Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 12

Thread: Therapy and therapists.

  1. #1

    Default Therapy and therapists.

    When I was much younger, I was forced to see therapists by my parents. I learned not to trust those therapists very quickly, because they were telling everything I said to them to my mother. I remember even in high school, there was a guidance counselor there who taped my conversation with him so he could play it back for my mother later on that day. (Of course, that could have been another lie on my mother's part - she told me he taped the conversation. In any case, she did find out exactly what I said to him one way or another.)

    Not long after I graduated from high school, I decided to take control of my mental health treatment out of my mother's hands, and sought out therapy and medication treatment on my own terms. Of course, then I still did not trust therapists, and they could not help me when I was not being completely honest with them. It was around this time that I went to a therapist who thought that all of my problems could be solved if I just decided to not be gay anymore. Really. He was simultaneously fascinated and horrified with my homosexuality.

    I guess I never really was completely honest with the therapists I have seen at any point in this life. The funny thing is that with the last couple of therapists I have seen, I knew I had no reason to be dishonest with them. Yet deep down, I still sensed that I could not trust them with my inner demons.

    So, I am contemplating finding a therapist at this point in my life, and this time, I will cut the bullshit completely out of the picture.

    I have been making a lot of personal growth over the last few months - but there still is a lot of room for improvement in my quest to move forward.

    So, now that I am going to start seeing a therapist and now that I am going to actually take it seriously - I wonder if anybody can tell me how to land a good one, and if there are any real warning signs that I should find another therapist if I land into the office of somebody who is unethical?

    Silly question, I know..... But if I am going to see a therapist, I do not want to find somebody who will abuse my trust in any way, shape or form. I need a therapist who will treat my secrets with as much privacy as my AA sponsor does.

    Guess a part of me still does not trust anybody in the field. Heh.

  2. #2

    Default

    Hey, I've not seen a therapist as such, but I have had group counselling, which I found enormously helpful. I am not going to ask why you are seeking their assistance, but the group I went to helped me to overcome my sexuality issues, which was causing me severe problems and had done for years. Would a group situation be any good for you do you think rather than a one on one? I am not sure if the one I went to was a charity or if the counsellors were just volunteers, whatever it was it levelled me and my thinking. It’s just a thought really. I hope that you find who or what you want soon.

  3. #3

    Default

    If you like the counselor you presently have, you could just become more honest with him. I guess my question is, who has helped you more with your alcoholism, because you have done so well with that, that you shouldn't lose that person. As for finding a great therapist, do you know someone in the medical field who can recommend someone? They usually have good contacts, and word gets around in the medical family. The other issue may be with you and your past issue of distrust. You may be at the next great step of growth in your life where you are able to let down your guard and become more honest, having trust that this person won't betray your trust. I know that that will be difficult.

    My relationship did not work with my psychiatrist because he was unpleasant with me and so I immediately lost that trust element. Part of the problem was me. I just wanted to read my poetry to him and he wanted to have a real discussion with me. Obviously the problem was mine, but he was the professional, and he should have been more patient. He should have sensed how afraid and humiliated I was, and given me the time and space to eventually build a relationship with him. That never happened. I hope you can find that person.

  4. #4

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by itsacurlyone View Post
    Hey, I've not seen a therapist as such, but I have had group counselling, which I found enormously helpful. I am not going to ask why you are seeking their assistance, but the group I went to helped me to overcome my sexuality issues, which was causing me severe problems and had done for years. Would a group situation be any good for you do you think rather than a one on one? I am not sure if the one I went to was a charity or if the counsellors were just volunteers, whatever it was it levelled me and my thinking. It’s just a thought really. I hope that you find who or what you want soon.
    To be completely honest, I want as few people as possible to be aware of a lot of what I am dealing with. People here have a good idea what most of it is, but telling it behind an anonymous nick is a lot easier than saying it to anybody face-to-face - let alone a whole group!



    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    If you like the counselor you presently have, you could just become more honest with him. I guess my question is, who has helped you more with your alcoholism, because you have done so well with that, that you shouldn't lose that person. As for finding a great therapist, do you know someone in the medical field who can recommend someone? They usually have good contacts, and word gets around in the medical family. The other issue may be with you and your past issue of distrust. You may be at the next great step of growth in your life where you are able to let down your guard and become more honest, having trust that this person won't betray your trust. I know that that will be difficult.

    My relationship did not work with my psychiatrist because he was unpleasant with me and so I immediately lost that trust element. Part of the problem was me. I just wanted to read my poetry to him and he wanted to have a real discussion with me. Obviously the problem was mine, but he was the professional, and he should have been more patient. He should have sensed how afraid and humiliated I was, and given me the time and space to eventually build a relationship with him. That never happened. I hope you can find that person.
    I do not have a counselor or therapist now. I do have a psychiatrist who prescribes my anti-psychotic medications, but that's about it at the present moment.

    I am thinking about maybe going back to the last therapist I had, though if I did that, my next appointment will involve a LOT of explaining, and a part of me really does not want to get into that while another part feels it is probably necessary for my own well-being. If that makes any sense.

  5. #5

    Default

    I found that when I went through therapy that it wasn't my lack of trust so much as finding someone with the right attitude, if they've got the right attitude (caring about you and not the money) then your sorted I spent 3 sessions where I didn't feel like talking, so she found us other ways of communicating. She had the right attitude I really wanted to sort things out I persevered for 6 months of appointments before we even discussed my real reasons for my being there, as for your lousy run of therapists it doesn't surprise me I've never found anyone half as good as Meryl and I doubt I ever will

  6. #6

  7. #7
    Bobbie

    Default

    Not much advice I could give, but best of luck!

