When I was much younger, I was forced to see therapists by my parents. I learned not to trust those therapists very quickly, because they were telling everything I said to them to my mother. I remember even in high school, there was a guidance counselor there who taped my conversation with him so he could play it back for my mother later on that day. (Of course, that could have been another lie on my mother's part - she told me he taped the conversation. In any case, she did find out exactly what I said to him one way or another.)
Not long after I graduated from high school, I decided to take control of my mental health treatment out of my mother's hands, and sought out therapy and medication treatment on my own terms. Of course, then I still did not trust therapists, and they could not help me when I was not being completely honest with them. It was around this time that I went to a therapist who thought that all of my problems could be solved if I just decided to not be gay anymore. Really. He was simultaneously fascinated and horrified with my homosexuality.
I guess I never really was completely honest with the therapists I have seen at any point in this life. The funny thing is that with the last couple of therapists I have seen, I knew I had no reason to be dishonest with them. Yet deep down, I still sensed that I could not trust them with my inner demons.
So, I am contemplating finding a therapist at this point in my life, and this time, I will cut the bullshit completely out of the picture.
I have been making a lot of personal growth over the last few months - but there still is a lot of room for improvement in my quest to move forward.
So, now that I am going to start seeing a therapist and now that I am going to actually take it seriously - I wonder if anybody can tell me how to land a good one, and if there are any real warning signs that I should find another therapist if I land into the office of somebody who is unethical?
Silly question, I know..... But if I am going to see a therapist, I do not want to find somebody who will abuse my trust in any way, shape or form. I need a therapist who will treat my secrets with as much privacy as my AA sponsor does.
Guess a part of me still does not trust anybody in the field. Heh.