Due to my latin background I was brought up Roman Catholic, My parents showed me God and talked to me about him and in general guided me spiritually, I never went to church regularly until I was around 12 when I went to do my first communion, I enjoyed my time there and learning about God and catholic things but I never felt quite comfortable. I was baptized as an infant tough.... anyways I felt good where I was at then when I was 14 I did my confirmation. At the time I was a good little boy and did this of my own accord and thought it was what I wanted.
Fast Forward a bit and I'm online, I found the internet and the people of the internet and my cute little naive head was exposed. I would often hang out in a site and try to advise people. I would learn at this time much about female anatomy and birth control and many other mature subjects. Thus I reached to a conclusion that I'll just not screw anything until I'm married and ready to bring a child into the world. I don't want a child to have to be torn up and stuff..... anyways as I matured I learned how bad the world is, I got severely depressed at this time and questioned God's "plan", to a point where I figured he was a freaking idiot and he probably didn't exist, he wouldn't allow this to happen to his creatures if he truly loved them. So I started denouncing God, being angry with organized religion and overall being pissy and a little emo kid and angry at how shit was going down. I wanted to somehow change all of that. But I really no longer had a God... I doubted his existence.
I also questioned how people can do such horrible acts in the name of God. Such as Gay bashing, the spanish inquisition, the genocide of the natives of the new world (in the name of God), I'm literally the last remaining blood to the Taino Indians which is an epic fail, and all that other evil stuff. I concluded that Organized religion is evil. People are corrupted in positions of power and that the vatican was probably the evil empire (Star wars)
. Anyways Point being that I questioned and thought for myself.
So fast forward a while and I met a girl who was a awesome Christian person. She sort of renewed my faith and showed me not all religion is like the media radicals. Enter Non-Denominational Churches. would attend one when I visited her (this is my fiancee) and I just loved the atmosphere the love, the people, Kind warming welcoming accepting. I saw how Good people can truly be. After a while of self thinking and with a bit of her guidance I concluded that. There is no only way to worshipping God. Or doing his "will" the end goal of Christianity is to help they neighbor. I've always wanted to help. But I found that the way many Christians do it is wrong, it's not helping and it's horrible represenation of true christians. Kind of like how those wierdo Ab's are on the news? They get the media presentation and they give us the normal AB's the bad rep. It's essentially the same principal!
So after a while I learned different thing and regained my confidence. I reevaluated my life and now I trust God. Granted it's not easy being an all around nice guy. Or help people when you have stuff you want to do. But it makes you feel good for helping others. Seeing a smile on your face just warms you. knowing you affected someone life in a positve was is awesome. I chose to live my life this way. Even if the athiest are correct, I'm happy, even if there is no after life or no eternal life or what not. I don't regret any positive things I could achieve for people. If I'm wrong so be it.
Due to my beliefs I don't judge people, or try not to. If you're atheist I'll respect that and won't bug you but as a man of the christian faith I chose to know more people outside of my religion. Why? Because i'm curious by nature and that's kind of the whole point of christianity. To unto others even if they aren't Christians. Help them out. I have a Satanist friend (The self worshiping kind) and we run the guild together. I've known her for years and we are good friend. Have gotten to religious debates but kept things civilized.
Anyways that's just so you get to know how I work.... oh and the whole virgin till marriage thing isn't something imposed on me by my religion or whatever. I'm just terrified of fucking my life up. XD oh and gays are cool with me and I don't think they are sinners.... I'm pretty sure it's some misquoted line in the bible taken out of context. Since it's only mentioned once? So yeah (rather to my understanding)