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Thread: My story (and saying hello)

  1. #1

    Cool My story (and saying hello)

    I've been a DL for as long as I can remember. As a very young child, I would steal diapers from the neighbor or, gasp, pick out used diapers from their trashcan. Eww, yuk! I know, it sounds gross, but little boys don't always think about things like germs; and I never, ever would have played with a poopy diaper. I just wanted to wear diapers so bad and wearing wet ones out of the trash was the only way to do so. I did ask my parents to buy me diapers, but, well, I'm sure you can figure out how that went.

    Anyway, I've been involved in the online AB/DL community since the very early 1990's - starting with ASFD (well before spam destroyed USENET). This name, "InPampers", has been used by me since that time. Many will know me from AOL with that name. I am thankful it was available on ADISC. I gave it up a long time ago, during a period of doubt and distance from the ABDL community.

    I am still active on BBIF and on Daily Diapers, though the latter seems somewhat immature despite its longevity online. My email address there is different - just look for yeoldediapers. I do miss some of the forgotten forums of old, such as ASFD and ABY.com; and of course, DPF, but c'est la vie I guess. Change is the only constant.

    One place I enjoyed, and actually started oh so long ago was "2b-incont-l" on Yahoo Groups (actually, I think it was "eGroups", which was then acquired by Yahoo in 2000). I started and ran the group for a few years, but school, work, and life took their toll. I handed the group over to someone else and left. When I tried to return a couple years later, the group had been closed by Yahoo. I never learned what had happened. The group's premise was simple, discussing the concept of intentionally becoming incontinent.

    Even now, this is a decisive subject, outright inflaming to some; but I maintain a position in life that each person is responsible for themselves. So long as one can appreciate the consequences, it is their choice to make. Nevertheless, while I do respect the dissenting opinion, I have no use for the instigators. Frankly, I am an adult and have freewill, I will choose my own path and believe others should be permitted to do the same.

    What I do have use for, and enjoy, is thoughtful, respectful discussion and argument on the issue; in depth discussion on how to accomplish ones goals; and stories from those who have succeeded in their efforts (and the good and bad sides of life after "success"). Such should be well rounded and informative, such that all manner of persons reading these discussions can grasp the realities from the fantasy.

    I did spend two extended periods of my life in diapers 24/7. The first time was for just more than a year and the second was about six-months. I had hoped to become incontinent in that time, but to no avail. I gave up; but my giving up was only in my failure to achieve my goal, the 'untraining' and hypnosis methods did not work for me. In my lifetime, I hope to try and succeed in this.

    Since then, I made a similar effort, but for nighttime only. In this, I am successful, now having to wear diapers at night. This does make my lifestyle more difficult, but I manage just fine. I accomplished this almost three years ago. It has had its challenges, but I was ready for them and I do accept them; and after these three years, I wake up with a smile when I wake up wet. For what it is worth, I have slept better in the past three years than in the many years before that.

    Given the difficulties of vagabonding and traveling whilst needing diapers, I have not sought to try going 24/7 again just yet. It is hard enough to get diapers in some places that to be successful would necessitate changing my lifestyle in a way I do not yet wish to. It isn't difficult to carry a week or more supply with me, but a weeks supply with 24/7 use would equal a months supply for nighttime only.

    When I am flying, I have made a commitment to myself, and mostly kept it, to always fly diapered. Be it flying an aircraft, or as a passenger in the back. On a recent trip home, this did have some minor consequence when dealing with our lovely TSA; but once the diaper was discovered and, um, investigated, the TSO quickly moved on to the rest of his assault (while I say that, let me also say that as he was performing his assault on my dignity and our Constitution, as his leadership demands, he was still very composed and professional).

    Diapers, incontinence (or desire for), and such do not make my life complete. They are only a part of it. Granted, they are an important part for sure. As much as I've wanted to need diapers, I've also tried to not want them.

    The longest I've been able to abstain is one-year, but even in that year I was conflicted; and by the end I accepted my desires as fate and learned to enjoy my attachment. I have had the desire to use diapers since I was taken out of them; and upon reflection, I became aware that this was integral to my life. To remove the desire would break a part of me, and I liked that part of me, so I embraced it and have been far happier since.