  8. #8

    Default

    as strange as it sounds the better therapist are the ones not looking to tell you how to fix or resolve your issues, but instead the ones who are looking to help you find the right answer for yourself.

    I went through about 8 months of therapy myself once I moved out of my parents place and my therapist was someone who right off the bat had a completely down to earth humble and calming personality. He was someone who was more interested in what I had to say then what he might suggest. He still did suggest things from time to time but they were ideas we had both come around to in the course of the session not something he felt he needed to force me to do.

    So really when it comes to therapists look for the ones who are looking to listen to you and being humble is a great sign too.

  9. #9

    Default

    I identify with your post. I, believe it or not, am on your side about counselors. Some are good and want to actually help, while others overly stretch out issues.

    First of all, yeah, counselors do that, they tell the parents of what you said to them, usually to help and it's good thing for a mother to hear about what makes a boy's gears turn.

    Second, they make all your problems overblown so they can get as much pay as possible from either you or the government assistance. If you don't state to them that your problems are not so bad, it's automatically worser than what you say. As though your not really trying to resolve anything.

    But, all councilors, even the AA program ones don't actually ever want to completely fix your problems, that is truly up to the 'patient'.

    I was counseled from 12-18, it is garbage 1/2 the time. They'll never sit there and finally say us "Are you nuts? Do you really want stay depressed? You have so many things to be happy about." because people with mental issues would rather respond with sadness about that remark, instead of actually admitting there right almost all the time.

    Again, there are good councilors and bad councilors. Your mother has her own issues probably, and must of misunderstood you, a bad mix of comprehension and dysfunction making you and herself that much worse. Doesn't make sense to you? Newsflash: well that's how most people disintegrate.

    Two or more people can never admit to be at fault in so many situations. There both extremes on issues and both wrong, lol, like the Government.

    No one likes being told there wrong. Me neither.

  10. #10

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Kitsuno View Post
    as strange as it sounds the better therapist are the ones not looking to tell you how to fix or resolve your issues, but instead the ones who are looking to help you find the right answer for yourself.

    I went through about 8 months of therapy myself once I moved out of my parents place and my therapist was someone who right off the bat had a completely down to earth humble and calming personality. He was someone who was more interested in what I had to say then what he might suggest. He still did suggest things from time to time but they were ideas we had both come around to in the course of the session not something he felt he needed to force me to do.

    So really when it comes to therapists look for the ones who are looking to listen to you and being humble is a great sign too.
    Yeah, the last couple of therapists I saw were like that. They actually might have helped if I were willing to work with them at the time.



    Quote Originally Posted by matthew1983 View Post
    I identify with your post. I, believe it or not, am on your side about counselors. Some are good and want to actually help, while others overly stretch out issues.

    First of all, yeah, counselors do that, they tell the parents of what you said to them, usually to help and it's good thing for a mother to hear about what makes a boy's gears turn.

    Second, they make all your problems overblown so they can get as much pay as possible from either you or the government assistance. If you don't state to them that your problems are not so bad, it's automatically worser than what you say. As though your not really trying to resolve anything.

    But, all councilors, even the AA program ones don't actually ever want to completely fix your problems, that is truly up to the 'patient'.

    I was counseled from 12-18, it is garbage 1/2 the time. They'll never sit there and finally say us "Are you nuts? Do you really want stay depressed? You have so many things to be happy about." because people with mental issues would rather respond with sadness about that remark, instead of actually admitting there right almost all the time.

    Again, there are good councilors and bad councilors. Your mother has her own issues probably, and must of misunderstood you, a bad mix of comprehension and dysfunction making you and herself that much worse. Doesn't make sense to you? Newsflash: well that's how most people disintegrate.

    Two or more people can never admit to be at fault in so many situations. There both extremes on issues and both wrong, lol, like the Government.

    No one likes being told there wrong. Me neither.
    Not all therapists overblow the problem. Granted, a lot of them do just that. If a therapist starts making my problems sound monumental, I know I'll start looking for a new one after that appointment is finished. Some counsellors want to completely fix the problem themselves, and those are the ones that fail.



    Quote Originally Posted by MCsquared View Post
    I found that when I went through therapy that it wasn't my lack of trust so much as finding someone with the right attitude, if they've got the right attitude (caring about you and not the money) then your sorted I spent 3 sessions where I didn't feel like talking, so she found us other ways of communicating. She had the right attitude I really wanted to sort things out I persevered for 6 months of appointments before we even discussed my real reasons for my being there, as for your lousy run of therapists it doesn't surprise me I've never found anyone half as good as Meryl and I doubt I ever will
    One of the therapists my mother dragged me to when I was 16 was like that. My mother got frustrated with him because he was not telling her about anything that was going on in our sessions, so she demanded answers from me. I told her he was letting me talk at my own pace, and that made her VERY pissed off. I was sent to a different therapist the next week.

    Heh.

Similar Threads

  1. Question about going to see a Therapists
    By Poohbearboy in forum Adult Babies & Littles
    Replies: 38
    Last Post: 01-Jan-2010, 11:07
  2. Therapy
    By statik in forum Adult Babies & Littles
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 04-Dec-2009, 10:10

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
ADISC.org - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community.
ADISC.org is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.