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Thread: Can't accept being incontinent

  1. #1

    Default Can't accept being incontinent

    Saw the urologist for the 1st time about a month a go he was quick 15mins in and out kind of as I had xrays of back and bladder ultrasound he said he thinks its not the bladder but because of back injury he said he thinks its something about bladder nerves being around the area of injury and the nerve might be damaged in some way and I was put on a waiting list for a cystoscopy which he thinks will show nothing wrong.

    It seems sometimes when I restrict fluids it helps (already been told of/lecture by G.P as I am dehydrating myself and she tends to be caring) and next week going to be told off again/ lecture by psychiatrist as I took myself of lithium(as bipolar type 2) because of it.

    Stupid me I froze up I forgot to tell him about the wetting accidents as well as I'm restricting my fluid intake.

    I have to wear the pull up underwear for the rest of my life as Both my GP and I have ruled out surgery for my back as it tends to cause more problems then its worth as well as I don't have the confidence in my bladder any more as I tend to have good days when I don't think I and there are no signs that I've wet myself or anything but tend to wet myself maybe couple times a week or emotional or bad weather. I kind of wish I had no feeling of it when it happens as it is extremely distressing.

    Also at the moment none of my friends or family knows about it I am dreading that they find as my mother uses my injuries back and rsi against me in arguments and I know that she'll have a field day if she ever found out.

    I really don't know how to mentally accept it as I am trying to as my G.P and I have ruled out surgery and don't think the urologist can do much as its more then likely nerve damage. and it is really distressing when I have to go to the chemist when I run out

    Thanks

  2. #2

    Default

    May I ask how you injured your back? I know of another fellow that had fallen off a roof at his job & wound up in the same situation as you.

    As for people finding out I really would not stress over it. you have an injury that is causing this & if people are going to resent you for something you have no control over then you need to get those people out of you life.
    If it would help you to talk to someone in your condition I could ask my friend to contact you & I am sure there are many here that could help as well.
    I hope you can find your piece of mind soon.

  3. #3

    Default

    Early last year a wooden chair snapped under me at home. Ended up with mild thoracic scoliosis in upper back. Dec last year when my lower back started to have issues collapsing etc (don't remember how I did it) when i noticed the incontinence until around then (as I tend to have sweating issues down there)and started wearing depend pull ups since then Had cat scans done in April this year as my G.P and I thought the pain would go away (still taking naproxen for all injuries) had cat scan in april and found impingement nerve at L4/L5 S1. G.P, my support network and I thought the incontinence was caused by anxiety would go away by itself.
    Hope it makes sense.

    (btw i live in Australia and only 24)
    Last edited by tomcat; 11-Aug-2010 at 12:55.

  4. #4

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    Well this isn't your fault. I mean you're incontinent and if someone makes fun of you for it then well.... They are assholes. I doubt the people you love will make fun of you for it. Maybe a bit of teasing here and there but just show them how much you hate being incontinent.... ya know? They should let up.... Other then that... I don't know how to help.

  5. #5

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by tomcat View Post
    Also at the moment none of my friends or family knows about it I am dreading that they find as my mother uses my injuries back and rsi against me in arguments and I know that she'll have a field day if she ever found out.

    I really don't know how to mentally accept it as I am trying to as my G.P and I have ruled out surgery and don't think the urologist can do much as its more then likely nerve damage. and it is really distressing when I have to go to the chemist when I run out
    Well, I'm not a doctor unfortunately, but I can speak in terms of friends, family, and the self.

    Dealing with IC is no picnic because it is going against something that is deeply rooted in our brains, the concept of toilet training. It's taught at such an early age and is often done so by employing embarrassment or punishment if the child does not use the toilet. As such, when faced later in life with IC, you subconsciously recall all of these bad emotions that pushed you away from allowing yourself to wet at an early age. And with little success stopping the wetting now when faced with IC, the bad emotions tend to stick around.

    This is directly linked to why friends/family/strangers might make fun of someone with IC - because they too had the same type of behavioral structuring at an early and undoubtedly vulnerable age. As to them not being mature about it and understanding that its not something you chose or even something that is about them in anyway - that's a different subject. All I can say is this unfortunate incident of yours might actually help weed out who the real friends are, the people that care about you and your well-being, rather than some surface-level relationship that will bail on you when you need help.

