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Thread: Just My Luck...

  1. #1

    Default Just My Luck...

    I haven't been on this forum for months. When I last was, it was because a close friend of mine came out to be as AB/DL.

    Now, six months later, I found a boy whom I have a crush on. He's nerdy and cute and nice and everything I like.... And I just found out that he's a DL! I met him in a very vanilla group of people and had no idea that he was anything but vanilla upon first liking him. I'm astounded since this seems to be an uncommon interest yet this is the second time I've seriously run into it, that I again ran across someone who not only is a DL but I connected with well enough that he admitted it to me.

    The problem: I'm not sure how to handle - or not handle - it. I think I've done a decent job at expressing to him that I have no problem with it and it doesn't make me like him any less. I've started reading up on AB/DL stuff again (though I haven't mentioned it to him). Should I say anything else or just remain silent on the matter until he brings it up again? Anything I should be prepared for or expect? Despite my reading on the matter, I still feel like I'm not really sure whether I should be expecting it to be important to him or an occasional interest, how he'd expect or not expect it to influence our (currently potential) relationship, etc...

    I can provide more details on the exact context of how it came up with him if that's helpful. Either way, advice/reassurance would be appreciated. Thank you!

  2. #2


    I think a lot of it depends on the how he brought the matter up and where you relationship is at. If he brought it up just because he likes you back and thought you should know, that's one thing. If he brought it up because he's hoping you might participate, that's another. Likewise, if you two are just kind of feeling out the boundaries of your relationship, it might not be too pertinent an issue to address. On the other hand, if you're starting to get serious/more romantically involved and ABDL stuff could come up, you'll probably have to address it sooner.

    I think the best thing for you to do is to just talk to him about it more. I mean, he did bring it up, so he can't be that shy about it. I don't think you need more info from the net or other people about ABDLism -- it sounds to me like you don't have enough information from him to make the call on how to handle it. Besides, it's different for everyone, and everyone has their own needs and desires, so he's really the best person to go to.

    Try asking him to explain it to you -- how he feels, what he likes, why he likes these sorts of things -- that really helped my girlfriend (who is not an ABDL) understand me. Your profile gives the impression that you're still pretty new to the ABDL world, so this could be really useful to you in understanding how to best relate to him.

    Good luck to you both. If he's got the balls to tell you so early on that he's an ABDL, he sounds like a real keeper.

  3. #3


    I say just enjoy each other. If you are comfortable with his DL side, then cool - it will help him be comfortable and honest with you. It doesn't mean you have to participate in anything, just be understanding when he needs to "partake". Best of luck to you both!

  4. #4


    It really makes you wonder how many people have these feelings and just suppress them.

    If he told you this early though you probably have the chemistry to build a really good relationship. Good luck!

  5. #5


    wow that is quite a coincidence indeed!
    I'll echo what others have said: talk more with him
    no way to know where to go unless you know where his head is at

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