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Thread: WTF is wrong with people?

  1. #1

    Default WTF is wrong with people?

    So in the past, I've been pretty open about the fact I was bullied a lot in my school days growing up. I've also seen it from another angle as a teacher. And reading this article, I honestly feel like I want to strangle someone:

    1 Ohio school, 4 bullied teens dead by own hand - Yahoo! News

    Sladjana Vidovic's body lay in an open casket, dressed in the sparkly pink dress she had planned to wear to the prom. Days earlier, she had tied one end of a rope around her neck and the other around a bed post before jumping out her bedroom window.

    The 16-year-old's last words, scribbled in English and her native Croatian, told of her daily torment at Mentor High School, where students mocked her accent, taunted her with insults like "Slutty Jana" and threw food at her.

    It was the fourth time in little more than two years that a bullied high school student in this small Cleveland suburb on Lake Erie died by his or her own hand — three suicides, one overdose of antidepressants. One was bullied for being gay, another for having a learning disability, another for being a boy who happened to like wearing pink.
    How there have been four students in a school district who committed suicide to escape bullying over two years AND the district hasn't fired every goddamn administrator in the high school is beyond me.

    When I was a teacher, there was one fat kid who loved stopping outside my room during his passing to do various things- bang on the door, hump it, etc. Fat kid too, probably around 350 pounds. I remember one day he finally lined it up, ran at it full tilt from across the hall and hit it hard enough to shatter the glass. (Mind you, I'd contacted the school administration about this many, many times leading up to this- they never made an attempt to do anything.) Sadly, he wasn't injured. I think the end result was was he got 2 days central detention.

    I brought this up in my night class (was working on a degree in education) and told my prof that he couldn't tell me a kid who did this had a properly functioning brain. His response:

    Well of course he doesn't have a normally functioning brain. He's in puberty, and his brain has a whole scale of physical and psychological changes happening right now.
    . . .

    I decided asking him if he was shitting me wouldn't do anything for my grade, so I dropped it. But seriously, both in the case of students in the school I taught at and in the school mentioned in the original article, are we really taking behaviors I think are machismotic and sadistic and blaming them on puberty?

    What the fuck is wrong with people?

    End rant. Thanks. I was really upset reading that article but feel somewhat better now.

  2. #2


    Sadly a lot of schools now see bullying as "a part of growing up" so most anything they do about it is only superficial to prevent any disciplinary actions against themselves.

    I remember being bullied at school and all the teachers told me that if I were bullied I was to go to them with it and they would do something about it. Fool that I am I believed them and used to do so in the beginning. If the teachers ever remembered to do anything at all about it they'd do little more than take this kid aside and explain to them that I was a 'sensitive child' so they shouldn't pick on me (because daily beatings for having ginger hair and being suspected of being gay amounts to a little 'gentle picking-on') [sarcasm] which, as you can imagine, helped my case so completely. Oh yes, no bullying after that, of course! [/sarcasm]

    I'd be lying if I said that the thought of ending my own life never occurred to me but I realised that if I did that then they'd have beaten me in the worst way possible. In the end I discovered that, in my situation, there was little I could do about it so I just stayed depressed until I was out of school.

    What I really don't understand is how one human being can think it ok to treat another the way they do for even the smallest of reasons. I mean, I get there's the whole 'self esteem, peer pressure, pack mentality' sort of stuff that goes on but anyone with any human emotions should be able to tell just what's wrong with what they're doing.
    Sadly it seems to be a smaller symptom of a much larger, probably global, problem with seeing human life as cheap and worthless and it's the truly good that are suffering at the hands of what I can only think to call the 'truly evil'... as much as those tags can apply here.

  3. #3
    Butterfly Mage


    According to "Focus on the Family", it's not the bullies that are at fault. The Christian organization instead blames the victims for failing to fully conform to perceived "norms". It made me mad as hell when I saw that particular interview.

    Personally, I wouldn't find being a member of a high school equivalent of a Borg Collective particularly life-affirming.

  4. #4


    My bullying began in middle school. New school, some of the same friends from elementary school, but also from 3 other elementaries as well. Now, add onto this, I went to school the first week (last week of august) and then was out of school for a month having heart surgery. I came back and I did take it easy, hell I just had major surgery, I was gaining weight so was quickly getting a little chunky too. I never was the most athletic person before, and definitely was not and am not even today. I could not stand my classmates, they seemed to live to disrupt class, I guess I felt that I was there to learn, and disruptions were childish when in class.

