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Thread: I want to tell everyone I'm an infantilist for the following reasons...

  1. #1

    Default I want to tell everyone I'm an infantilist for the following reasons...

    I"M TIRED OF LYING! I always have to make up lies, oh what did you get in the mail "Some stuff to clean a console" I wish I could simply just say "I got me a new pacifier" Today I was looking at a vid on youtube of a kid rocking out. His paci had an awesome skull on it right? I almost said "I want one of those" Instead if Opted to say "That's so awesome" Having to hide my true fucking feelings....

    I feel like infantilism is a large part of my life that I have to hide from everyone. People just don't understand how I feel or what I do. The other night some friends came over at 12AM. XD I was in a goodnite all bundled up sucking on a paci when they where knocking on my front door. I put the paci away and hide everything. It was too little time to take off the diaper. So I just left it and tried not to move much. They asked me what where you doing. I answered "playing left 4 dead" and I was like... No I wasn't @[email protected] I was sucking on my paci watching TV. *sigh* This isn't sexual for me anymore... it can be but it isn't. It's more of a lifestyle now. I love it and I feel so comfortable with myself.... Why do I hide it? I'm semi famous where I live. I can't be displaying this shit It could ruin my work my income and my fathers income. It could essentially ruin our lives! That's why I keep it hush hush. I mean granted I don't want to be an exhibitionist but I wouldn't mind saying "Oh I want that cute teddy!" Or "Hey I sleep with teddies" Or I suck on a paci.... ya know?

    It's a bit complicated I just mainly hate lying to the people I love.... I feel like they don't really know the true me? The me that just chills out a lot. Hell I can't show my porn collection to my friends due to this fetish... XD THey have been hounding me for years. I've told them they wouldn't be interested in it. (which is true) they ask why and I just avoid the conversation. I would like to just have my paci on my nightstand not hidden... I would like to just leave my door open or suck on a paci while in my own house watching TV with my family.... Not regressed just chilling ya know? Or drink from a bottle cuz those are fun.... I at least still play with toys.... but yeah... I just feel like I'm hiding a huge part of myself and that people don't know the true me... it eats at me sometimes.

    Why tell? Because I'm hiding who I really am! This isn't something sexual for me... It's something that I enjoy doing and I don't hurt others. I want to go get a onesie and not have to hide it. Or some footed PJ's.... or something. I'm just pissed! It annoys me! I don't want to force it down their throats not really hell I wouldn't feel comfortable doing any of that. But just being able to make little comments like that would make me feel so much better.

    I hate lying about who I am... but it's necesary for this lifestyle... I'll even have to lie to my future children. I'm glad my fiancee is an infantilist also... I don't have to hide anything from her she adores it. But yeah.... anyone just hate lying and living in fear of being found out? Or just annoyed that you might slip something up or want to speak your real mind? Sometimes it's just.... fucking frustrating.... Sorry I'd put this in a blog but... I want people to respond and see how many others feel like this? This isn't something Hidden for me it's my lifestyle.... it's rather alternative but I just realized it's a part of who I am. I spent the night with my mom last night (spelt over in the same bad at my grandmas) and I couldn't sleep well because I could not regress... My mom knows but I didn't feel comfy doing it.... I couldn't regress and I was up for a large portion of the night and I would wake up constantly..... *sigh* anyways just talk guys... needed to get that off my chest.

    EDIT: I dont' really need advice... just someone who understand where I'm coming from ya know?
    Last edited by dragsnick; 09-Aug-2010 at 03:18. Reason: Clearing something up

  2. #2

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    Well to tell you the truth, I have felt like that once. The problem was me just wanting to tell someone. Sometimes thats all it takes. But if you ever decide to tell everyone you know, remember there are concequences to it. Thats why it sucks unfortanetly. Becuse you know not everyone understands.
    I would suggest finding someone close to you that you talk to and hang out with constantly. Thats all I can really say though, Not much expereance at telling people, I have only told one person and that was on accedent. But I do know how hard it is to have to hide. I hope you figure this out.

  3. #3
    daipe

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    I can see how you feel, since I mostly feel the same way sometimes. It is horrible to go on lying, and for you it seems like something you do several times a day. So far, I luckily haven't had to lie about my fetish to anyone, and hope to keep it this way. I'm not trying to criticize you or make you feel bad, but honestly, lying eventually leads to the complete opposite of anything good. It's not that you should stop your habits, nor should you tell your friends, but... you should somehow change your ways. I can see how that would be extremely difficult, especially since many people know you and expect a lot from you, however you could try a method that I use - after I got my first pack of diapers, I used a diaper every day, until I started loosing interest in them, so I decided to stop. After a few days, I put one on again, and I got the same pleasure as from the first time I used one, possibly even more. So now what I do is use diapers maybe once, or twice a week, however I keep my inner fetish active by using this forum and occasionally reading some stories. I don't know if it will work for you, but I strongly suggest you do this, since you'll get rid of bad habits that could affect your future, and you will even get more pleasure from your fetish.

    Please don't criticize me, I'm just voicing out my opinion and my method, which may or may not help you or others. For me, it sure helped, and it keeps my fetish alive. It also gives me something to work towards to, for example I would set myself a goal to work towards to, and only allow myself to regress a bit after I've completed it. This greatly improves my work efficiency, and I can't wait to see what effect this will have when I go back to school.

