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Thread: Need Advice: Gay Coverup

  1. #1

    Default Need Advice: Gay Coverup


    I wonder if anyone here has any ability/knowledge/skills to help me out. Due to circumstances beyond my control I have to pretend I'm not gay and go back in the closet that I abandoned without thinking properly about (you'd think that after a decade of being in the closet I'd at least have the knowledge of how to go back in).

    I've been racking my brains for nearly 2 years now and I still have no idea what to do, so I thought I'd post here.

    I am sort of looking at a “gay cure” (in a roundabout way).What I am looking for is: either an effective method at covering up I'm gay so that not even I know I'm one of those or a way that I don't seem to notice or think about males in any shape or form. Both would be nice but both together are not essential.

    I think it'll be easy for anyone to come in with cover-up methods as there's not much to cover up. I'm not camp, I don't ponce around the place, I'm not blonde, I don't drive a Mini, I don't have a stupid gay voice, and I'm a right proper hard nut.

    I think back when I was at school (left 2 years ago after doing all 6 years, nearly killed me) that I “forgot” I was gay during the working day and was so busy doing homework and reading that I didn't have time back then. I also took a variety of drugs with pain-killing properties, which I won't list here but were very good at putting me into lala land (I am not going near them again so they are out!).

    I'll be damned if I can remember what I did back then fully or how effective it was. Nobody said to my face that I was homo so it seems to have worked nicely anyway. Like I said, I need some way of forgetting and covering up that I'm gay.

    The aims are:

    * Be able to walk into a room containing males and not even register their presence in my brain

    * Be able to be near a hot male(s) and not even think he's hot

    * Ensure that nobody else knows I'm gay (even to the extent whereupon I forget myself)

    Oh yes, I forgot to mention that I am not religious so that will complicate matters a lot I am sure!

    I'll be interested to see what anyone says.

    Oh yes, I am also back at college on 6th September so I need to be safely closeted and on the straight and narrow (no pun intended) by then or there will be trouble!



  2. #2


    Think about girls. That'll help.

    I don't see being not religious makes matters worse though.

  3. #3


    Well, the first thing that popped into my mind when I read your post is that you really need to find a more accepting environment to be in, but that's just me.

    I'm gay, and I've tried to change it within myself. In my case, nothing worked. I couldn't just choose to be hetero - I had to accept who I was, and I had to place myself in an environment that was not at all hostile towards it. And environments like that are out there in the world.

    ((((((hugs))))))), hang in there, I know it's tough for you and that my words are not much help, but I do care about you.

  4. #4



    Thanks for the advice about girls. It is one avenue worth looking down, but I'm not too sure whether it would work or not. I have thought about girls before but my mind wandered onto something else out of disinterest, unfortunately. However it is worth repeating to see what happens this time around now I have more motivation.

    If I was religious I could yell and scream at whatever deity(s) I believed in to come down from wherever they are and make me straight

    ---------- Post added at 01:50 AM ---------- Previous post was at 01:47 AM ----------

    Hi Reborn,

    What sort of environment did you find?

    I'm in the Highlands so I'd have to travel to Edinburgh airport as that's the nearest airport that does flights to Amsterdam (for a weekend break) up here - it's a 4 hour train journey/bus journey to get to the city itself and probably an hour to get to the airport. I'd also need to apply for a passport so anything abroad is something I'm hoping to avoid.


  5. #5


    Sorry my friend but if you are gay... Then you are gay. Its hard wired and is not a curable thing.. You should however reach out to people who have been down this road before. Can I ask what happened to make you not want to be gay any longer? It is a hard long process... I started questioning my sexuality back in my freshman year of high school and only a couple months ago was I finally able to accept I was gay and be cool with it... (I'm now 28 and a single dad)And I couldn't be any happier... I'm not living a lie any longer. Now that I'm open about being a gay man the trick becomes finding a gay friendly
    Last edited by waslost1234abc; 29-Aug-2010 at 01:01. Reason: added info

  6. #6


    I would caution against trying to fool yourself in being "hetero". Lying to others is one thing, but lying to yourself is asking for grief.

    If you're environment is so hostile towards who you are, then moving towards a new environment (whether it be a new circle of friends or a new area) will probably cause you less problems in the long run that trying to change who and what you are. To be blunt, trying to become straight will do absolutely no good to you, it will only cause harm to you and those around you.

  7. #7


    I'm not really sure what your aims are. After years of struggling with similar questions, I'm pretty sure if you find dudes attractive, that's basically it. You can't rewire you brain to be not-gay. However, since you seem to want to be firmly closeted, I think the best you'll be able to do is simply not act on those feelings. It's not difficult, billions of straight and gay people do it every day.

  8. #8


    Okay, I have to know - WHY do you need to go back to being closeted?

  9. #9


    Hi Waslost,

    I'll try to sum up why I hate being gay, but it's going to be a bit long! Two years ago I got beaten up in a gay bar in Manchester by a man who took exception to me being a Scot and for not mincing and all that jazz. It took until March this year before I got comfortable with myself, and that was because of an LGBT youth group. However that's going bust and I'm going to have to go back into the closet again as I won't have any more gay friends left.

    If I get found out as a gay I might end up having to go to a gay bar. I have a phobia of gay bars and all that sort of stuff and cannot go near them for fear of what may happen to me (i.e. i get beaten up again). I am told that being beaten up is a fairly common thing that happens and I cannot afford the time off college getting injuries repaired.

    Oh yes, and why I don't want to feel attracted to boys? Its because I can't have them. There are no gay boys, apart from three that I know of at that group I mentioned a few paragraphs up, and so it is causing jealousy and annoyance at "can't have that."

    This has probably made no sense and raised even more questions, but this is how it is. In short, got beaten up in gay bar two years ago and seem to be unable to accept that I am not going to find a boyfriend as there are no candidates in the town! My brain and boy-bits seem to be unable to understand this concept but however!


  10. #10


    Why are you trying to be someone that you are not? I was in the "closet" my whole life & finally came to terms with my feelings. My regret is that when I did finally do this I was married with 2 kids. Now for not being true to myself I now have screwed up not only my life but 3 others.
    Be yourself. Do what makes you happy. Don't be afraid of the feelings you are having.
    for the sake of my family I had to "go back in" the closet & it tour me up there for a time. Now I have just given up on that part of my life for the sake of my family but it is a constant battle & bouts of depression I am constantly fighting. These feelings you are having are not something you can just turn off.

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