    There is much more to my life besides my interest in diapers. As much as I've written so far, this may be hard to believe, but as important as diapers are in my life, they capitalize only a small part of it. I have a career in medicine (allied health), which certainly keeps me busy; but I do have a life beyond just work (although my staff may disagree).

    I am an avid photographer, shooting on the Canon DSLR platform. I have been fortunate to have a few of my photos published; and though this was nothing grand or outstanding, I certainly enjoyed the day I saw them in print. I am a private pilot, though I am "low time" and inexperienced, I do fly as much as I can. Flying gives a sense of freedom from the world, an escape from terra firma and a respite from my 'normal' life.

    Interestingly, flying has afforded me opportunity to wear diapers with legit purpose. When flying on a longer cross-country, stopping to pee is not so easy. Some folks use a urinal bottle, and some have iron clad bladders. Trying to pee into a bottle distracts my attention from flying the plane, which is haphazard and possibly dangerous; and having a full bladder, albeit iron clad or not, is very uncomfortable and also distracting. Diapers are a legitimate option when flying a small plane.

    I am also a traveler; a vagabond with no fixed address (save for a PO Box somewhere) and worn out shoes. I will always be a traveler, even when I've settled down. I do so wish to find a woman to make my spouse, and to build a family with; but even then I will still be a traveler, just with little travelers with whom to share the journey. If anything, perhaps my only regret is not having done so already.

    I do work a lot and I do play a lot, but I am not wealthy in the financial sense (I do well enough for my desire), though I do consider myself to be 'rich', but only in so far as what my life experiences have earned me. Presently, I am in the Middle East. From here, who knows. I only hope that good fortune continues to find me wherever my journey leads. As some advice for those so inclined, this journey is the destination.

    A wise man once told me that, "there was nowhere to go but everywhere ..." (Jack Kerouac, On the Road). I believe this, and here I am...

    Cheers!

  2. #2
    dprdinky

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    Welcome. Sounds like you've been around. I'm a member of the BBIF too. I've read some of your posts. Look forward to your postings here too.

  3. #3

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    A very good introduction (new members that have not introduced themselves take note!) Welcome to ADISC. This is a very active community for may more reasons than just the diaper thing. As you have expressed interests in flying, traveling and photography, I am sure you will find lots of thins to talk with others about here.

    I also shoot on the Canon platform. I grew up with Nikon SLRs, but the Canon was a better deal and seemed to be getting better overall reviews for the money when I purchased it. I have been quite pleased with the performance, and have had some of my stuff picked up by a couple of websites (CNN, Steve's DigiCams, etc.) I have a dream in the back of my mind to be published in National Geographic one day, but currently don't have the time to devote to such a dream with all the realities of life.

    Hope to hear a lot from you on here!

  4. #4

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    First, this is a great introduction! Welcome to ADISC! (I mention this below, but I thought I'd put it upfront here, as I have a few comments before that just to help you avoid some pitfalls new members sometimes fall into.)



    Quote Originally Posted by inpampers View Post
    I've been a DL for as long as I can remember. As a very young child, I would steal diapers from the neighbor or, gasp, pick out used diapers from their trashcan. Eww, yuk! I know, it sounds gross, but little boys don't always think about things like germs; and I never, ever would have played with a poopy diaper. I just wanted to wear diapers so bad and wearing wet ones out of the trash was the only way to do so. I did ask my parents to buy me diapers, but, well, I'm sure you can figure out how that went.
    I never asked my parents to buy diapers because I knew they'd say no; but I did also take used diapers years ago - not from neighbors but occasionally a trash can in a store. :P The stupid things I did in my youth...



    Quote Originally Posted by inpampers View Post
    Anyway, I've been involved in the online AB/DL community since the very early 1990's - starting with ASFD (well before spam destroyed USENET). This name, "InPampers", has been used by me since that time. Many will know me from AOL with that name. I am thankful it was available on ADISC. I gave it up a long time ago, during a period of doubt and distance from the ABDL community.
    If you feel that lots of people will recognize you from your name, then I suppose it is understandable that you would want to keep it. However, *B/DL names are generally frowned upon. We already know you are most likely interested in diapers, so we prefer you pick a name that represent something unique about yourself (my username, for example, is my favorite TV show.) If you are having trouble coming up with a non-*B/DL name, this wiki article has some good advice.



