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Thread: It's just getting harder to not tell people...

  1. #1

    Default It's just getting harder to not tell people...

    Alright well over the summer I wanted to integrate infantilism in to my daily life. So far so good my stress is down I'm overall a much happier and better person. My fiancee loves how I"ve been acting and loves the fact that I'll just randomly be diapered or something and she'll just make me feel really special and very accepting (shes an AB so yeah) So far everything is great but I"m happier and I find that I"m taking more and more risk (wearing diapers while friends are over, wearing out with my family etc.) Keep in mind this is not sexual for me It's something that's a part of who I am and what I do. It's part of me just like playing games are. Granted it's a part that not many people should know about....

    See I'm finding it hard keeping it a secret due to what happened yesterday, I was diapered my friends where there and all that jazz and I stayed diapered. I went to take my fiancee home and my friends accompanied me. I took of my diaper in my own room before we went. Something told me to. When we get back home my friend randomly decies to pants me. (I wasn't wearing any underwear) So yeah.... They saw what only my fiancee has seen XD. It was an extremely close call but my mind was like... would it have been so bad?

    See I always have to hide my paci's and bottles and stuff like that... rather I barely use them due to fear of getting caught and my fiancee is really paranoid thinking that if I out myself people will assume she's an AB too. And she's not ready for that...

    See when I was younger I was a pathological liar.... I made an oath to be as honest as possible and I only lie when I"m doing jokes or messing around (I"ll always admit I lied right afterwards) but I"m honest.... And it's killing me that I can't be.... Friend will call.... I tell them I"m with my fiancee.... and they assume sex (i'm a virgin) I can't tell him that I"m being babied... *sigh* Does anyone get what I mean? I"m tired of lying to my friends... It's breaking my oath really... and it's eating away at me....I know I have to keep this a secret... I know that... but I just fucking wish I didn't have to! To many thigns can go wrong.... I feel like the only person that knows me well is my fiancee... and a select few AB friends.... REALLY?! All I have to say that it fucking SUCKS!

    EDIT: Had to finish it up due to class starting.... What I want to say is how can I shake this feeling? I mean I've told some people but I know that is not the best way... like I"m risking more and more... I'll wear just a diaper under my pants and let the diaper peek out and whoever sees it so be it. I'm tking it a bit overboard on the not caring thing and it's not that good... I just want to shake this feeling that's eating me up. Any suggestions on how to curb it?
    Last edited by dragsnick; 21-Sep-2010 at 16:12.

  2. #2
    Loopygone

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    Hmmm I hate to say it, but this would of been better as a blog post, only for the fact that I'm not sure what you're asking/wanting in reply. Is it really that hard to keep a secret? Its not exactly lying is it? Is it really their buisness what you get up to with your fiance?

    Personelly I don't see it as people not knowing me as well. My friends that don't know about my AB life know me just as well, they just don't know about one little side of me. A side which quite frankly they don't need to know about. Just in the same way that I don't tell my friends how often I masterbate, or how badly I sing queen songs in the shower....

    It sounds like to me that you're letting the whole AB thing get out of hand, it might be worth taking a step back, wearing a little less, and acting a little more adult just to realise what you could potentully lose if you go that route. You need to strike a balance between both sides of your self, not letting one take over as it were. You can't let the ab side take over completly, no matter how tempting it is, and how easy it is with a fiance who indulges you, you need to remeber that at the end of the day you are an adult.

    Also think how your relationship with your friends will change if you do tell. It might not be much, but I bet there will be a change, and probably not for the positive :/.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Loopy View Post
    Hmmm I hate to say it, but this would of been better as a blog post, only for the fact that I'm not sure what you're asking/wanting in reply. Is it really that hard to keep a secret? Its not exactly lying is it? Is it really their buisness what you get up to with your fiance?

    Personelly I don't see it as people not knowing me as well. My friends that don't know about my AB life know me just as well, they just don't know about one little side of me. A side which quite frankly they don't need to know about. Just in the same way that I don't tell my friends how often I masterbate, or how badly I sing queen songs in the shower....

    It sounds like to me that you're letting the whole AB thing get out of hand, it might be worth taking a step back, wearing a little less, and acting a little more adult just to realise what you could potentully lose if you go that route. You need to strike a balance between both sides of your self, not letting one take over as it were. You can't let the ab side take over completly, no matter how tempting it is, and how easy it is with a fiance who indulges you, you need to remeber that at the end of the day you are an adult.

