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Thread: Scared

  1. #1

    Default Scared

    I have been a closet Ab for almost 8 years. I was recently (4 years ago) found out by my parents and was sent to see a counselor. I was assured that everything would be kept between me and the counselor.

    I found out later that my dad was communicating behind my back to the counselor, i found out from a letter on the recent documents of my family computer that said my parents were considering institutionalizing me to keep track of these "occurances". I found an excuse to quit seeing the counselor and convince my parents i was "cured".

    Over the last four years i've bought diapers off and on and this last month i was caught and confronted because my dad intercepted a sample pack of bambinos i ordered off the internet (he was going to texas for awhiile and i didn't expect to arrive so fast, it's the on time punctuality has come back to bite me in the @$$). I'm in college now and have been involved with a potential daddy on the internet. I have found another Dl on my campus and I'm freaking out because my family expects me to serve a two year religious mission.

    I'm incredibly freaked out because i really want to keep my AB lifestyle and i feel if i come out to my family i will reject me or take more drastic actions. I really don't know what to do. i love being a AB/Dl and i feel if i'm cut off from my family i wouldnt have much to live for.

    If anybody out there has found them selves in the same situation. I'm begging you to tell me what you did to conquer these obstacles.

  2. #2


    Alright, listen. You're an adult now. Your parents cannot force you to do ANYTHING.

    If this is important to you, you need to stand up for yourself. You cannot let them run your life if you're not living with them. So grab your nuts, you'll need em.

  3. #3


    I agree with Thunder Dont let them run your life. Do what you want to do.

  4. #4


    Agreed, stand your ground. Assuming that you're 18, you can't be committed to any institution without your parents convincing a court that you're a danger to yourself. I can't imagine too many courts would believe that being a TB is a danger to yourself. if you don't want to go on a mission, don't go. I know its easier said than done, but living your life how others want you to isn't much of a life in my opinion. The more important thing is this; your family has no business knowing about your TB side. That being said, sometimes you just have to put it on the back burner, i.e. don;t have stuff delivered to your parents' house. I hope things turn out good for you. I am a bit curious though, you're listed as being in Idaho and talking about a 2 year mission, are you by any chance Mormon?

  5. #5


    You guys are kind of ignoring that he stated he is in college, which more than likely means he is being at least somewhat supported by his parents financially, and doing his own thing would be completely detrimental to his relationship with them and could jeopardize his future quite seriously.

    I'm not trying to say you need to give in and conform to you're parents expectations, but right now the best thing you can do is lay low and avoid your parents suspicion, and convince them that you have nothing to do with this anymore (Even talking to you're dad you could say something like "wow, I can't believe what weird shit I used to be into"). Then when you are completely independent feel free to live as openly with your other side as you please knowing that you're parents can do nothing to interfere with it, and if they do still have a problem with it then at that point you can make a stand and say "Hey, this is who I am and I who I'm going to remain." and they will eventually give in knowing that they can do nothing to stop you and will likely sever a connection with their child if they don't.

  6. #6


    Ditto to all the above. I was discovered when I was in college and I had to see a shrink, but that's as far as it went. They can't have you committed without your consent as long as you are not a danger to yourself or others. As for a two year mission trip, just say no. Like NamelessMonster said, lie your pants off. You no longer have in interest in diapers. Tell them you prayed about it if you must. Who cares. Then be a lot wiser about not getting caught. Once you are out on your own you can do what ever you want. As for churches and mission trips, the organized church has a lot of growing up to do. Your relationship with God is far different than your relationship with organized religion. No one should go on a mission trip unless they feel truly called. Otherwise, you are a hypocrite or a sham. God doesn't want you to be either.

  7. #7


    I never said i was worried about being committed (anymore), just giving some background info. the problem is, i am tied to my family financially (i.e. college, living expenses, meds (i'm type I diabetic)). My oldest sister came out as being gay and was disowned from the family. I'm afraid this is what will happen to me if i'm discovered, my family tends to look down on things considered "not normal". to answer dogboy, i do feel called and am pretty honored to serve a mission, i'm just conserned how my AB desires are gonna interfere. Bugatti, i had to deliever there because i hadn't moved into my dorms and i wasn't expecting them in three days.

  8. #8


    It is hard. I am about to be 35 and I still have to hide it. I am also studying to be a minister and it isn't socially acceptable. But the more I try to rid myself, the more desperate I become. I guess I am surrendering to that fact.

    I would try to not make a big deal in front of your parents. If you stay at school have them shipped there they come in discreet packaging. Order enough so that when you go home you have plenty. I usually keep a case in the trunk of my car and carry up a small bag as needed so everyone doesn't see me toting a box, in my case, is labeled.

    Good luck my friend!

  9. #9


    I tried living my life as my mother and stepfather wanted me to--I hated it, couldn't feel happy day-to-day, and soon realized I had to stand on my own. My mother and stepfather threatened to cut off all financial help for me with college, etc. for stepping away from what they wanted me to be.

    I still walked away and instead I paid my own way through college. When I had kids and got married (though I was still in college), my mother and stepfather kept slowly trying to find ways to talk badly about my wife. It turned out they didn't like her as they felt she was 'from the wrong class of people' for having grown up in a welfare household.

    The criticism got so bad that when I finally put my foot down they started criticizing me and my life choices. I ended the relationship with them totally.

    My father and his side of the family adore my wife, and she feels the same about them. There has never been anything bad said about her from anybody there. We all enjoy spending time together as a family. They accept her unconditionally.

    thelvyn1991, I am sorry to hear that your parents feel this way. It is truly a heart-breaking thing to have to cut ties because someone has such a narrow world view. All I can really say is that if you want to truly be happy in your life, accept who you are. Nobody can control you or make you into something you do not want to be.

    It is hard to break ties with a parent over anything. All that any child wants is for their parents to love them and accept them for the person they are. For me, I had to be someone else to be really accepted by my mother, and I could not do that for the rest of my life. It took me 35 years to come to that realization.

    I hope with the support of friends (and maybe your sister), you can find the solution that is right for *YOU*. If you want to take a strict religious view on this, then you have some soul-searching to do. As it stands, any religion that has tried to moderate sexual behavior over the years has failed miserably--it only takes a look at the Kinsey report to see this.

    Keep us posted if you can. We're here as support.

  10. #10


    Just out of curiosity are you a member of the Church of Latter Day Saints?

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