Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 19

Thread: so there is this girl.

  1. #1

    Default so there is this girl.

    ill go ahead and apologize if this was answered in another post. i dont think i found anything that answered this question. anyway there is this girl i like and she likes me too. we are not actually exclusive yet but its starting to head that way. well she is asking me a whole bunch of question about sex, past relationships, etc. mostly because i think she got burned a couple of times by the wrong men. she asked me if i had any fetishes. well i have yet to tell her about my diapers. i realize that i am going to have to tell her eventually. im just wondering if i should wait a bit to tell her so she can get to see that im well adjusted individual despite my diapers or should i come out with it. im kind of afraid she is a little bit fragile and it may cause her to freak.

    thanks

  2. #2

    Default

    It sounds like there are about two distinct possibilities for where she's coming from. One, she wants to get to know you better. Two, she wants advance warning if there's something.

    I'm curious what exactly you told her when she asked. Did you lie or did you skirt the issue? The fact you're here asking for advice suggests to me you weren't forthcoming. The first issue is, what are you looking for in this relationship? Is it just a fling, or do you want the possibility of it going long-term? If you don't want this relationship to be permanent, who cares? Tell her whatever. If you want the possibility of it being long term, the game changes. I think you need to strike a balance between honest and reserved. You'll have to tell her sooner or later, which means lying will just make the situation worse in the long run. Of course, you could hide it forever, but look up some of the threads people have made because they're in committed relationships and can't come clean about liking diapers. It's hell.

    Now that doesn't mean you should sit her down and have the talk. Like I said, there's a balance to strike. Forgive me if this sounds condescending, but by your own admission the relationship isn't even exclusive yet. I think that she needs to be willing to commit to you if she wants to know your most personal secrets. That doesn't mean lie and say you don't have a fetish. It means you can indicate to her that yes there's something, but you don't feel you're at a point in your relationship where you want to talk about it yet. Tell her you need some more commitment and time. If she can't respect that, then she doesn't respect you. It means she cares about what you are, not who you are.

    $0.02

  3. #3

    Default

    I think it's a bit early for that. A diaper fetish is really quite a personal thing, and let's face it, pretty damned odd! If you're not completely exclusive, super super close and trust her 100% then my answer will always be no, wait.

  4. #4

    Default

    As fetishes go, I think diapers are pretty safe even if it is a bit further off the beaten track. From what you said, I think she is concerned about things like bondage which can be painful. We can't possibly tell you how to discuss this with her, but it would be better for both of you if you discuss it early in the relationship rather than later. It also might be a good idea to send her some educational material about it instead of saying "I like diapers"

  5. #5

    Default

    My advice is to tell the other person jus as soon as you reasonably can, and if she's asked about fetishes, then you should, by all means, tell her. Having tried both ways, I find that it's better to get it ou there early. It shows that you're forthright and honest, it shows respect for the other person, that you're willing to let them in on deep parts of yourself, and it also gets it out there early, so that if diapers or whatever are too much for the other person or past their limits, they won't waste a bunc of time chasing after something/someone that's not going to work out.

    Treat it like it's completely normal, as it actually is for a well-adjusted abdl, and the chances are the other person will take the cue from you. And, if it doesn't work out, like I said, it saves both the other person and you a lot of time, invested emotion, and heartache.

    Best of luck either way!

  6. #6

    Default

    I told my female friend, and it worked well... Locutus gave great advice, I actually used the wiki here as my source!

  7. #7

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by NightFox View Post
    It sounds like there are about two distinct possibilities for where she's coming from. One, she wants to get to know you better. Two, she wants advance warning if there's something.
    Actually there is a third possibility...perhaps she has a fetish of her own and she's trying to broach the subject with you by asking if you have any first...perhaps you should counter with..."Do you have a fetish?"

    -Gus

  8. #8

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Angusmac View Post
    Actually there is a third possibility...perhaps she has a fetish of her own and she's trying to broach the subject with you by asking if you have any first...
    Perhaps, but I really doubt it given the way the OP framed the situation. It seems to be that she's screening for things that caused her trouble in past relationships. Not many guys take issue if a girl likes to get freaky between the sheets. A guy having a weird kink that a girl can't deal with seems way more likely than a girl having a weird kink that her guy can't deal with.

  9. #9

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by NightFox View Post
    A guy having a weird kink that a girl can't deal with seems way more likely than a girl having a weird kink that her guy can't deal with.
    Then it might be a good idea to fish for the information on her past hangups if any...what are the odds she was dating another guy who was into diapers?

    -Gus

  10. #10

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Angusmac View Post
    Then it might be a good idea to fish for the information on her past hangups if any...what are the odds she was dating another guy who was into diapers?
    My kneejerk reaction is "poor." Then again, I know a guy who had three serious girlfriends in a row who- in the course of each sequential relationship with him- decided they were gay. So it's not unreasonable to consider she's just happens to keep hitting home runs.

    Of course, it's possible there were fetish issues with past boyfriends that weren't diaper-related. Maybe they liked bondage- dom or sub- or smoking or latex or just some other non-vanilla 'thing' she couldn't get used to. I'm not trying to say that she's has past boyfriends into diapers so much as she's had past boyfriends with extremely particular kinks while she just wants hot, typical, "shove it in me"- sex, and she couldn't deal with things not-mainstream. Or possibly that she just wants very little sex. I imagine that if you have a sexual fetish, you also look for opportunities to engage in it.

    Of course, there's the possibility that something's happening and somehow she gravitates toward people like us. Or people in general with colorful sexual lives in varied ways. I'm not sure how likely that is. It just doesn't strike me as being more likely than the aforementioned. Then again, I could be totally wrong. It's how I see things from where I stand.

Similar Threads

  1. Girl in PA
    By audrianna81 in forum Greetings / Introductions
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 22-Mar-2010, 14:07
  2. Shy girl
    By Spica in forum Greetings / Introductions
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 31-Aug-2009, 11:54
  3. Going out with a girl
    By diaperedteenager in forum Off-topic
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 19-Mar-2009, 06:10
  4. Please help me tell this girl to go away..
    By Drosera in forum Off-topic
    Replies: 38
    Last Post: 02-Feb-2008, 21:41

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
ADISC.org - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community.
ADISC.org is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.