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Thread: Saw My Molester Today...

  1. #1

    Unhappy Saw My Molester Today...

    We were just walking through Walmart, when this guy suddenly asks about my brother. We told him, and then he told us his name (because we obviously didn't know who he was), and that's when I knew.

    So, I saw my molester today, how was your day?

    It happened when I was about 4 (and he was about 10-11), but I didn't remember until 2 years ago. So, that sucked.

    This sucks much more.

    I didn't say anything to him after that, I just left. He may not even remember doing it, but I do. And I wish I didn't.

    ...I hope I get over this soon.

  2. #2



    You really need to get this out, preferably with a trusted family member or a (very) close friend. Venting and crying it all out will help you.

    The only other thing I can tell you is that none of this is your fault. There is nothing for you to be ashamed of (which can't exactly be said for that thing...).

  3. #3


    Talk it out with someone trusted and caring, yes, but do not vent it out via emotions. The best option for that is the bottle it up inside. venting isn't the best, because it forms habits, and such. We don't want you to cry every time you think of that moment in your lifetime.

    Now, going with stated above, I'm sure you have a close family member you could speak to about all of this. Someone to make you feel safe and secure, right?
    They are your best option in times like this. :3

  4. #4


    Yeah, I third the idea of talking to somebody you trust about it.

    I really hope there is somebody in your life that you can trust enough with this.

    Don't worry so much about "getting over it". Anybody who tells somebody that he or she should just "get over" a traumatizing experience is a dick.

    But there are ways to cope - and what works for one person may not work for another. But keeping it bottled up inside rarely ever is one of the methods that works.

  5. #5


    I suspect it's worse for a girl to be molested, especially at such a young age, than a boy. Boys tend to "fool around" with each other, but if one of them is a bully and goes to far, then it becomes molesting and an attempt to control. I suspect that all molesters try to control their victims. They chose children for a variety of reasons. One is because of control, and another is because they can't relate to adults their age, and other adolescents their age. They may feel intimidated, or uncomfortable, so they pick on those smaller and unable to defend themselves. Obviously, I've been in this position on a number of occasions when I was a child. For what it's worth, I've forgiven them all. Perhaps it's my psychological problem, something that I've still not wanted to face, though I think I really have forgiven them. Forgiving gives you release from the demons.

    The larger problem is that it changed my orientation to sex and to those I relate to. Fortunately I discovered my wife who understands and accepts me as damaged goods. I don't want to give the wrong impression. I'm not very damaged, but my college years and several years after, when I was in my sexual prime were hell. It sent me to a psychiatrist when I was in college.

    I think you need to deal with this in a way that gives you liberation. Telling a parent might accomplish that. Parents have a way of becoming very angry, however, so consider that as well. If you don't think they can deal with it, there are many different kinds of therapists and people willing to listen who charge little or nothing at all. We have a professional therapist that meets with people in our church and she charges nothing. That is her gift to God and to humanity. You need to find someone like her. My heart goes out to you, from someone who drank himself into oblivion and would wake up to find another guy on top of him. Men are pigs. I should know...haha.

  6. #6


    I have to fourth the suggestion to talk about it with someone you trust. And I agree that bottling up emotions rarely leads to anything productive. When I try to it tends to build up until I 'snap' about something unrelated, usually on someone who hasn't done anything.

  7. #7


    The thing is: I did tell a good portion of my family about it. But, they considered the "act" to be barely bad at all.

    So, talking to them is horrible. Except with my little brother, whom I will talk to about this incident when I think I'm ready.

    Right now I just want to cuddle with my Teddy, and I truly appreciate everyone's support/advice.

    You guys/gurls are wonderful! Thank you so much!

  8. #8


    Hang in there! I have to say, i have never been molested, but i have read stories of people having this experience. It must be awful!Too bad your familly is not being supportive. If you ever want to chat, than pm me!

    You are talented
    You are beautiful
    Every night , someone thinks about you before they go to sleep
    At least fifteen people in this world love you.
    The only reason someone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you
    There are at least two people in this world that would die for you
    You mean the world to someone.
    Someone that you don't even know
    When you make the biggest mistake ever,something good comes from it.
    When you think the world has turned its back on you, take *a look.
    Always remember the compliments you've received.
    Forget the rude remarks
    Those people are just jealous of your awesomeness*
    Hope this brightens your day!!!!

  9. #9


    Quote Originally Posted by StrawberryRaven View Post
    The thing is: I did tell a good portion of my family about it. But, they considered the "act" to be barely bad at all.
    Oh man, that's not cool It shouldn't matter whether it seems big or small in their eyes -- they should consider it a big deal because it was a big deal to you. If you're still in High School, does you school have a counselor you could talk to? They're not always the best, but they might take it more seriously than your family does.

  10. #10


    It's probably a good idea to talk to someone about the incidents of the past, just to get it off your chest and find some (more) strength in dealing this the past and that dude. THe situation sucks that you can't really do anything in terms of legal punishment for that guy - it would have given you some peace of mind to know that he has also suffered for his crimes.

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