    Quote Originally Posted by inpampers View Post
    One place I enjoyed, and actually started oh so long ago was "2b-incont-l" on Yahoo Groups (actually, I think it was "eGroups", which was then acquired by Yahoo in 2000). I started and ran the group for a few years, but school, work, and life took their toll. I handed the group over to someone else and left. When I tried to return a couple years later, the group had been closed by Yahoo. I never learned what had happened. The group's premise was simple, discussing the concept of intentionally becoming incontinent.
    I recall hearing about a number of AB/DL Yahoo groups getting shut down for violations of Yahoo groups' Terms of Service. I assume this is because *B/DL is often a sexual fetish and may have violated a rule against 18+ content.



    Quote Originally Posted by inpampers View Post
    Even now, this is a decisive subject, outright inflaming to some; but I maintain a position in life that each person is responsible for themselves. So long as one can appreciate the consequences, it is their choice to make. Nevertheless, while I do respect the dissenting opinion, I have no use for the instigators. Frankly, I am an adult and have freewill, I will choose my own path and believe others should be permitted to do the same.

    What I do have use for, and enjoy, is thoughtful, respectful discussion and argument on the issue; in depth discussion on how to accomplish ones goals; and stories from those who have succeeded in their efforts (and the good and bad sides of life after "success"). Such should be well rounded and informative, such that all manner of persons reading these discussions can grasp the realities from the fantasy.

    I did spend two extended periods of my life in diapers 24/7. The first time was for just more than a year and the second was about six-months. I had hoped to become incontinent in that time, but to no avail. I gave up; but my giving up was only in my failure to achieve my goal, the 'untraining' and hypnosis methods did not work for me. In my lifetime, I hope to try and succeed in this.
    From your post, you indicate you tried 24/7 for a long period of time, so I assume you have experienced first-hand (most of) the disadvantages and advantages of incontinence. I certainly can appreciate your desire to have thoughtful conversations, as that is one of the site's missions. However, in regards to this specific topic, it is against the rules to discuss specific methods to become incontinent.



    Quote Originally Posted by Rules!
    Do not promote self-destructive things, like self harm or drug use.
    This includes discussing: Unhealthy or dangerous methods used to 'go' in diapers.
    --Section Break--



    Quote Originally Posted by inpampers View Post
    When I am flying, I have made a commitment to myself, and mostly kept it, to always fly diapered. Be it flying an aircraft, or as a passenger in the back. On a recent trip home, this did have some minor consequence when dealing with our lovely TSA; but once the diaper was discovered and, um, investigated, the TSO quickly moved on to the rest of his assault (while I say that, let me also say that as he was performing his assault on my dignity and our Constitution, as his leadership demands, he was still very composed and professional).
    ah...the TSA...I love the irony of the word "assault." You may enjoy this discussion here.



    Quote Originally Posted by inpampers View Post
    Diapers, incontinence (or desire for), and such do not make my life complete. They are only a part of it.

    ...

    There is much more to my life besides my interest in diapers. As much as I've written so far, this may be hard to believe, but as important as diapers are in my life, they capitalize only a small part of it.
    I am glad to see that about half of your introduction contains your non-AB/DL interests. Many people's introductions focus solely on AB/DL, which makes it hard to get to know a person.



    Quote Originally Posted by inpampers View Post
    I am an avid photographer, shooting on the Canon DSLR platform. I have been fortunate to have a few of my photos published; and though this was nothing grand or outstanding, I certainly enjoyed the day I saw them in print.
    Cool! I've done a bit of photography, nothing too advanced, though, as I'm not very interested in the technical aspects. Rather, I like to be able to capture the memories of places I've been and things I've done. Anyways, there is a photography if you'd like to post more on photos, cameras and such: Photography Group - ADISC.org



    Quote Originally Posted by inpampers View Post
    I am also a traveler; a vagabond with no fixed address (save for a PO Box somewhere) and worn out shoes. I will always be a traveler, even when I've settled down. I do so wish to find a woman to make my spouse, and to build a family with; but even then I will still be a traveler, just with little travelers with whom to share the journey. If anything, perhaps my only regret is not having done so already.
    I have not traveled much, but I hope to do so someday (probably after I graduate from college.) What are some of your favorite places you've visited?
    Last edited by HogansHeroes; 05-Dec-2010 at 03:20.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by closet dl View Post
    A very good introduction (new members that have not introduced themselves take note!) Welcome to ADISC. This is a very active community for may more reasons than just the diaper thing. As you have expressed interests in flying, traveling and photography, I am sure you will find lots of thins to talk with others about here.
    Thank you for your kind words. I have read the forums for some time, a sandbagger and voyeur into others conversations. While the topics we discuss may seem infantile to some, they are still important to us; and it is important for me to be able to have a mature, reasoned conversation (or even an argument, provided it is civil). I found this on ADISC while I felt it was (sadly) lacking elsewhere. So I decided to join and be a part of what I've enjoyed reading.



