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Thread: My story.

  1. #1

    Default My story.

    I thought i would share my story with you guys cause I havnt been able to discuss it with anyone but everone here seems so nice and egar to help. It starts back in kindergarden, my best friend and i were unseperable. fast foreward to fourth grade him and i had started to drift apart. We got into a fight about halfway though the year, the only part of the fight i remeber was yelling at him that i wish he was dead. The next day i got the news that he was in an ATV accident and was crushed to death. I went to his funerole and i only said two words the entire time were "Im sorry."

    During the summer after my best friends death I was attacked by my dog. He tore 3 gashes in my face, one going down my forehead, one on the right side of my face, the last retreating upinto my hairline on the left side of my face. Each 1/2 inch wide and varrying length. My parents made me go to theripy, but if anything it made me feel worse. The scars still remain to this day along with flashbacks and nightmares because of PTSD.

    My fifth grade year started off with everone looking at me like a freak, me just hiding under a ballcap trying not to be seen. I had to excused multiple times because i would start crying during class. After the first week i over heard someone saying that the teachers told all student to be nice to me, to treat me special. The rest of my fifth grade year was almost exactly like the start. I started getting headaches almoste everyday because of stress.

    In seventh grade my friend jokeingly was saing i smelled. One of the bullies in the grade overheard and thought it was funny too. By the next day everone was saying i smelled like shit. When the torment started my friends were no where to be seen, no where to stand up for me. The torment continued though out the year.

    In eighth grade everone had forgottern about saying i smell. That didnt hange the fact that everone still treated me like the plauge. About halfway though the year i attempted to commit suicide by shooting my head off with a 12 gauge shotgun. The shell was a dud. All though middle school and the begining of highschool (im a freshman) my shot temeber escalated into explosive rage. Iv bloodyed my knuckes to many times to count. Iv gotten in over 8 fights because of my temper.

    Thats my story. Its 100% true. I just want someone to try to help me.

  2. #2


    How would one of us help you?

  3. #3


    Advice, personel experences, anything that you think could be helpful.

  4. #4


    Kids are assholes! I had similar problems in school, Kids called me gay, and fat ass and just about every possible twist of my own name. Many of my so called friends abandoned me because I wasn't the cool kid they all thought they were when we hit high school. Needless to say I got into fights, and acted out doing things to purposely get in trouble. I had to go to the school psychologist twice a week, was continuously asked if I had suicidal thoughts (the scar on my wrist had something to do with the questioning I'm sure), and it was suggested I be put on medication. I finally ended up finding new friends that were not exactly cool kids, but they were true friends. I'm still friends with them now, and know they would do anything for me just as I would do the same for them. I did finally leave conventional high school at the end of my sophomore year since my mom refused the schools demands that I be put on medication (Ritalin). I ended up going to an independent study program where my grades went up to A's and B's from the D's and F's I was getting. I obtained my diploma a year later than I should have, but I graduated, and consider myself fairly successful. Basically what I'm saying is piss on the name callers, the punks, and phony friends. Do your own thing and find new friends that are in your social group. It's better to have real friends that aren't cool than phony ones that are. If school still sucks; convince your parents you would do better in an independent studies program. You only go to school for two hours once a week to get new assignments, turn in old assignments, and take tests. You will avoid all the social crap, and have less to distract you from your studies.

    I hope this helps you a little.

  5. #5


    Thanks man but i already asked my parents to switch schools. They said no and reguse to listen about it anymore. Thanks for trying to help.

  6. #6


    i got attacked by a dog when i was 8 i can remember the whole thing but i didn't get hurt much because my mom saw it happened and pulled him off and all thats left is 2 scars on my arm and i can still feel the spot where he bit me on the back of my neck and he got part of my ear later that night i woke up in the middle of the night i couldn't move scared the crap out of me i called for my mom she never came she was asleep i went back to sleep. Then in 6th grade i transfered school to a country one and started to get bullied that was the year i got into the most trouble i only got 1 friend then but half way through 7th grade i moved back to my old house.

  7. #7


    Wow, I'm sorry to hear all of this, I really am.

    A lot of it I can relate to, most of it besides having your best friend die in the fourth grade. Instead, in the fifth grade, mine just straight up stopped talking to me, or even responding when I said 'Hello'. No reason other than he knew I was going to a different middle school than he was. The idea that we really only lived around the corner from each other and would still hang out didn't seem to help change his mind much. I'm still fucked up by this. I really confided in him and loved him a lot, would have done anything to keep his friendship and thought we would be friends forever, but he just spit me out. Pretty sure he's a pothead right now. I would forgive him in a heartbeat if he was truly sorry, but no way am I going to have him in my life at all unless he genuinely asked for forgiveness for being a total dick to me.

    I too was bullied and teased all throughout school. I was neurologically impaired, very short, and too weak to really defend myself physically, so I was an easy target. It didn't even stop through high school. Even then I had someone who was playing 'keep away' with my backpack. I seriously just stood there and stared at him, able to say what I truly believed: "You're how old now? 16? And that's all you can think to do? Shit man, you are going to need to get a job soon, to support yourself. You are at least 10 times more pathetic than I am." That didn't go over too well, but I can rest assured I am in a much better place than he is.

    I never came quite as close to killing myself as you did, but I have thought about it ever since I was 7. I also got splitting headaches throughout... well... I still get them a lot from stress and tension. The stress also screwed me up pretty badly when I was a freshman in high school. I got severely constipated and felt nauscious all day every day. That lasted for 10 months, and I lost about 1/4th my body weight (was already skinny).

    What you need the most now are some good firm hugs, as well as some good friends. That is the best therapy, though I too have no friends anywhere but online (slowly changing). Everyone needs to feel appreciated, like they matter and are loved, and that's what you need right now, I feel, more than anything else.'

    I also noticed you said you were in therapy. Have you considered cranial sacral therapy (bodywork)? That can really help to treat PTSD. I have plenty of PTSD problems myself from having grown up with SPD. That can help heal your body and relieve built up tension. Seriously, that can help. It's not enough to just talk about the past, you'll need help to get it out of your system. It is not your fault your friend died, you had absolutely nothing to do with it, just like I had to figure out I had nothing to do with my friend ditching me. You've lived a real tough life for a young kid, but there's something that's true about those of us who have been through so much shit and lived to see the end: we can be a beacon of light to others, and more mature than most out there.

    Please, don't hurt yourself. There's no value in that. You are too important and worth too much to go like that. You are stronger than your past, and will make it out okay .

    EDIT: Also, look into EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing). I know, it seems crazy that moving your eyes back and forth would help you a ton with your PTSD, but it's done wonders for so many people.

  8. #8


    Thanks spddan. Its feels great to know theres people out there who care. Il ask my parents about the cranial sacral therapy

  9. #9


    Hey. Listen. I'd love to talk sometime. I've committed suicide several times over, and it's been mostly over infantilism. I find that talking is a great therapy. Pm me sometime, and I'll shoot you my email.

  10. #10


    Quote Originally Posted by BabyAshley View Post
    Hey. Listen. I'd love to talk sometime. I've committed suicide several times over, and it's been mostly over infantilism. I find that talking is a great therapy. Pm me sometime, and I'll shoot you my email.

    OP: What exactly are you looking for help with? Ways to cope with the way you look? Ways to get back at the dog? ways to ignore bullies? I need clarification.

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