, I think most people go through that phase.

    My phase went particularly badly, I ended up moving out at 17 and moving 500+ miles away to a whole different country! For the first time I was living by myself and in a huge new city. And it was awesome.

    In the end though, I moved back to be closer to my family. I ended up missing them. When I first moved out we didn't talk on the phone for about a month and a half, but by the end of my away time we were talking once or twice a day. At the end of the day, your mother has a bond with you that no one else will ever have. She created you. That's an amazing thing.

    Obviously for some people it's best not to stay in contact with their parent(s) once they become emancipated/move out/whatever, but for most once they get past the troublesome teen years their parents become their closest allies.

  3. #3


    well i dont very well see keepin my mother in my life could she will always find a way to screw it up and make me miserable

  4. #4


    What's she done to upset you this much?

    It all sounds like teen angst to me

  5. #5


    ruined my love life when shes pissed she takes it out on me then goes round acting like it never happened... she always complains bout somehting... she prys into my private life. she makes situations worse

  6. #6


    To be honest, that's a parents job. Every parents 'pries' into their childrens lives, it's called caring.

    Parents are embarassing, and annoying, and curious, and always think they know best - but that tends to be because they do know best. They've lived a helluva lot longer than you and want to save you from the same mistakes they made.

    Honestly, hold on to parents, they're the only people that will have your back for the rest of your life (in general).

  7. #7


    Family is made of the people you care about (and who, in return, care about you), biological or not.

    Also, parents being the source of REAL, UNADULTERATED PAIN =/= teenage angst. Look into it again. If you truly believe it's craptastical, get away from them and never speak to them again. If they don't care about you, they're not really family. But if you miss them after you move out, then... well I guess you do and you should talk to your mom again.

    On the other hand, I have a few ragtag misfits who look up to me, and when one of them says "Nothing's wrong, get away.", I flip a fricken' table because I love them so much. I just want to pry the kid open and take whatever wrong's out. (But then again, I'm not the source of any of their struggles. Kids in my town have a lot of issues.) Have you ever thought it might be that she's trying to compensate for your father being out of the picture? She might be putting too much on her shoulders and she doesn't know how much it hurts you...

    Protip: Forums, therapists, groups, etc. are going to give you a million of biased opinions that work for ONE person and not you. The best you can do is introspection.

    (Sorry, Talula, had to balance it out with cynicism.)

  8. #8


    she really wasn't involved with my dad cause by the time he died they had been divorced for several years i lived with my dad for that time till he died. She don't have much emotionally thee for him dying cause of that so...

  9. #9


    This is likely not going to be what you WANT to hear, but you NEED to hear it:

    Eventually, you will need your family. It's just a fact of life. Human life is so much more fragile than we think when we're kids, and I agree with Talula - you sound like a kid going through a rough patch. We've all been there. But you need to realize, Life DOES happen --

    We get bad news from employers and doctors. We have accidents. Bad things happen to our cars, our homes or other things we need. Other people do bad things to us. None of us are too rich, too pretty, or too positive for these things to happen. Your magical boyfriend is also still growing up (in all likelihood). If something bad enough happened, you don't know if he'd stick there through it or be able to handle it.

    Mom pries, because that is what Moms do. "When you give birth to someone, you just get an urge to keep tabs on them."
    She LOVES you and wants to know you're safe, but she's also human and makes mistakes, or doesn't know all she needs to know about everything - just like you and everyone else. Work on that relationship and swallow your pride.

    I lost my mother last year to emphysema.
    I wish I could hear her voice again. I wish I could experience her quirky sense of humor again, or hear her advice again (even if sometimes it *didn't* fit what I needed). And nobody gives hugs like Mom does. Sometimes, I really need a Mom hug. If you cut off ties with her, and something happened, you would regret it for the rest of your life. And that's a pain NO music nor magical boyfriends can soothe - even yours.

  10. #10


    thats just the thing tho were not close... we dont hug in fact id be going crazy with anger to even hug her..... i dont feel emotionally positive towards her nor do i feel as if i like to be near her... only time she's bearable is when she is drunk or she has money... I DO NOT think she should be all up in my love life and personal buisness cause its my life and if i wanted her to know I would tell her.... I know any pain I have my bf can help with when he's not in bleh meanish.. tired mood lol when he can't help my friends will and I know my friends are my true family... but I have yet to hear anyone say how a father fits to the loving and such like a mother

    ---------- Post added at 10:54 AM ---------- Previous post was at 10:43 AM ----------

    this should kidna show my feelings on this YouTube - The day I left the womb by Escape the Fate with lyrics! (:

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