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Thread: Regaining Continence

  1. #1

    Default Regaining Continence

    So it seems I started to regain continence a bit. Of course there's still the running to the bathroom and such still, so my bladder seems to still hate me, but I've noticed that my diaper has been dry on more occasions lately. Now it seems it happens *maybe* once or twice a week these past few weeks (on an airplane for one). I have even started to try going without a diaper for a while, mostly on weekends (and with a few spare diapers and change of pants nearby). Of course all this change is no thanks to an unhelpful urologist...

    So, while I should be happy, and I guess I am about the health thing, diapers have so quickly become a part of my life recently that I am already missing them and feel uncomfortable without them.

    This comes with many problems though - namely that it would be weird to tell my partner that, while the leaking has nearly stopped, I don't want to give up my diapers. I mean I can't imagine giving the toilet up completely - but i'm sure the enjoyment of the diaper is a security thing on one hand, and and just maybe liking diapers in general on the other - as in the feel or the emotional gratification of them.

    On top of that, I fear not wearing a diaper could in some way make me stressed to not have them on "just in case" and cause me to wet *more* when undiapered.

    Perhaps this is me phasing into the DL category now. Just a weird predicament I guess. Sorry for the lament.

    Thoughts? Similar experiences?

  2. #2

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    I feel the same way with the "just in case" thing. I'm not incon. though, so I really can't compare to what you're going through. Best of luck.

  3. #3

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    well i'd have to say that it's a predicament. I wear for my bedwetting but overtime have become a DL. My gf knows about the bedwetting and the diapers but not the fact that I feel that diapers are just a part of me that i'm not comfortable with giving up yet. I only wet the bed one or twice a month but it's been going on for 2 years so i know how you feel.

  4. #4

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    What you wear and why is really up to you. If you're incon and re-gaining control, you're well within your rights to wear whatever you feel is necessary, whenever you want to, and you don't have to justify yourself to anyone... partner included.

    You are the only one in your shoes. You are the only one who knows exactly what is going on with you. A urologist or another incon might be well placed to offer advice, but when it comes to your own peace of mind, it's all up to you and no one can question that. You've had to overcome a huge obstacle in terms of getting your mind around the thought of diapers and now you potentially have to change your mindset again. And you're very much allowed to do that however you feel necessary and take as much time as you so choose.

    There's a couple of things you could do though. Now, I don't know anything about your situation or what you wear, but you could always try and find a thinner diaper or one with less padding (eg: Abri-form Super instead of Abri-form X-Plus, if you wear disposables), or maybe try moving from a diaper to an incontinence pad and see how you go with that.

    Either way, there's nothing wrong with being a DL, ya know

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by BloodyElle View Post
    So it seems I started to regain continence a bit. Of course there's still the running to the bathroom and such still, so my bladder seems to still hate me, but I've noticed that my diaper has been dry on more occasions lately. Now it seems it happens *maybe* once or twice a week these past few weeks (on an airplane for one). I have even started to try going without a diaper for a while, mostly on weekends (and with a few spare diapers and change of pants nearby). Of course all this change is no thanks to an unhelpful urologist...

    So, while I should be happy, and I guess I am about the health thing, diapers have so quickly become a part of my life recently that I am already missing them and feel uncomfortable without them.

    This comes with many problems though - namely that it would be weird to tell my partner that, while the leaking has nearly stopped, I don't want to give up my diapers. I mean I can't imagine giving the toilet up completely - but i'm sure the enjoyment of the diaper is a security thing on one hand, and and just maybe liking diapers in general on the other - as in the feel or the emotional gratification of them.

    On top of that, I fear not wearing a diaper could in some way make me stressed to not have them on "just in case" and cause me to wet *more* when undiapered.

    Perhaps this is me phasing into the DL category now. Just a weird predicament I guess. Sorry for the lament.

    Thoughts? Similar experiences?
    I understand about the wearing diapers for the confidence thing, I even wear one if I am on a long journey driving the car. (just incase) When one loses the confidence in ones bladder one is never quite the same.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by z66r2v View Post
    What you wear and why is really up to you. If you're incon and re-gaining control, you're well within your rights to wear whatever you feel is necessary, whenever you want to, and you don't have to justify yourself to anyone... partner included.

    You are the only one in your shoes. You are the only one who knows exactly what is going on with you. A urologist or another incon might be well placed to offer advice, but when it comes to your own peace of mind, it's all up to you and no one can question that. You've had to overcome a huge obstacle in terms of getting your mind around the thought of diapers and now you potentially have to change your mindset again. And you're very much allowed to do that however you feel necessary and take as much time as you so choose.

    There's a couple of things you could do though. Now, I don't know anything about your situation or what you wear, but you could always try and find a thinner diaper or one with less padding (eg: Abri-form Super instead of Abri-form X-Plus, if you wear disposables), or maybe try moving from a diaper to an incontinence pad and see how you go with that.

    Either way, there's nothing wrong with being a DL, ya know
    I will second these thoughts, albeit with one caveat: the urologist's feelings on what I wear for protection are not something I tend to listen to. Far too often I have found that urologists are most concerned with having someone not using absorbent garments for protection. I would assume that they feel they have not been able to 'fix' the issue for someone. On the contrary, the issue may not be fixable, and rather than be drugged or cut open, some of us have made a choice as to how we wish to deal with it.

    I know there are urologists out there who are more comfortable with the idea of using protection like this and are willing to accept the choices we have made, but I have yet to find one. I know other incons have been able to find some of them. Some urologists are so laser focused on 'no diapers' that they will ignore everything else to deal with that. I had one where I went in complaining of excruciating testicular pain (so bad it made six cluster headache attacks a day pale in comparison!) and he dismissed the pain as 'insignificant' so that he could try to deal with my bladder control issues that I told him were lifelong.

    I never went back to that jerk. If you find your urologist isn't helping your situation, see if you can find a different one.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by BloodyElle View Post
    Thoughts? Similar experiences?
    Yes, its totally normal, after being in diapers for awhile, to feel insecure without them. I have been there so many times!
    With diapers on, after you got use to them, you didnt have to think about it, so then when you go without it hits you that you have to now think about holding it 24/7. Its sort of like potty training your brain to be programed that you now use the toilet instead of a diaper, even if you dont need the diapers now.
    I have found a couple things (that work for me) to overcome this VERY fast. First, if you are wearing briefs or boxer briefs, switch to regular boxers, no matter if your a guy or gal, wear boxer shorts. When your not thinking of it, briefs feel to much like diapers. For a day or two after you stop using the diapers, if you can, stay home and dont wear any pants, just your boxer shorts. Not wearing any pants will keep reminding you all day long of your situation, and I have found that my brain will adapt really fast to the feeling and thought of no diapers

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