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Thread: Loss.

  1. #1

    Default Loss.

    Its been two weeks and five days since one of my best friends, Nick, died... I still find it hard to accept he's gone... I mean... I made a promise to him I would try not to cry anymore and I've been keeping that promise... but... its just not the same without him. Band is a tad bit more boring. Don't get me wrong. Band is still totally awesome, he just made it more awesome....
    I can really thank him for alot. I used to be major antisocial and socially awkward. Our freshmen year... he introduced me to everyone he met... and I am now good friends with all of them. If it wasn't for him I would have very few friends. Now he got me past my antisocialness but I'm still pretty socially awkward but... I can credit him for alot... he was a great friend. I just can't believe he's gone. Part of me is saying "face reality. hes dead." The other part of me is saying "No. He'll just walk out late. He'll come right through that door." But I am going to play my best this year. For Nick. I will whip my lazy ass section into line. We will Kick Ass for Nick. I just still can't believe he's dead... I just don't know what to do...

  2. #2


    I find myself at a loss of what to do to help here. On one hand, I wanna say wake up and smell the coffe burning. On the other hand, I want to offer up hugs (if it's not creepy of me to do so) and an ear to listen. For what it's worth, I'm sorry that your friend died, I really am and I understand quite well what you're going through. The best advice I can offer, is do what you feel you need to do.

    Even though I'm not sure how to say this, I feel compelled to say that it does get better or easier or less painful with time.

  3. #3


    I am really sorry about your friend. I lost a good friend recently too, he also had a huge impact on my life and helped shape who I am today for the better, so I know exactly how you feel.

    Like Tripped said it will get easier with time, it's only been two weeks, you're probably going to be hurting for a while.

    Everyone deals with things like this differently I know personally whenever someone I am close to passes on it never sinks in immediately. Usually a few days later I start to get really sad, depressed and sometimes angry. This is a natural reaction to losing someone close to you, and you should not try to suppress your emotions. Typically what I will do is take some time by myself to think about all the good times I had with that person, think about how that person helped me in life, the lessons I learned, and what their friendship meant to me. This brings a flood of emotions that lasts a couple of hours, it's almost like purging yourself, after it's over you will feel better.

    Over time you won't think about it as much and in a month or so you will start move on with your life.

  4. #4


    "time heals all wounds" is true... and complete utter bullshit. It only works if you let it work. Sadly friends and family die, and some of us have experienced it first hand and yes it does suck. However if you grieve for the people/person who passed you will always feel down and at a loss.

    I don't have any advice on how to get past it other then just going on with life as normal as hopefully they would have as well. I don't have advice since each person grieves differently, though if your still extremely upset about someones death 1+ year after they passed you need some kind of help. That's what happened with my mom after my older sister passed away and both me and my older brother hated it.

  5. #5


    It's been said that poets write about only two things, love and death, and probably, that sums up all the meaning in our lives. We meet people who make our lives worth living. We start with our parents and family, and then friends. Later in life it may be our soul mate, that special person. Death is such an intruder. It sneaks in the night and robs us of all our happiness until we realize that it doesn't have the final say. I've felt the presence of those I've loved who departed this world. They're there, somewhere close by, waiting for us to eventually join them. We all wait in line, waiting for that final end, but it's also a beginning to something else, something large and grand.

    Remember your friend and do those things that would honor him. We all continue on, somehow connected to each other in this world, and to our loved ones who have passed on into the next. You will find your way. He would want it that way, and in the end, you will join hands in the infinite.

  6. #6


    The best thing for you to do sweety is let it out and grieve!

    I know how you feel. I lost my real mom on August 1st. It is soo hard with her gone. I am like you... I don't know what to do. "hugs" It'll all be ok sweetie I promise but you have to let yourself grieve or it will eat away at you. I am sure he would understand. It will make you feel a lot better if you do grieve, and let it out. You will NEVER be over it... that I promise but time will make things easier but you will never be over it and that's ok too.

    Just cherish the memories you have of that person and keep them close to you and it will get easier... I know how you feel... I have lost those I love too sweetie... "hugs" I am sorry for your loss.

  7. #7


    Thank you all.
    I am just trying to not become bitter and mean over this...
    I have lately been just talking to him like he is still there (yes I am crazy :P) but I mean a week ago I promised him I wouldn't cry over this anymore... Its been hard but I have kept it. I just have to remember the good things and hell... theres nothing but good from him...
    Another thing is... we all promised to do the best, marching this show for marching band this year, for Nick... and I've noticed I have become a little hard on the freshmen without meaning to. I mean somethings are pure laziness and they need to be whipped into line but I've noticed that all of a sudden I'm getting mad at them for something I know they can't help... and I appologize and then give them constructive critisism but I still feel bad. I told them a few days ago that I know they're freshmen and new to this and I appologized ahead of time if I got too hard on them. The past few weeks have been stressful and they all said they understand. So I mean... I just want this to be the best to honor him....

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