    Quote Originally Posted by closet dl View Post
    I also shoot on the Canon platform. I grew up with Nikon SLRs, but the Canon was a better deal and seemed to be getting better overall reviews for the money when I purchased it. I have been quite pleased with the performance, and have had some of my stuff picked up by a couple of websites (CNN, Steve's DigiCams, etc.) I have a dream in the back of my mind to be published in National Geographic one day, but currently don't have the time to devote to such a dream with all the realities of life.
    When I was in the throws of adolescence, I shot with an old time Minolta 35mm. I shot in B&W (Kodak TMax 100 and 400), and was told I had a knack for it per my instructors. High School was great for me in that regard (not so much in others). The film and the darkroom were free for me to use...

    After High School, however, I had to pay for things like film; and I certainly didn't have enough money to have my own darkroom; and this meant two things: First, I had to pay for development; and second, I had no control over development and had to take what was given to me. This was before Photoshop (and digital cameras, for that matter). Sadly, it fell away from me.

    Almost ten years later, I had a decent little digital point and shoot, but didn't fully recall my past passion or desire; but then I was looking at some of the photos I'd made with that skimpy little camera and my coworker peaked over my shoulder. While he was now in a completely different career, he was also a seasoned, well accomplished photographer (not quite Nat Geo, but he did make a few runs in Billboard and other periodicals).

    I didn't yet know he was a photographer, either; but he told me. He also picked out a few of my photographs and started to talk about their composition, lighting, etc. Elements I had gotten right, but I thought with luck. We talked, I learned of his background, and in that single conversation the long extinguished flame was kindled and sparked back to life. Over the next few months what was a smolder became a flame, and I began to remember what I had long forgotten, my love for photography and the art of photographic composition.

    He had just bought a Canon 10D, but still had his D60 that he wasn't using much. He wanted to keep that as a backup, but given the spark was now a raging fire, he sold me the D60 for a dream and the rest, as they say, is history...

    It is by chance or providence that I landed on the Canon platform, and I am thankful for that - there is no doubt that Canon has the best glass around; but in so far as being a good, creative photographer, I believe the machine is almost (but not quite) as important as the person behind it. Nikon is a formidable product, and I would have been a comfortable and proud photog to have landed there; but once I bought the D60 and begun buying lenses and other accouterments, it only made sense to stick with Canon.

    I admit, I am now a little biased toward Canon, but this is just brand loyalty and satisfaction. I hear the exact same comments when I talk to those who shoot with Nikon, or Sony, or Panasonic, or any other brand. At the end of the day, the most important camera is the one in the mind, to conceptualize and then visualize the shot; then the machine is only a tool to realize what has already been made.

    Anyway, I will include one of my compositions below, though I won't be putting much of my work here. I would love to talk about it some more, perhaps in PM or in the other sections mentioned...

    One question, have you ever had the opportunity to go to FotoFusion? It is held every January in Delray Beach, Florida. There are training sessions, lectures, portfolio reviews, etc. I've learned a lot there, and while I appreciate each person who has helped me advance, I will name a few standouts such as George DeWolfe, Monte Jones, Ben Willmore, Vincent Versace, Gerd Ludwig, et al. This is a highly recommended conference to attend.



    Quote Originally Posted by closet dl View Post
    Hope to hear a lot from you on here!
    I have been very quite in the AB/DL community for the past several years. This has a lot to do with where I lived as I wasn't readily able to go to such places that were outright banned (with possible jail time). I don't live in that particular place any longer, though where I am is still a bit restrictive. Nevertheless, I have my means to speak in the community without raising the attention of the censor; and I hope to exploit this means to become more active once again.

    Cheers!