    Also think how your relationship with your friends will change if you do tell. It might not be much, but I bet there will be a change, and probably not for the positive :/.
    Haha you're right I didn't have enough time (professor walked int) so I posted it as is.... You're quite right about me taking it a bit to far.... I'm indulging in it for quite a while and I'm not purging..... Which is insanely weird. So yeah... I just want to find a way to curb it (I added it in the edit) But I don't think that it would change me and my friends much.... See my friends and I are.... oddballs to say the least. We all have our thing.... Anyways I"m confident that my friends wouldn't give a ratsass and would probably joke around with it. (something that I find... rather relaxing and appealing for some fucked up reason) Ugh..... I don't even know..... I guess I need to vent? XD I won't be telling anymore people for a while... but I just can't put my finger on it....

  4. #4
    Loopygone

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    I wouldn't say that not purging is insanly weird, it just means you're getting more comfortable with your fetish on one hand. I rarly purge to any degree, and when I do its just wearing less, not throwing stuff out.
    I don't know how to curb it, I've never had that stage where I had to tell everyone about it. All I can say is maybe seperate the two sides a little more then you have been doing. Meaning don't wear round friends who don't know (lessens the chance of them finding out), and try not to think about it round them either. Having a definite split between this side and real life helps me a lot. I know when its okay to act little, and when I need to be "big". I guess I can only wish you luck in this stage of your abdl development.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by Loopy View Post
    I wouldn't say that not purging is insanly weird, it just means you're getting more comfortable with your fetish on one hand. I rarly purge to any degree, and when I do its just wearing less, not throwing stuff out.
    I don't know how to curb it, I've never had that stage where I had to tell everyone about it. All I can say is maybe seperate the two sides a little more then you have been doing. Meaning don't wear round friends who don't know (lessens the chance of them finding out), and try not to think about it round them either. Having a definite split between this side and real life helps me a lot. I know when its okay to act little, and when I need to be "big". I guess I can only wish you luck in this stage of your abdl development.

    Haha that makes sense I guess... it's just that... my friends pop up while I'm already diapered so I'm like .... It's my house I'm not gonna get undiapered... XD I guess I could separate it more.... >_> Kind of Ironic.... had trouble integrating it now I'm having trouble trying to seperate it. Ah I guess it comes with the territory... I'll stop being a bitch about it.

  6. #6

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    Well we all seek aceptance for who and what we are but I wouldn't quite call it liying its just neglect of telling. Now if they asked you and you said no then that would be a lie but if they don't ask and you don't tell them its hardly a lie. We all want people to know but some just don't understand and are very close minded were in my experience there are a lot of people that just don't really care and are ok with it. I'm not saying they 100% feel comfortable with you in a diaper around them but they won't go blabbing to everyone and won't stop likeing you. Something that always helps me is "those you care don't matter, and those who matter don't care" dr seuss. A great qoute helped me so much so far and never let me down. Its the honest truth if you really want to tell them then there should be nothing holding you back if you think they can take it but if you honestly think they won't take it well I say don't. You have to be a judge of character. In the end you need to do what makes you happy and don't settle for nothing less. Life is short so liveit to its full extent and enjoy the ride.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by FrozenFox View Post
    Well we all seek aceptance for who and what we are but I wouldn't quite call it liying its just neglect of telling. Now if they asked you and you said no then that would be a lie but if they don't ask and you don't tell them its hardly a lie. We all want people to know but some just don't understand and are very close minded were in my experience there are a lot of people that just don't really care and are ok with it. I'm not saying they 100% feel comfortable with you in a diaper around them but they won't go blabbing to everyone and won't stop likeing you. Something that always helps me is "those you care don't matter, and those who matter don't care" dr seuss. A great qoute helped me so much so far and never let me down. Its the honest truth if you really want to tell them then there should be nothing holding you back if you think they can take it but if you honestly think they won't take it well I say don't. You have to be a judge of character. In the end you need to do what makes you happy and don't settle for nothing less. Life is short so liveit to its full extent and enjoy the ride.
    Thing is... there truly is no point in telling them. XD Which is why I'm so conflicted.... I gain nothing but piece of mind right? but.... Iunnoo... BTW that quote is very accurate (in my life it's been accurate)

  8. #8

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    True but I wouldn't really say piece of mind becouse idk about you but I would always be thinging about there comfort level around me. But that's me. Personaly I wouldn't worry about telling them plus if your anything like me its kinda fun and dangerus to wear around people that could find out at any time. I'm not into the whole embarasment thing but doing something that you shouldn't is fun all by itself. Sorry for rambleing lol

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by FrozenFox View Post
    True but I wouldn't really say piece of mind becouse idk about you but I would always be thinging about there comfort level around me. But that's me. Personaly I wouldn't worry about telling them plus if your anything like me its kinda fun and dangerus to wear around people that could find out at any time. I'm not into the whole embarasment thing but doing something that you shouldn't is fun all by itself. Sorry for rambleing lol
    Um.... I'm really tired.. I didn't understand that... Um..... I guess I really wouldn't make it obvious... just more piece of mind.

  10. #10

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    Oh sorry bout that sometimes I get cought up on to many subjects at once and I just randomly add stuff. My apology

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