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Thread: Coming out day

  1. #1

    Default Coming out day

    So today the 12th or maybe it was the 11th was "Coming out day." A day I know my old high school made a big deal about. I know many of you are gay or bi. Have you come out to anybody yet? Are you still hiding in fear or do you not even know how you feel inside yet?
    Would you like to share with us what it was like coming out? Maybe you can help others that are scared too! I myself don't know anymore what I am, so I'm not jumping any guns and saying "Guess what guys I'm Bi!!!" since still being a teen means that I'm still a little confused. I've only talk about it with one person so far. I told her everything and that I'm not ready or even sure I can label myself as Bi since I still wanna be with a woman. I still wanna have sex with a woman. I wanna date a woman and so forth, however I admit and this was a very hard thing to let out. I sometimes find boys cute or good looking, but am VERY picky. and end up liking the girly looking ones, so idk what I am and really I'm not going to lose sleep over it. I would like to find myself out though. So maybe you can help me out too!

  2. #2


    I was closeted for a long time. I had it easier than some. I'm bisexual, for one, and like you I'm extremely picky about guys. Perhaps that's not the best way to say it. Walking down the street, I'll be turned on by and take a look at just about every reasonably attractive girl I pass. On the other hand, it's only the rare occasional guy that does it for me. However, when I get into a guy, I really get into a guy. I've had some definite crushes in my time.

    I went to college closeted. And actually, National Coming Out Day (the 11th our side of the pond) was a big part of why. My CA was bi. One of my first friends was bi. And we were all pretty tight. Both were open about it and I felt bad for being, as I saw it, dishonest. Then for NCOD the BLGT group sidewalk chalked EVERYWHERE around campus encouraging people to come out- promising that they'd be welcomed for doing so. This made me feel terrible, as I was convinced if I came out my BLGT friends would hate me for it.

    Then one night my CA had to run a diversity program for our floor. She showed a Lifetime movie called The Truth About Jane, about a girl who comes out to her parents. After it, we had a talk where my CA went on about how sad she was being closeted and how much better it was to come out. At that point, I knew I couldn't stay in the closet anymore, and it was pretty much a choice between coming out and suicide. Being here, you can guess which one I chose.

    It was NOT easy, yet at the same time, it was the greatest feeling ever. I told my parents, which went horribly, and our relationship eventually normalized about 2 years later. I also told all my friends- as in I started calling everyone in my phone's contact list at 7:30 in the morning- and it was really great. Some people had questions, some were just happy- but I didn't get any negative reactions whatsoever (except my parents). It's kind of amazing to ponder just what I was afraid of. Yea, I had some friends from HS who would've despised me for it, but when I went to college I lost touch with most, so eff 'em.

    My biggest advice: you sound like you KNOW who you are. You just may not have fully come to terms with it yet. I spent a long time in that stage. I knew I liked me, but just played it off. I'm kinky. I'm not a prude. I don't really like guys, at least not like girls. Bah. I like guys, I just tried all kinds of ways to explain it away, all ways that didn't really change who I really was.

  3. #3


    Thank you for sharing. I really have in the past month really seen this side of me. I still never get "turned on" by my own sex though. It's just, I don't know. It is all really new to me. Deep down I'm scared. I feel like I can hide the truth like I have with so much in my past. Less then 5 people knew I was a cutter for 2 maybe 3 years. Only 4 people know of the the girl that used me and the one I could never have </3 I' never got over her. I just excepted the truth so we could stay friends. One 2 people knew I was depressed for 3 years ( I had a case of being in a High School, cleared right up after July of 09. I really love college.) Other then this place not a single person knows I'm a dl and really thats only my business. And like I said I have told one person I know about this. I feel like I can trust a very old friend of mine who came out to me a few months back. She told me everything. Being bi and a close person in my life I feel like she would really understand me. I'm just scared to open myself. Hell I was able to fucking smoke for 2 years without people close to me knowing ( I quit) This place has helped me open my shell a little more, but out in the real word people are not this nice. I'm still scared and maybe I'm in denial. I can't see myself being with a guy. It makes me
    shutter thinking about it. Since I'm confessing anyway, this is something I've let out, but I feel the more I remind myself the faster I love that part of myself since for a long time I not only hated who I was, but wanted to die ( middle school sucked) I hate how I can't own a shirt or something cuz it's for girls. I don't say I'm a cross dresser since the idea of my legs being not coverd bothers the hell out of me ( I hate shorts too) Like this really cool hoodie - Pikachu Hoodie, Customized, Audrey Close Up, - Pikachu - calgarycosplay I find it very cool and would like one, but it's a girl hoodie. I would get looks if I put that on. If a girl puts it on she's just being cute. not me right? No I need to cut my fucking hair! I can't get a job with long hair, no! I need short hair or I look like a girl. I can't iron my hair or I'm gay! I fucking hate that!.....sorry. I just hate what we're told we need to do. My parants have never minded how I keep my hair, hell I could cut it all off and they would just comment if it looks good on me and thats that since they let me live MY LIFE and since I'm 18 and out of here in less then 6 years. I got off topic. Maybe I'll open up more one day and love myself. Maybe I need help from a pro. I don't know. I try and not let the topic keep me up. I'm just a scared boy. Maybe I'll write a song about it. Thank you for telling me your story and thanks for reading this. I have a long way to go....

  4. #4


    I knew I had to tell someone. It was just a matter of who and how. I had a good friend who I'd been helping through a tough breakup- she thought he really liked her, then he got tired of her, told her the sex sucked, and went on his way. He was her first, at that. I knew objectively that I was bi, that she would be supportive, and that she was totally accepting of BLGT people.

    My method was to tell her I was upset about something on AIM and then back myself into a corner. I knew she'd be insistent if I gave her the sense I wanted to tell her something but was afraid. Then she did something huge- she offered to tell me something she'd never told anyone, which was that she was struggling with drug problems (I had NO idea, none, and never would have guessed in 100 years). So then I told her and the longest 10 seconds of my life passed as I waited for her to respond. Her response was "well that's alright," and literally changed my life.

    As for the hoodie, I agree that its adorable. I'm TG personally, but whether or not you're TG, the issue is that social roles tend to be a lot looser for girls than guys. For example, most people are much more accepting of a "working mom" than a "stay at home dad." Girls can get away with being a tomboy or with being cutesy and adorable. Guys don't have as much latitude. I think this is something a number of guys, particularly in our community, are victims of. Doesn't mean you're any less happy being male. You may just want more social acceptance to be cute.

  5. #5


    I want to be who I am with out judgement. I'm happy with my body. I'm 100% okay with being male. I just wish we could break gender rolls and what is and is not okay. I feel like less kids would feel so confused about who they are if they knew it's okay to wanna put on a skirt or act a little girly. Less teen deaths maybe. It always hits me hard when I find out a teen killed himself or herself......this hoodie is the only girly thing that I have real liking for other then this sick green mail bag with a swiss cross on it that would match my M-65 coat ( wow that sounded girly!) "You may just want more social acceptance to be cute." yeah I guess so. I also like dressing manly though, so go figure. You're a lot of help buddy. Maybe I'll build up the will to tell my good friend in person. Maybe a shot of vodka can help me with that, ha. Goodnight for now.

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