I had to come to accept that I carried a lot of dirt around in my soul, and I had to keep running away from the consequences of my own actions, admit where I was wrong, and accept that while I was a victim many times in my youth, most of the time, as an adult, that was not from the case. I had a major part to play in my own misfortunes.
Most of the people who I perceived as being assholes over the years were really just handling the situation the best they knew how to.
There were some truly malicious folk I have encountered over the years, but those people are a minority in the world around me these days. And their maliciousness really had nothing to do with me, even if they forced it into my face. In many ways, I had a malicious streak within me - I kept on hurting myself just to get the attention of those around me. If that's not malicious, I don't know what is.
I had to face my wrongs, admit them where applicable, make sincere apologies where I still reasonably could, and then forgive myself. This process is pretty far from easy.
If one cannot forgive himself, how can he forgive another?
Everybody has some dirt on his soul, everybody has hurt another intentionally at some point in his life.
Granted, for some people, that dirt is a lot filthier than it is for others.
But I am not forgiving the truly malicious folk for their sake. I am forgiving them to release the power they continued to hold over me just by me thinking and obsessing angrily over the things they have done.
And it works.
So, I will end this armchair philosophy rant here.