    Quote Originally Posted by HogansHeroes View Post
    First, this is a great introduction! Welcome to ADISC! (I mention this below, but I thought I'd put it upfront here, as I have a few comments before that just to help you avoid some pitfalls new members sometimes fall into.)
    I'll take these into consideration, and thank you for the compliment!

    I'll address your specific concerns below.




    Quote Originally Posted by HogansHeroes View Post
    The stupid things I did in my youth...
    This is a common sentiment that transends generations. As a child, we are born with an empty bag of life experiance and a full bag of luck. The goal is to fill the bag of experiance before emptying the bag of luck.....




    Quote Originally Posted by HogansHeroes View Post
    If you feel that lots of people will recognize you from your name, then I suppose it is understandable that you would want to keep it.
    There is a simple story behind the name, and it goes directly back to my experiances as a child. I wore Pampers as a baby, and the neighbors used Pampers on their kids, which I then subsequently acquired. I had wanted to be "in Pampers" ever since, but of course this wasn't to be permitted; but in name I can achieve that which I had so wished to realize.

    While wearing real Pampers has remained a fantasy, adult diapers were real and could be easily acquired; and in early adolescence, I did. I discovered the trial size of Depends for a dollar at the local pharmacy. Two depends diapers for $1 - even I could afford that with my paper route. Not more than a year later, a friend and I went to visit his grandmothers house. She used Attends, but not what we know now as Attend. These were the older, Proctor & Gamble, made plastic Attends that smelled like Pampers and used the same plastic backsheet.

    Those became my diaper of choice for my teenage years. When I chose my screenname, it was because I was still using the "big version of Pampers"; but I've never stopped wishing I could have a real Pampers diaper that would fit me. Even now, that fantasy is often relived in daydreams.

    I took the name back now because of the nostalgia, and because it was available. It was not for the recognition, not even a little bit; but for those who would recognize me, then I would enjoy the opportunity to reconnect.




    Quote Originally Posted by HogansHeroes View Post
    I recall hearing about a number of AB/DL Yahoo groups getting shut down for violations of Yahoo groups' Terms of Service. I assume this is because *B/DL is often a sexual fetish and may have violated a rule against 18+ content.
    I don't know what the cause for it being shut down was. It may have been closed by Yahoo just as much as it may have been closed by the moderator I turned it over to. While under my leadership, it was flagged from creation as"18+ only", membership was moderated (though posting was not); and although discussions were not censored, those centered on self-harm, medications or drugs, or even improperly ontained but physician directed were discouraged. Conversations about diapers, other AB/DL themes, etc. were off-topic and rare at best. Regardless of what the cause was, the group is long since gone and a folk tale to some.

    The method I advocated at the time was medically driven, involving physician and psychiatric oversight and guidance, and completed as a step-wise process. To simplify the discussion, the process can be likened to that which a transgendered person would have to go through before gender-reassignment surgery could be performed (live the lifestyle; mental health evaluation and clearance; medical oversight and determination of fitness to proceed).

    Among many (but not all) in the group, I was vehemently against the use of drugs or catheters, self-modification (harm), or any other "simple" fix. This is a complicated issue, fixing it is by definition a complicated solution. One that requires forethought, determination, and desire formed of sound mind and with knowledge of the hardships and trials one would face upon success. The disadvantages of being incontinent to any degree are many while any advantage is few.

    In contemplation, the only two advantages I could ever come upon were the need for diapers - which one can argue the need for diapers already exists without incontinence, as one afflicted with any such objectified attraction would need for self-satisfaction; and achieving perceived wholeness within (even by becoming incomplete outside). The latter was the strongest factor I could find; but this single driving force is the same force that drives those afflicted with GID or BIID (see below) - a need to feel whole, even if these means being physically incomplete or different.

    Anyway, any advocacy from me now is similar, save for the acceptance of the "diaper training" program professed elsewhere. While it didn't work for me (though I tried it before "it" existed as a written guide), others have had success; and it provides enough time and experience before success for a person to know if it is what they really want. Also, it does not involve physical harm (or worse) in those who choose to undertake it; and despite reports to the contrary, any such approach can be reversed with similar effort.

    Nevertheless, I still recommend seeking mental health evaluation before proceeding with any method, and this is to provide self-assurance and guidance so to avoid any regrets or unforeseen complications later.

