Saw the urologist for the 1st time about a month a go he was quick 15mins in and out kind of as I had xrays of back and bladder ultrasound he said he thinks its not the bladder but because of back injury he said he thinks its something about bladder nerves being around the area of injury and the nerve might be damaged in some way and I was put on a waiting list for a cystoscopy which he thinks will show nothing wrong.
It seems sometimes when I restrict fluids it helps (already been told of/lecture by G.P as I am dehydrating myself and she tends to be caring) and next week going to be told off again/ lecture by psychiatrist as I took myself of lithium(as bipolar type 2) because of it.
Stupid me I froze up I forgot to tell him about the wetting accidents as well as I'm restricting my fluid intake.
I have to wear the pull up underwear for the rest of my life as Both my GP and I have ruled out surgery for my back as it tends to cause more problems then its worth as well as I don't have the confidence in my bladder any more as I tend to have good days when I don't think I and there are no signs that I've wet myself or anything but tend to wet myself maybe couple times a week or emotional or bad weather. I kind of wish I had no feeling of it when it happens as it is extremely distressing.
Also at the moment none of my friends or family knows about it I am dreading that they find as my mother uses my injuries back and rsi against me in arguments and I know that she'll have a field day if she ever found out.
I really don't know how to mentally accept it as I am trying to as my G.P and I have ruled out surgery and don't think the urologist can do much as its more then likely nerve damage. and it is really distressing when I have to go to the chemist when I run out