I think I am coming to terms with the reality that I very well may never experience a diaper change as an adult, nor have an intimate relationship with another man who shares in this fetish.
A decade ago, when my hormones were still raging, that thought would have been mortifying. I thought that if a relationship with me were to work, it would have to be with a "Daddy" - nothing else would do.
But now, I realize I would rather have a relationship centered on compatibility in most areas other than on any given fetish. I want to be in a relationship where I can put my strengths on the table, instead of the zero-sum situation that I once was hoping to inflict upon a "Daddy" figure.
Does this mean I'm finally learning how to be an adult? I certainly hope so. It took long enough.
My boyfriend accepts my fetish, but it's not his fetish and he would rather not participate in anything to do with it. I'd rather keep him for the long haul than to put my fetish on the foreground and lose all.
Living life thinking with my heart, mind and soul instead of with my hormones - it's a lot more rewarding that way.