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Thread: Easiest Way To Scoot Into Adulthood?

  1. #1

    Default Easiest Way To Scoot Into Adulthood?

    I'm coming to terms with the fact that I am no longer just a "kid", but a legal adult. Though it's not easy.

    It's actually quite scary.

    So, what should I tell myself in order to make this adjustment easier? I'll always be a kid at heart, but with all these new responsibilities (driving, working), I've felt a little more than overwhelmed.

    Thanks!

  2. #2

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    I hate to say it, but there is no easy way. There are no shortcuts to adulthood, you just have to knuckle down and do it. No one really likes working or paying bills, or doing a lot of those other adult things, but with work and bills and the other things comes a freedom of action you've never known as a child. You can do pretty much any goddamn thing you want. I find this rather liberating at times. Don't worry, it's very normal to feel overwhelmed when situations change. Just take it one day at a time. If you find you're having trouble getting things done, try making to-do lists. It works very well for me, I make it a point to check it at least once a day.

  3. #3

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    The joy of adulthood is that you're free to be you. As long as you keep the bills paid, you're not beholden to the wishes of others. If you want a nursery in your house, make one. If you want to buy diapers, do it. Being an adult is wonderful. You're old enough and legally able to enjoy what there is to enjoy. And think, as an adult, wearing diapers and being babyish is that much more rewarding.

  4. #4

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    Being an adult does have its responsibilities like work and bills, but equally provides the benefits to do what you want.

    I'll admit, the responsibility aspect is daunting... still drag my feet whenever I got a bill to pay, and would rather spend it on other things to my fancy. I'm still buckling down on myself on such duties and I just turned 24. >.< But afterwards, what money is left is there to help you do whatever you enjoy.

    Like my brother says, "Sometimes you have a job you don't like to help you do the things you do like."

    Another adult perk is having a place to yourself... personally, that hasn't happen to me yet but will soon have my room when I move out of my current apartment into a new one. When that happens, I can be free to do whatever I like and have a personal closet to store everything. ^__^

  5. #5

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    I would be very happy to report how much I have grown up in only the past year or two. Instead, I will try to relate this to you as best I can.


    I'm coming to terms with the fact that I am no longer just a "kid", but a legal adult.
    There are many reasons that we would have to change our sense of self, or our self-image. When you leave grade school to become a high schooler, you are forced to accept the new role. It's really rather silly to believe you're still in grade school when you are not only NOT THERE, but ARE IN another building entirely. Why is it difficult to accept that you are an adult?


    Though it's not easy. It's actually quite scary.
    The difficulty lies in the subtlety of time. With respect to age, it's hard to say when you become an adult. Does it mean sexual maturity (age 14), independence (age 14-18), full legal rights (age 21) or the attainment of a place in society or family (age 25-50)? For those who have a reason to remain children, there is a natural reluctance to grow up, especially with the attached stigmas of being grouchy, unmagical, single-minded, worriful and overworked. You've been told throughout childhood to "grow up", but it is only now that you feel like you have to make the choice, even though there was no big contextual change (like transitioning from school to school.)


    I'll always be a kid at heart, but with all these new responsibilities (driving, working), I've felt a little more than overwhelmed.
    Obviously, these responsibilities are things you must do, or else you will be in a world of trouble. If you must do it, why not accept it? Ask yourself very seriously what is preventing you from accepting the reality of adulthood. Confront those objections by writing them out on paper or here on the forum. By giving voice to a contradiction, you feel embarrassed for having the thought, and the thought will disappear on its own.