    As far as coming to terms with it, its not about liking it by any means. Some people embrace it after a while and find ways to enjoy it (see the rest of these boards), and some just learn to live with it, because its better than the alternative, either shutting yourself away from the world or contemplating something much worse. I'm not much older than you (only a few years), but I still found someone that understands my issue and still was willing to marry me It's by no means the end of the world because you have IC.

    I do apologize that this happened to you and know becoming IC is neither fun nor desirable, but there are ways around it, as with every other challenge in life. Use this board to help see and meet people that have gone through what you are going through now. Notice how happy and generally positive they are, even though a big portion has no control over their bladders or bowels.

    I hope things work out for you.

  6. #6

    Default

    Ok first off the standard disclaimer: This is not intended nor recommended as a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your own physician or other qualified health care professional regarding any medical questions or conditions.

    So a few general thoughts, first off, while you might not be interested in surgery it could still be useful to get a referral to either an orthopaedic surgeon or neurosurgeon who specializes in the spine if you haven't already. Even without surgery they might be able to make some more detailed recommendations about management of your Thoracic/Lumbar/Sacral spine injuries since that is there area of expertise and they see lots of cases every day.

    Another thing, in general it is really important to make sure that all your providers have your complete history, sometimes we forget to ask about something, but make sure you bring them up if we don't. For example, someone in your case would want to make sure that the urologist knows you are taking lithium and the psychiatrist knows about the incontinence issues since sometimes they are prescribing treatments which might effect (or cause) other problems you have.

    Other then that the best thing is to wait and see what they find, there are a number of medical treatments that they might be able to look into depending on what is identified as the underlying cause. Hope they manage to figure things out and you can get everything addressed.

  7. #7

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by tomcat View Post
    Early last year a wooden chair snapped under me at home. Ended up with mild thoracic scoliosis in upper back. Dec last year when my lower back started to have issues collapsing etc (don't remember how I did it) when i noticed the incontinence until around then (as I tend to have sweating issues down there)and started wearing depend pull ups since then Had cat scans done in April this year as my G.P and I thought the pain would go away (still taking naproxen for all injuries) had cat scan in april and found impingement nerve at L4/L5 S1. G.P, my support network and I thought the incontinence was caused by anxiety would go away by itself.
    Hope it makes sense.

    (btw i live in Australia and only 24)
    I suffer from a herniated disc on my L5 that pinches my S1 nerve too. I only get major flare ups every few years that I wind up bed ridden for over a month from it. I finally went to a physical therapist & A chiropractor for it & "knock on wood" I have been pain free for over 3 years now. I think between the naproxin & the pain is why you are having the IC problems. I believe the nerve that controls the bladder is lower in the L1-3 range. I had damage done to those as well, dam near was paralyzed from the waste down on that occasion.
    Maybe seek out another doctor that can help with out surgery like I did. As for people giving you crap about an injury & something out of your control they are the ones with the issue. Seek out new friends. I believe there are many here at ADISC from your neck of the woods.

  8. #8

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    I have a friend who was in a car accident, with a similar dilemma as you. He had some spinal chord injury, and the doctor said that he was lucky that he wasn't confined to a wheelchair for the rest of his life.

    Wonder why he hasn't shown up here yet... *in the incontinence help forum

  9. #9
    angelabauer

    Default

    Nearly all people are terrified when told they have become incontinent.

    What the person just being told he or she is incontinent needs to do is decide which medical advice to take. Ask yourself if the urologist has years of special training and has passed difficult written and practical exams to be board certified in urology and is in good standing with the Australian College of Surgeons as well as the Australian College of Urology. Although there are many ways to treat incontinence, many of which do not use surgery, technically urology is a surgical specialty. (in the USA those would be "American") Perhaps your GP feels more qualified to manage incontinence. It is up to the patient to decide.

    Please remember it is only recently that incontinence was considered a serious condition by urologists. Consequently many older urologists are more focused on male reproductive problems and somewhat dismissive of incontinence.

    Also please do not harm you health trying to prevent accidental wetting. Dehydration is bad for you. Trust me, you do not want to gain control of your bladder after ruining your kidneys. Failing to drink enough water will harm your kidneys.

  10. #10

    Default

    You are still at the beginning of your quest to find a healing for your accident, so don't despair. Bring acceptance to your situation and realize also there is a lot of learning and healing that will happen if you want that. Personally I have had a lot of help using a chiropractor who uses kinesiology to find where the problems are. Acupuncture is great also and would be easier to find.

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