    It started with the simple ear-flicking, book tossing, etc.... I went to the counselors office, nothing was done. I think even one time I was told to just toughen up, walk away, etc... I made it through 7th grade, but it got worse in 8Th grade, by now, I just wasn't going to take it anymore and I started fighting back.

    My main thing is I don't like being touched, don't put your hands on me, don't poke me, HANDS OFF!!! - I am still this way today.

    I blew up several times, once was in the cafeteria, this person kept touching me and I just wasn't going to take it anymore, I shoved him away and when he came back, he got a right hook. I got Saturday school. I also got sent to a behavioral psycologist.... When I started discussing what was going on at school, they were surprised that the school took no action by the people who were making my life miserable in school. I am certain that they called the school and it was laid out what exactly was happening cause it stopped shortly thereafter.

    What is sad is cause i was being bullied and tormented, it put me down so low, that I too started to torment a close classmate, which he was scrawny, goofy (he still is, it is just his nature), etc.... It was not something meant to hurt him, but I don't know how he felt about it, I am sure it bothered him. some almost 20 years later it bothers me that I did it.

    In high school I thought it would get better, ya know, we were in high school, we should all act grownup. WRONG!!!!!! I had become a budding computer geek, this was before geek was cool though. I would be tormented by these two guys, Kyle and Kevin - both stoners and drunks. They were probably juniors then. They would spit in my locker, take my books (yes text books that were NEVER found) that I had to pay for. Freshman year was rough, I just could not grasp that the micro-management that teachers gave in younger grades was not there when you get to high school. That winter I tried out for the Wrestling team, it was a team that you don't get cut per-say, you wrestle with the others in your weight class if there are any, and who wins goes to the meet that week, and there were JV meets also. Well due to my heart conditions, and the medications I am on, I could not pass the physical. The coach let me stay on the team and help out with being the "equipment manager", which is a nice way of calling me the water boy. Now, I thought being part of a team might be good, maybe I could make some friends who would not bully me. I made some friends, but the problem was, I was still picked on; except now the coaches thought it was funny. But I was a varsity letter wearing water boy!!

    Now I should also say, I was the A/V geek too. In high school I took 4 years of Television Production. My freshman year, the studio was at the old middle school..... so in the mornings, I had to ride the bus from my house to the middle school (why are you going to the middle school for a class, are you in special classes),

    That spring I decided to ask the track coach if he needed any help. OH YES HE DID. Now this teacher I saw almost daily my freshman year, he was the one on hall duty when I came back from the middle school from TV production class, so he knew me. I think he also knew that I got picked on too. This coach basically took me under his wing. There were instances of bullying when I was with the track team, but he made it clear that I was to be treated as one of the coaching staff. Track was more of a "family" when you have almost 80 students, and 4 coaches, there was always somebody there. Since the guys outnumbered the girls, I typically rode the girls bus along with all the equipment. Now the females are just a mischievous as the boys, one time they cut a bald spot in my hair while i dozed off.

    The one thing I gained from working with the track team was that there were nice people in the school.

    The following year I was a sophomore; still depressed. Had a bully incident, and this time I stood up for myself and fought back. Good thing a teacher was there, cause I took on more than I could handle. The Assistant principal almost laughed when I was brought in, asking me if I was crazy to take on somebody who could stomp a mud hole in me. You ever see in cartoons where when a guy gets hit, they go flying..... I flew that day. I did not get suspended or Saturday school, I got detention for a whole week, 1 hour each day working for the janitors. I was still picked on, but not so much anymore, the bullies don't like people who will fight back and make a scene.

    One weekend my mom and dad were going away, I had planned it out, I was going to harm myself, I was not sure, maybe slit a wrist, maybe take every pill in the medicine case. For some strange reason some Christian friends from the track team invited me to go on an outing with them, they were going to go to Cedarville college to swim, and play racket ball, volleyball, etc.. I said "OK, might as well"

    I won't say I got saved that weekend, but I saw the love of having friends who were caring for each other. I quickly found that I lived for Wednesday nights and Sunday morning and evening. That Easter Sunday I raised my hand during alter call and began a new life. I started going to FCA (fellowship of Christian Athletes (of anybodies)), which was led by guess who, the track coach at the school on Friday mornings. We had a morning prayer circle before school. It might have helped but I also made friends with some of the football team, and was invited to go to parties with them (these were non-alcoholic, school or class parties). If bullying or insults happened, I just turned the other cheek, which was hard, but it happens.