    So, what should I tell myself in order to make this adjustment easier?
    Another problem is that you do not quite know what you are adjusting to. "Adult" is a rather big package, and I said before, it's rather vague too. Figure out what being an adult means to you. Your responsibilities allow you to maintain your current living situation, but what else is it doing for you? Do you have a life goal that you are working towards, and are your responsibilities helping to make that goal a reality? For example:

    I have two goals, and one of them is to raise a healthy family. By creating a burning, intense, white-hot passion for making this goal a reality, I realized the steps I needed to take: I need a romantic life, I need to become a family man, and I need lots of money. From one goal sprang three. To make money I need a job, but to have a romantic life I need time. Thus, I realized that I would need to own a business where money is generated independent of my personal time. I must become a businessman. The "businessman" role is similar to the "family man" role in that both are alpha males and must make informed, responsible decisions, so I would be making progress there too. So my goals look like this so far: Family <- [Romance, Family Man <- Alpha Male, Wealthy <- Businessman <- Alpha Male]

    When I look at the future, it is impossible to see myself failing. Rather, I always see myself succeeding because I have chosen a clearly-defined goal to achieve, something which will always propel me forward. As long as I keep this goal in mind, I am mentally willing to accept any roles that I must occupy along the way. This is how I came to terms with adulthood.

    "A boy has the right to dream. There are endless possibilities stretched out before him. What awaits him down the path, he will then have to choose. The boy doesn't always know. At some point the boy then becomes an adult, and learns what he was able to become. Joy and sadness forever will accompany this. He is confronted with a choice. When this happens, does he bid his past farewell in his heart? Once a boy becomes an adult, he can no longer go back to being a boy. The boy is now a man. Only one thing can be said: a boy has the right to dream, for those endless possibilities are stretched out before him. We must remember, all men were once boys."
    --Outlaw Star

    Edit:


    Quote Originally Posted by KittyHeart View Post
    Like my brother says, "Sometimes you have a job you don't like to help you do the things you do like."
    He's onto something. Acclaimed inspirational speaker Zig Ziglar says, "When you do the things you oughta do when you oughta do them, the day will come when you do the things you want to do, when you want to do them."
    Last edited by DLGrif; 14-Dec-2010 at 19:22.

  6. #6

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    Another adult perk is having a place to yourself... personally, that hasn't happen to me yet but will soon have my room when I move out of my current apartment into a new one. When that happens, I can be free to do whatever I like and have a personal closet to store everything. ^__^

  7. #7

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    Hang in there Strawberry. It sounds like you've got the important part down already, still feeling like a kid

    A lot of adults are just big kids anyway. Yeah theres more responsibility that develops as time goes on, and also more choices and freedom. Even after jobs, college, bills, and several things that would probably fall under the category 'adult stuff' I still don't feel like one. Just an older kid with more choices. I've had some of my best experiences on this side of 18 to be honest. I don't know if that helps or not, but I wouldn't worry about scooting through that transition too much. There's really not much of a transition to scoot through, time goes by and things progress.

  8. #8

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    Just keep in mind, growing older is mandatory, growing up is optional

  9. #9

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    There's a line between adult and kid? I never noticed. Sure, I have more responsibilities, but only because I my lifestyle requires them. I do like my independance. It's really not such a chore when you're doing to accomplish a goal and life how you like.

  10. #10

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    I think about this daily.. then I think about batman, and ninjas battling... battling robots.

    The answer for me was just to deal with things as they came up, as was mentioned before the good and bad part is that now things are entirely up to you, or at least if you are going to university, they will be more and more so until you are completely financially independent. Really, I still can't believe people trust me to do anything but you'll find a way to make things work, so long as you're responsible. You can set bills up to be auto-paid on time, get robots to clean your house, etc.

    Otherwise one big thing is that you don't get into trouble for trouble's sake. No one explicitly punishes you for not doing something or doing something wrong(unless what you did is illegal) but whatever you do, you just have to pay the actual price of whatever the consequences of your actions are. A prime example is that if you don't clean your room, no one's gonna yell at you, but it's hard to get anything done in your place, and no one will want to come over because your place is all messy and gross, or if you have roommates they'll toss you out the first chance they get. In a way, a lot of things you've learned as a kid really click after you're thrown out on your own and you're doing stuff entirely for your own benefit, rather than fear of arbitrary punishment.

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