    I view that those who truly seek incontinence, at the most basic and simplistic levels of the desire, share in common a similar feeling of disbelonging as would someone who is transgendered (GID), or more likely, someone suffering from body integrity identity disorder (BIID). From a non-secular viewpoint, modification of ones body for personal satisfaction is not necessarily harmful or unethical. If it were, then wearing earrings or having a tattoo be morally obtuse.




    Quote Originally Posted by HogansHeroes View Post
    From your post, you indicate you tried 24/7 for a long period of time, so I assume you have experienced first-hand (most of) the disadvantages and advantages of incontinence. I certainly can appreciate your desire to have thoughtful conversations, as that is one of the site's missions. However, in regards to this specific topic, it is against the rules (Link Removed) to discuss specific methods to become incontinent.
    Does this include non-harmful methods? Using a step-wise medical and mental health process, or diaper training? It is pertinent and advisable to discourage such commentary, both from an ethical and litigious stand point; but there are non-harmful methods that are possible.

    I've never advocated harming oneself, for any reason. I appreciate being a member of this forum, but above and before this forum, I have taken an oath not to harm or advocate harm in others. I hold licenses to practice medicine as an allied provider (without getting technical or divulging what I wish to keep private, I am not a doctor; but I function as an extension of a doctor and do prescribe medications, provide treatment, etc...). As such a practitioner, I could not advocate harming oneself without violating the oath I hold in high esteem.

    I value my ethos more than I value my skills as a practitioner; and I am quite accomplished in my career, progressing in my career far and above that of my peers, and wining the respect of the respected in the industry for my efforts. It isn't a contest, nor do I view it as such; but it is my dedication to my ethical positions and mastery of my skills that has given me the opportunity to advance to where I am.

    Having said that, there are ethical, non-harmful ways to achieve the goal of incontinence (if indeed a person so wishes).

    I won't dwell any longer on the topic; but as you may see, I am passionate about the subject. I welcome further discourse here or, as may be more appropriate, in PM.


    --Section Break--




    Quote Originally Posted by HogansHeroes View Post
    ah...the TSA...I love the irony of the word "assault." You may enjoy this discussion (LINK CUT).
    I've read that with enjoyment. I have been through hundreds of checkpoints in my life, in dozens of countries, and just as often diapered as not. Those times I wasn't diapered was circumstantial, and if I could have been, I would have been.

    I have been in some very mean places in the world, yet their track record in protecting aircraft was excellent, and they didn't even touch my junk when I went to board the plane.




    Quote Originally Posted by HogansHeroes View Post
    I am glad to see that about half of your introduction contains your non-AB/DL interests. Many people's introductions focus solely on AB/DL, which makes it hard to get to know a person.

    Cool! I've done a bit of photography, nothing too advanced, though, as I'm not very interested in the technical aspects. Rather, I like to be able to capture the memories of places I've been and things I've done. Anyways, there is a photography if you'd like to post more on photos, cameras and such: (Link Removed)
    You can bet I will check this out. I hope to find other photographers, pilots, and maybe even some vagabonds (or like you, vagabonds in training )




    Quote Originally Posted by HogansHeroes View Post
    I have not traveled much, but I hope to do so someday (probably after I graduate from college.) What are some of your favorite places you've visited?
    For those who wish to travel, the best advice I have is to simply start planing. Read about the places you would like to visit, imagine the trip there, look at others photos, and you will build the drive to make it happen. A second piece of advice is this, don't put it off until "next year". Travel while your young and can do the things you want to.

    Travel need not be expensive, either. Check out "Vagabonding" by Rolf Pott (available on Amazon, but he has a website too. Just look up "vagabonding" to find it).

    Best wishes!

    PS: Note that I removed the links... Not quite yet an "established contributor" so I am not allowed to post links.

    PPS: As much as I love to travel, and given I live now someplace "exotic", I would welcome the opportunity to meet up with someone abroad. I'm not nuts or seeking something inappropriate, but to have coffee in Istanbul, or currywurst in Berlin, or shawarma in Dubai would be nice.
    Last edited by Trevor; 05-Dec-2010 at 21:07. Reason: merging posts.

  6. #6

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    I haven't been to FotoFusion. I did get a chance to work a little bit with a NatGeo photographer this past summer when I went on a cruise in the Arctic. The light up there is fantastic, by the way.

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