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Thread: I don't know what to think of this lifestyle . . .

  1. #1

    Question I don't know what to think of this lifestyle . . .

    I chose 'PsychBlock' as my user ID for a reason. It's kind of like writer's-block in that I just don't know what to think or how to . . . well let me just start where I'm coming from because that might help haha.

    I know someone who is into this and they want me to be a part of it. I am generally an open person, and have done a couple fetish acts that most people would say are gross or can't understand why I think they're okay. So it's not that I think being an AB/DL/?? is wrong . . . not at all. I just never knew about it until recently, and although I would like to be a part of it, I don't know how to get started I don't know how to get my mind in that . . . mindset. I WANT to, I just . . . don't know enough about it. I don't know what is expected, and I think that is the main problem.

    SO, thought I'd ask so I can begin He wants me to play . . . mommy? But see, I don't know what that is. Like . . . what do mommies do exactly? What is the intention/goal? I'm afraid to ask him because of the awkwardness but I also know that he's likely reading this thinking he knows who is writing it :p

    And, is this fetish a sexual thing or just a lifestyle? I do think there is something interestingly erotic about a man in a diaper and I really enjoy's what I'm good at. But that diaper is a block to what I want lol. So incorporating play into this is what I'm hoping for, but I don't know enough about it to expect it . . . Maybe I'm not the right woman for the kink he wants me to be a part of . . . but I want to be . . . just not . . . there yet :-/

    I read somewhere (here or another site) that being an AB/DL is not about adults acting like children, but just childish ways. Well, to me that doesn't make sense Isn't that the same thing?? Do you all think of yourself as kids or what?? And I'm supposed to think of myself as a mom but also be able to play with a guy's cock at the same time??? That just doesn't sound right... and I know you don't think like that but that's how it comes across. So that is why I am so bent on changing those outsider views. I don't mean to be rude and that is far from my intentions I just . . . don't know. So please don't take offense to anything I'm saying because that is not how I mean to say it. Just pure, innocent questions trying to get to know what is expected and how you all think, because knowing those things will help me understand and be able to become something that right now, I am not.

    I am a big supporter of kink and taboo fetishes, and standing up for those who aren't as open. So please write to me as if you'd want to be accepted into society...b/c right now I feel like that society but also saying that I'd protect what others turn their heads from. That's just me...protective and loyal. I think I have some traits that would be useful as a "mommy" but then again, I don't even know if they're required. I don't know anything about it and that scares me because it's putting myself in a position I'm unfamiliar with. However, if I can see this as a challenge and become something I'm curious about . . . become educated in it, then I can become more confident in myself to be able to handle other situations. I mean that in most loving way...

    Infinite pleases and thank-yous

    P.S. - What got you interested in this fetish? Is it even considered a fetish or is it something else? I want to be able to word things correctly so I don't upset anyone :-/ So any help you can offer is much appreciated.

  2. #2


    Hey there, and welcome to the forum!

    I was in exactly the same situation as you are now, about two years! Now all the freaks here (just joking ) have managed to turn me into one of them!

    If you click on the 'my coming out thread' link in my signature you'll see what situation I was in, and there are a lot of links to the threads I made when I first joined which might help you!

    Good luck to you in finding out more, and if you're ever in the IRC hit me up with a PM if you've got any questions

  3. #3



    I think your best best is to simply talk about it lots and lots with your guy. Only he really knows what he wants to happen, as I'm sure ABism is different for everybody really.

    I, for example, find humiliation sexily exciting and so ABism is centred around that for me. On the other side of the scale, some people get nothing sexual out of diapers at all, and simply enjoy to comfort of being looked after/treated like a child.

    I think it's fair to say that not many ABDLs imagine themselves as being actual babies/toddlers and want the experience sexual at the same time, as that would be highly confusing and wouldn't make much sense (like your cock example ). Although maybe I'm wrong about that...
    I guess you just need to ask him about it.

    To break the ice, why not use a quiz?
    e.g. OkCupid | Take The ABDL Test Male version Test

    The results aren't the important thing here, just doing the quiz together may help you understand what motivates his ABDLness.

  4. #4


    Welcome. Good job for bein supportive, being open minded, and wanting to educate yourself. I have never personally been on the caregiver end, but I think the best thing you can do is ask him what exactly abdl is for him. There are those it is sexual for, and for some it is purly comfort (I am the latter, and get nothing sexual from it).
    Talula is one of the best people to talk too, and I see she has already answered this thread; she really will be a great help for you.

    Good luck to you.

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