    By my senior year, my diaper desires started, by the end of that year I was so stressed out from trying to pick a college, hold a job, save money, graduate school, that I cracked. I decided to try diapers, I figured if I did not try them now, I never would. The rest is history.

    Wanna know the funny things here.....
    two of the middle school bullies are friends of mine. One turned out to be gay and lives down south with his older boyfriend, the other is a history teacher. Most of our issues were resolved in high school as well.

    The two from freshman year in high school, the one is a contractor who lives around the block, and I don't know about the other.

    The one that cleaned my clock in sophomore year, died of heart failure due to his use of illicit drugs, and possibly hepatitis.

  5. #5


    I thought states have passed laws about bullying?

    I started to get picked on at age six and it got worse as I got older. First it started in my neighborhood from other kids and then I got picked on by a few kids at my school but when I started my new school at age eight, it was more bullying. It was worse by sixth grade I had a nervous breakdown.

  6. #6


    Kids are cruel and do not have the foresight to see how their "fun" might seriously hurt someone. It's all a game to them. Pick on the weakest, the one that isn't like everyone else, break them down so the bullies feel better about themselves. Some teachers/etc. think it's part of growing up. Some think it's harmless "teasing" that maybe at most deserves a stern talking to and a "don't do that again". Maybe they think it is the victim's fault for "just letting it happen". Or maybe some, even though they would never admit it, think, "that freak needs to learn a lesson about fitting in anyway. This is good for her/him. It will help them later in life."

    No. That's so much BS. Most bullying will probably not lead to these kinds of extremes but it can still have terrible consequences. It can make a kid seriously hate and fear coming to school and make their childhood a living hell. Not all kids are going to be tough fighters that stand up to any and all assaults and let words bounce off their rock hard skin. Not all kids can be. People that think those kids that can't simply need to "toughen up" are idiotic and are the reason these things happen. Kids don't fear punishment for this kind of stuff. They probably laugh at getting sent to the principle's office.

    Kids are cruel. They aren't all as innocent and playful as some adults seem to think. They can be mean, vindictive, hot-tempered devils, some of whom have not yet developed the adult abilities to control themselves completely and "put themselves in the other person's shoes". They don't see how seriously they are hurting someone. The bullied kid is simply a toy to them, not a person.

    Adults need to look out for kids, defend the ones that need defending and for goodness sake not tolerate this kind of crap at school. Kids can't always work things out for themselves in these situations. Set firm and strict rules and ALWAYS abide by them. Make sure the parents know. You become lax about enforcing the rules and kids think you are nothing but talk and walk right over you.

    How do you do this? I can't say. I just know that ignoring it and letting things work out themselves isn't the answer. This needs to be taken more seriously than it is currently being taken.

  7. #7


    I think more needs to be done about bullying at school, with the school intervening more... but it is a difficult issue.

    How much the school should do, or what counts as enough bullying for the school to get involved would be difficult to decide upon.

    I was bullied in primary school... I remember saying something to the teacher but was just told "Don't tell tales!".
    The bullying was more the school's fault than the kids.

  8. #8


    The school's doing nothing about bullying only seems to push kids into being a social outcast and make them more likely to commit suicide or even go on a killing rampage like at columbine. If the school doesn't want to do anything about it, the kids will find a way out themselves. Though I really only see a few choices for the kids in which it always ends badly on some regard.

    2.Rampage where they either hurt or possibly even kill another student and most likely get expelled for the incident.
    3.dropping out
    4. getting transferred to a new school and HOPE the same thing doesn't happen there.

  9. #9
    Butterfly Mage


    Here's the thing about bullying: Why is it socially acceptable for teenage bullies to visit harm upon others that would constitute Assault-II, Stalking, or Harassment in a court of law if the actions involved one adult against another adult? In the mainstream society, one adult isn't allowed to kick the crap out of another adult. The aggressor gets arrested, prosecuted, and could face a fine or a jail term. Why is it permissible for teenage bullies to engage in illegal behaviors without fear of prosecution?

  10. #10


    teachers constenly tell me to go to them when i get bullied, but they never help anyway so i end up geting into a fight
    main reson people don't bully me today is becuse they know they are going to get into a fight

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