I wonder if anyone here has any ability/knowledge/skills to help me out. Due to circumstances beyond my control I have to pretend I'm not gay and go back in the closet that I abandoned without thinking properly about (you'd think that after a decade of being in the closet I'd at least have the knowledge of how to go back in).
I've been racking my brains for nearly 2 years now and I still have no idea what to do, so I thought I'd post here.
I am sort of looking at a “gay cure” (in a roundabout way).What I am looking for is: either an effective method at covering up I'm gay so that not even I know I'm one of those or a way that I don't seem to notice or think about males in any shape or form. Both would be nice but both together are not essential.
I think it'll be easy for anyone to come in with cover-up methods as there's not much to cover up. I'm not camp, I don't ponce around the place, I'm not blonde, I don't drive a Mini, I don't have a stupid gay voice, and I'm a right proper hard nut.
I think back when I was at school (left 2 years ago after doing all 6 years, nearly killed me) that I “forgot” I was gay during the working day and was so busy doing homework and reading that I didn't have time back then. I also took a variety of drugs with pain-killing properties, which I won't list here but were very good at putting me into lala land (I am not going near them again so they are out!).
I'll be damned if I can remember what I did back then fully or how effective it was. Nobody said to my face that I was homo so it seems to have worked nicely anyway. Like I said, I need some way of forgetting and covering up that I'm gay.
The aims are:
* Be able to walk into a room containing males and not even register their presence in my brain
* Be able to be near a hot male(s) and not even think he's hot
* Ensure that nobody else knows I'm gay (even to the extent whereupon I forget myself)
Oh yes, I forgot to mention that I am not religious so that will complicate matters a lot I am sure!
I'll be interested to see what anyone says.
Oh yes, I am also back at college on 6th September so I need to be safely closeted and on the straight and narrow (no pun intended) by then or there will be trouble!