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Thread: Well It Was Nice , Life and All

  1. #1

    Default Well It Was Nice , Life and All

    But within the next week or so I will be dead. I have to break the news to my parents that my gf is pregnant.

    Though I'm 18 and she's 20 we both live at home with our parents, work part time jobs, and I'm still in high school.

    She abhors the idea of abortion and stopped talking to some very close friends because they themselves have had an abortion. She's likely going to miscarry or be told by specialists in the capital to abort due to her condition (Very small body size due to CP, she's 4' 3" very small) but I don't want to hope for a miscarry because I'd feel like a monster.

    Anyways, if any of you are having a rough week, you can look at this post and think, "Ha, I'm not as screwed as that guy."

    Discuss:
    -How long you think I have to live?
    -Best approach to telling my parents.
    -Anyone else been through something similar?

    P.S. I have no doubt in my mind I could make a great dad, I just know I do not have the life experience to pass on and I do not want to depend on mine and her parents at all.

  2. #2
    Butterfly Mage

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    You're not going to die. You will, however, have to become a full-fledged adult much sooner than you had probably planned. If your girlfriend does manage to deliver the baby despite her health conditions, you will be legally responsible for that new life for 18 years and morally responsible for the entirety of your life.

    You life will not end, but it most certainly will change.

  3. #3

    Default

    Well, I always wanted to be a father some day. Some day just became closer than I thought.

  4. #4

    Default

    I will give the same saying I've said to my friend. You'll only be hurting the ones that love you... Killing yourself will only cause more grief and pain for your loved ones rather than yourself. I understand the problem you will be facing but killing yourself will put grief on your gf... If she keeps the child, she will be taking care of a child all by herself. At least if you live, then she'll have your support.

    It is hard for you I understand but killing yourself is not the answer. You just need to be rational and mature and apprehend the situation. Let your parents know gently and ask if they will offer their support. You obviously love this girl and I would hate to see this girl raising a child without the father. So I'm asking, not as a member of ADISC but as a friend to you. Don't do this.

  5. #5

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by JoshE2810 View Post
    I will give the same saying I've said to my friend. You'll only be hurting the ones that love you... Killing yourself will only cause more grief and pain for your loved ones rather than yourself. I understand the problem you will be facing but killing yourself will put grief on your gf... If she keeps the child, she will be taking care of a child all by herself. At least if you live, then she'll have your support.

    It is hard for you I understand but killing yourself is not the answer. You just need to be rational and mature and apprehend the situation. Let your parents know gently and ask if they will offer their support. You obviously love this girl and I would hate to see this girl raising a child without the father. So I'm asking, not as a member of ADISC but as a friend to you. Don't do this.
    In fairness, I think the post and thread title were a reference to an impending murder, not an impending suicide.

    For our OP, you're really in a bit of a sticky spot here. The parents aren't going to murder you per say, but you've got a hard row to hoe for the next several years. Whatever college/university plans you had are going to have to be changed and altered so you can get a job that pays enough to feed and diaper a kid. The same will go for the GF as well.

    As for telling the parents, well, it's like pulling a band-aid. You're just gonna have to do it. It's going to suck, hard. That's just kinda how it works though. You do something stupid, and you have to own up to it and get on with dealing with it. If your parents are decent, they'll at least help you out by watching the kid from time to time. Realistically, though, at least judging by the example of my parents (mom was barely 17 and dad was barely 20 when I was born), you're in for a rough several years. That said, my parents made it through, and that was in an era when teens getting pregnant was a really big deal, so you can do it.

  6. #6

    Default

    I wouldn't say your life is over literally..:| But it will change as others have said. You chose to engage in activities which resulted in this so the best advice me or anyone else on here will give you is to step up if the baby is delivered. Best way to tell your parents is to be up front about it and tell them as soon as you get the chance. Hiding will only make it worse and they will be less understanding of you because it'll lead them to think that you aren't going to take responsibility for your actions. Nothing like this has happened to me so we don't share any common ground there.

  7. #7

    Default

    Unless you've been doing a heckuva job hiding the relationship, this can't be THAT big a surprise to your parents. Believe it or not, they were 18 once. Not saying they'll be pleased, and obviously I have no clue how they'll react, as I don't know them, but I can say they won't be as surprised as you think. And no, you're not going to die, but your life just changed a whole bunch.

    That said, the only choice you have is to support her through this and be a man about it, regardless of how it turns out. A lot of young men in your situation choose the military, and it turns out well for many of them.

  8. #8

    Default

    I'm certainly not the best person to ask for advice on this, but I'll agree with what everyone else has said: Yes, your life will be different. Yes, it will be much more different than that of a lot of teenage parents due to the circumstances. But you'll get through it. I'll keep you in my thoughts for sure, though. Please just keep us updated on the situation.



    Quote Originally Posted by JoshE2810 View Post
    I will give the same saying I've said to my friend. You'll only be hurting the ones that love you... Killing yourself will only cause more grief and pain for your loved ones rather than yourself. I understand the problem you will be facing but killing yourself will put grief on your gf... If she keeps the child, she will be taking care of a child all by herself. At least if you live, then she'll have your support.

    It is hard for you I understand but killing yourself is not the answer. You just need to be rational and mature and apprehend the situation. Let your parents know gently and ask if they will offer their support. You obviously love this girl and I would hate to see this girl raising a child without the father. So I'm asking, not as a member of ADISC but as a friend to you. Don't do this.
    I hate it when people say stuff like this. Not your life, not your death, not your problem. A lot of the things we do hurt others. I find that personal happiness is much more important than the happiness of others around you. (Unless you're, like, a martyr.)

    But that's totally not what he was saying, so yeah. He was implying that his parents were going to totally kill him, but I don't think they will. They'll be disappointed, yes, but they won't kill you. I've had to tell my mother worse things, and she didn't kill me. I'm sure she wanted to strangle me, but very few people murder each other over... well... anything.

  9. #9

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by JoshE2810 View Post
    I will give the same saying I've said to my friend. You'll only be hurting the ones that love you... Killing yourself will only cause more grief and pain for your loved ones rather than yourself. I understand the problem you will be facing but killing yourself will put grief on your gf... If she keeps the child, she will be taking care of a child all by herself. At least if you live, then she'll have your support.

    It is hard for you I understand but killing yourself is not the answer. You just need to be rational and mature and apprehend the situation. Let your parents know gently and ask if they will offer their support. You obviously love this girl and I would hate to see this girl raising a child without the father. So I'm asking, not as a member of ADISC but as a friend to you. Don't do this.
    Aha thanks, but I don't plan on offing myself anytime soon. I love my life.

    ---------- Post added at 12:30 PM ---------- Previous post was at 12:28 PM ----------

    Also, I think my mother will be the easiest one to tell. She had her first kid when she was 14 or 16, can't remember exactly. Though it died of cradle death.

  10. #10
    Peachy

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by kronikmod View Post

    Also, I think my mother will be the easiest one to tell. She had her first kid when she was 14 or 16, can't remember exactly. Though it died of cradle death.
    A history of teen pregnancy in her family? Haven't you leaned about ways to have sex without getting pregnant? What's so hard about applying any of those methods? A small price to pay for not being a father 14 years before the average (at least the average here, but then, teen pregnancy rates here are significantly lower because people either keeps thelr pants/legs closed or know how to be responsible).

    Either way, now that the damage is done, don't punish your kid for your/your partner's mistake and be a good father!

    Peachy

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