Okay - so I have found myself in and out of diapers for the last few years due to sporadic control issues of my bladder. Urologist so far is saying its a mix of different types (though, its apparently predominantly Urge IC based on something neurological). I've gotten to the point where I might go a few days without a severe accident, then for a week straight wet myself multiple times throughout the day. Thus, I have gotten to the point of wearing diapers full time even if I stay dry for a long period of time.
Perhaps this is me 'giving up' on ever achieving a 'normal life' of continence and control, but I am getting to the point of not caring to even attempt to make it to the bathroom if I'm in one of those periods of having consistent accidents. As in, sometimes I just use the diaper without trying to get up to go to the restroom. I feel the urge hit and know full well that I have to pee, but something in my mind says "who cares, you're wearing a diaper"...
I seem to feel less stressed out when I get into moods like this though, since I'm not rushing to the bathroom, and don't face failure to get there in time, or embarrassment at work from just leaving quickly from the office without telling anyone I'm stepping out.
Has this happened to anyone else? Is this detrimental to possibly recovering?
Just trying to understand this a bit more, as I know this is coming from a psychological standpoint. Not really finding sexual pleasure or escapism from using it freely, necessarily, just comfort and peace of mind - though I do feel much better/happier when diapered now.
Thanks for any input