I think I have figured out why I'm AB...
I blame a lot of it on my not so happy childhood...
First, being born blind and having 53 surgeries to give me about 5% vision in my right eye (they couldn't do anything with the left) and hundreds of trips to doctors trying to figure out what was wrong with me for the first 8 years of life didn't help. During this time my extreme sensitivity to light and the pain of my dying left eye made it hard for me to go places and it also effected my sinuses which caused constant runny nose and dozens of ear infections; so many that I have lost 20% of my hearing in my left ear. These problems, combined with my shyness and great love of music made school extremely difficult. I was picked on and made fun by students and the teachers ether didn't know how to help me or want to help me or tried too hard to help. I got an artificial eye when i was 8 and some things started to get better; my eyes didn't hurt much anymore and I didn't have ear or sinus problems either. But eventually school got so bad that I dropped out after 9th grade after the school suggested I didn't come back because they didn't have time to enlarge my worksheets and my mother said she'd help they said no and accused her of cheating help me pass.
Ever since then things have gotten better in some ways but not in others
People still treat me different. When I'm in public I hod onto someone's shoulder to get around and if it's a guy people look at you and either say rude thing about me being either drunk or gay and that pisses me off because I'm neither. When I meet people, half of them talk real slow and loud to me and act like I'm retarded or something and I get mad and say something like "If you had a blindfold on, would you be a dumbass and need people to talk to you like that?"
Since my band went full time 5 years ago things have gotten a bit stressful. I have to deal with a bunch of people with their problems and egos, asshole club owners and the lack of money that we make among many other normal band things like busy schedules.
Anyway, I think the reason I'm AB is because I need to feel loved and protected and innocent while also acting out a normal childhood and to cope with the stress of the band, loneliness and emotional scars from my nine years of school and my anger towards people who aren't even willing to understand.
Anyway, sorry to ramble but I've been down lately had to get that off my chest. Anyone else know why they're AB/DL?