    Anyways, good luck !

  4. #4

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    **Hugs**

    Dude, totally get this. I'm much the same way, or have been. I didn't tell anyone anything until I was about 20, and at that point it had been bottled up and suppressed pretty deeply, to the point where it was really beginning to eat at my sanity. A couple years later, and I am no longer at such ends with myself over this, or with those in my surroundings. Now everyone who lives in my house knows - my mom, dad, and little brother (no need for my older sibs who are moved out to know anyway). I still feel the need to hide it, still only pull out my paci if I know no one is home or I will be able to put it away quickly should someone approach me.

    I felt the need to explain it to people in a way that cut any possible sexual connotations out of it. I would say that I'm very stressed out and feel like I'm going out of my mind, and that this is one way I use to help melt the stress away. I get the feeling that's a big part of this for you too. I first thought this was all sexual for me, but then realized it's a larger part of who I am than that. I need those who live closest to me to know this about me. There is nothing inherently twisted with regression as an interest/lifestyle, it's just outside of the norm. It's okay to be outside of the norm.

    I know what you're going through, but I think as time goes on, things will be better. I still don't always like to bring it up around my parents because it's still private to me in many ways, and the subject matter is a bit embarrassing to begin with. However, we are now if a functional area where my mom might suggest something to me without actually saying the words. I got a case of diapers delivered a few days ago, and just had to say 'that's for me' and my mom knew what that meant already (especially since I had even told her I ordered them). Since your mom knows about this, perhaps you should try discussing it with her. I know not all parents are as cool with this as mine are, but might still be worth a shot.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by cornkid View Post
    Well to tell you the truth, I have felt like that once. The problem was me just wanting to tell someone. Sometimes thats all it takes. But if you ever decide to tell everyone you know, remember there are concequences to it. Thats why it sucks unfortanetly. Becuse you know not everyone understands.
    I would suggest finding someone close to you that you talk to and hang out with constantly. Thats all I can really say though, Not much expereance at telling people, I have only told one person and that was on accedent. But I do know how hard it is to have to hide. I hope you figure this out.
    Ive told peope and Im always woth my fiancee I wouldnt tell other it would just fuck shit up.

  6. #6

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    I can't stand the thought of my parents, siblings or other family members knowing about this side of me, I guess I am just too scared of what they would think. I know that atleast my parents would probably be ok with it, I have a feeling they already know something is up with me anyway since I am pretty anti-social and don't really have relationships.

    I guess I just care way to much about what others think of me, and I wouldn't want them to think any differently of me, or treat me any differently because of my unusual interests. This is something I need to get over.

    Drag, I think you're extremely lucky to have a fiancee that understands and accepts this side of you, atleast you have someone in real life to talk to about this stuff. I hope to have this one day also.

    Sorry I don't really have any good advice for you...

  7. #7

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    I've worried about reaching this point myself, I have to be honest. I'd really like to enjoy "regressing" as much as I can... But I can't bring myself to wear around my family or friends for fear of discovery and my related paraphernalia never gets further than my bedroom.

    I consider myself lucky to have my own flat, so I can definitely enjoy it in private, and when my boyfriend moves in shortly, it will remain.

    But already, I wish I could have more. I wish I was brave enough to go about my daily business diapered, or have a paci around one or two friends. But the one friend I told about trying diapers for a sexual purpose laughed her ass off and still has little jabs to this day. I'm toying with buying some dungarees, but don't know if I'd wear them outdoors, so... Kinda futile in that event.

    I totally sympathise with you, Drags. And I wish you luck in solving this. In the meantime, I say be happy with what you can already enjoy - many others can't even have that!

    Dan x

  8. #8

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    I feel like this a lot. Soon i'm getting some adult diapers, meeting someone from here and buying from him. When i think about my parents, my sisters, just everything i get so depressed. Just having to hide it all, i know the "i like to wear diapers" would never go down well, but for me i am not that much into TB yet. I understand your frustration and know how you feel, just wanting to do it in your own home and not keep hiding it.

    Have you thought about coming out about it slowly? For example just doing things such as buying some PJ's. Wearing in front of the family, possibly buy a teddy and say you want to keep it so you can give it to your first child one day. Just somehow hint your becoming attached to it, and finally hugging it around them.

    I guess it would take a lot of work for them to understand, just keep hinting how you want to feel young again. I know it doesn't sound like it would work, but i don't know what your family is like.

    I hope you figure things out soon

  9. #9

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    haha Thanks everyone... But I was just mainly ranting I'll keep things as is... maybe be a bit more open with my love for feeted PJ's so I could order some. XD But yeah.... I honestly just am happy just dislike how I have to hide it. But I can't do much over it and don't plan on coming out to everyone... It's just wishful thinking really. but It's how I feel inside... my emotions luckily i'm a creature ruled by logic not emotions!

  10. #10

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    I totally agree with you, im getting really annoyed with all the lying I have to do. I would hate for people to find out, but the thought of accidently slipping up and being caught is becoming more frequent in my mind.

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