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Thread: My fiancee wants me to go with her to MN this winter...

  1. #1

    Default My fiancee wants me to go with her to MN this winter...

    Alright Here is the short version. Fiancee wants me to pay 100 and she'll put in the rest for a plane ticket to MN so i could spend New Years with her. I don't' want her to because I find we could put the money to better use. I've also never spent New Years away from my giant family party. So Ill be missing...I kind of want to convince her to not take me but being honest doesn't work. I really just don't know what to do... I want to go but something in my body tells me not to go. The money will be needed for something. Any Advice?

    EDIT: She knows how important the family party is to her. Thing is her party is also important to her. She wants me to experience it before all her friends go her own way ya know? so it's a sticky situation....
    Last edited by dragsnick; 07-Nov-2010 at 17:58. Reason: Added info

  2. #2

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    does she know your family party is important to you?

  3. #3

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    If being honest to your fiance doesn't work, then you have some issues that still need to be worked out. Talk to her about your concerns about the money, and how the family party is important to you, maybe you'll be able to come to some sort of understanding.

  4. #4

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    Find out how important this trip is to her; if it's not that important to her, maybe you could convince her to stay with you. Otherwise you may have to convince her that your family party is as important to you as her trip is to her. Maybe you two can come to a compromise.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by 2cutecubs View Post
    does she know your family party is important to you?
    Yeah She knows how important it is to me....



    Quote Originally Posted by itsme View Post
    If being honest to your fiance doesn't work, then you have some issues that still need to be worked out. Talk to her about your concerns about the money, and how the family party is important to you, maybe you'll be able to come to some sort of understanding.
    Well thing is I know what she wants from me also.... and it's not asking much... I am talking to her abotu the money I still need to talk it out. But I'm sure something will happend. If worse comes to worse then well it's not a bad situation. I don't mind going so much as I mind the money that's being spent... (Money is tight on my end she has some to spare) but really... I just don't feel comfortable... I mean I feel like something will happend with "hidden" expenses or some shit like that..

  6. #6

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    Charlie and I had this problem as well, this year. Both of us wanted to spend Christmas with each other and with our families. Our families being 200 miles apart doesn't help.

    In the end we had to compromise, this Christmas I'll go down and be there with his family, since he didn't get to see much of them this year what with living with me over summer, and next year we'll spent Christmas at my house.

    My family are helping by compromising as well. We're holding a big family Christmas lunch a few days before Christmas, and before I travel to stay with Charlies family. Is there any way you can talk to either of your families and 'rearrange Christmas' as such.

    At the end of the day, getting seriously involved in a relationship means that this new person becomes your new family. It's important to make sure that everyone's happy, but a good true relationship will require compromise.

  7. #7

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    If you don't want to miss out on the party, why don't you ask you fiancÚ to fly over to where you are? You wouldn't miss the new years party, and he could enjoy it with you. It seems like a pretty simple solution. Money-wise, I have no advice for you there. If I knew what the money could be used for specificly, then I might be able to help.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by dragsnick View Post
    EDIT: She knows how important the family party is to her. Thing is her party is also important to her. She wants me to experience it before all her friends go her own way ya know? so it's a sticky situation....
    I consider that a very valid reason, plus you spent years passing new years eve with family and friends already. Plus this is a valid excuse for seeing the states, even if it's Minnesota. Plus your only playing 100 dollars for the plane tickets. Plus it seems your fiancee has made a fair bit of allowances and going to the US for a visit doesn't seem like much of a task/chore.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by Talula View Post
    Charlie and I had this problem as well, this year. Both of us wanted to spend Christmas with each other and with our families. Our families being 200 miles apart doesn't help.

    In the end we had to compromise, this Christmas I'll go down and be there with his family, since he didn't get to see much of them this year what with living with me over summer, and next year we'll spent Christmas at my house.

    My family are helping by compromising as well. We're holding a big family Christmas lunch a few days before Christmas, and before I travel to stay with Charlies family. Is there any way you can talk to either of your families and 'rearrange Christmas' as such.

    At the end of the day, getting seriously involved in a relationship means that this new person becomes your new family. It's important to make sure that everyone's happy, but a good true relationship will require compromise.
    Thing is she's only asking for this One time.... So If I go this winter I don't need to go ever again. I told her it's easier on me and her financially if the work up to it. (I can barely go this summer as is) So overall I'm in a bit of a pickle she kind of killed me whole money problem thing. She has extra money coming about enough to pay for me... but Thing is I don't have much and well I just don't feel right her paying for it all and on top of that I just doesn't feel right to be spending money like that in this economy (I have no work for 2011) so I'm just really worried... and bringing this up she has about 1400 extra in cash .... I'm like well there goes my worries but still.... *sigh* I just don't feel right going ya know? The compormise is that we spend X-mas here and then go see her family for new years.....

  10. #10

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    But it won't be 'just this once'.

    And even if she means it, it's selfish of you to expect that to actually be the case.

    Compromise. Both of you.

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