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Thread: Asexuality and a Diaper Fetish

  1. #1

    Red face Asexuality and a Diaper Fetish

    So much thought...

    That's what I want to make sure everyone who reads this understands. I've thought long and hard about this, and about myself. I've had a rather rough life so far in the relationship department, and I've just recently come to understand why.

    I'll get to the meat here, so you don't have to read my story: Can you be asexual when it comes to sexual intercourse, that is having no desire to have sex with a man or a woman... but be incredibly sexual with *yourself* and with a fetish?

    I was 16 when I had my first girlfriend. This is also when I lost my virginity with said girl. I clearly remember the feeling of it all... and it surely did feel good... but it wasn't "amazing". It was like I had done better already. She was starting to get frustrated, so I started thinking about diapers... and BOOM! There it was. But... only I had to think about diapers, and more importantly, being forced to wear/kept in them in order to "get there". It wasn't the sex, it was the object.

    This went on for 3 years with her... I tried very hard not to use them. When she noticed something was up, maybe about 6 months into the relationship, I explained it all to her. She knew about my diaper fetish beforehand, but now it made more sense. So... she started using the fetish while we were "doing it" to produce the desired end result. Eventually she and I broke up, and sex was even more of a turn-off for me. I felt dirty. I felt used. Our whole relationship was built on one thing it seemed: sex.

    So, there I was. Heading back home and turning 19. I was even more into this fetish by this point... likely because of all the hurt I was feeling. 20 came around and I met a girl, one who is still a close friend of mine. Again, I was open and honest with her. She was also extremely sexually active, and I was not. She involved diapers now and then, lovingly, but it still felt wrong for me to associate it all. I had some serious issues... end result? We broke up. It just didn't work. I felt as a failure, since I couldn't "perform" sexually... Then I realized that every time I "wanted" to have sex, it wasn't the sex I was wanting. I wanted to please my partner. I wanted to make her happy. It wasn't for me... it was for them. I started to blame my fetish more and more for this.

    Moving on... I met the woman I live with now, though we're no longer a couple. I was still convinced I could be "rehabilitated" and actually be a "functional" male. I assumed something was wrong with my wiring, so we tried numerous things. She knew all about me too... and she actually disliked it quite a bit at first. The thing that kept us together (for nearly ... 8 years now?) is that we lived together. We broke things off, but remained friends. She insisted I was gay, so I tried men... I found that I actually enjoyed cuddling and being around other men - especially diapered ones - but when it came to sex... I just didn't like it still.

    This woman has helped me in many ways... we've gotten back together, and then recently split again - but still remain close friends. In the last year, I've finally discovered what I am... and just recently, more detail into it all.

    Some key points:
    1) I actually feel uncomfortable when I'm touched sexually. I can't "climax" with someone else's help.
    2) I have absolutely no desire to have sex with another person. None, at all.
    3) I have a strong, very strong desire to wear diapers... and when I'm in diapers, I have a strong desire to pleasure myself.

    So yeah. Any thoughts? Anyone feel the same?

  2. #2


    Very interesting.

    I consider myself asexual, but not the way you are.

    No sexual urge whatsoever. With myself, with another, with several others, it does not matter. Ability? Well, I guess but it's not all that fun for me. I partake in it for my partner and it's no different for me from doing crunches, except that it makes my partner really happy.

    But then my "desire" to wear diapers is of a slightly different nature too. I've been wearing them for so long for bedwetting that I'm pretty darn used to it.

  3. #3


    Funny you mention the "used to it" - I find my urge to pleasure myself while wearing diapers ebbs and fades quite a bit if I go a while wearing them.

  4. #4


    I don't know if I'm considered asexual as I have no interest in the ACT of intercourse at all. I wear diapers and I act like a child, and certain actions by a significant other can cause me... to get aroused for lack of a better word, but I have no real interest having sex. Things like masturbating is considered 'playing' and not doing anything actually naughty. It's really rare. With a significant other, I can masturbate them too, but again, I only see it as playing, not as anything really sexual, so I'm not sure what department that really puts me in. I can say however, that wearing diapers and/or indulging in some rather *b activities well induce more playtime, but it is never the main focus and I don't really consider it sexual. It's weird.

  5. #5


    Quote Originally Posted by Keenan View Post
    Funny you mention the "used to it" - I find my urge to pleasure myself while wearing diapers ebbs and fades quite a bit if I go a while wearing them.
    This is kind of how it is with me, actually... I figured it was a fetish at first, but all of that has more or less "calmed down;" it's odd...

  6. #6


    Quote Originally Posted by Keenan View Post
    So yeah. Any thoughts? Anyone feel the same?
    Hey if it works for you then whats the problem? Also diapers are cheaper than a girlfriend, but nothing can replace the intimacy of another human who is your soul mate.

  7. #7


    Quote Originally Posted by Keenan View Post
    Funny you mention the "used to it" - I find my urge to pleasure myself while wearing diapers ebbs and fades quite a bit if I go a while wearing them.
    Hm. Well it's not quite that way for me. I never had urges to wear them until I became used to them. I HATED them when I was younger. I've never had "urges" in any sexual sense at all. :p

  8. #8


    Quote Originally Posted by Truthfullies View Post
    Hey if it works for you then whats the problem? Also diapers are cheaper than a girlfriend, but nothing can replace the intimacy of another human who is your soul mate.
    You missed the point. I don't feel intimacy. It's not the same. There's absolutely no desire for it.

  9. #9


    It seems like what you need is a partner that's also "asexual" in a similar way, who you could have a functional relationship with, and not have sex/sexual performance be a factor. Does that make sence to you?

    Afterthought: intimacy and sex are two different things.

    Intimacy -Web definition.

  10. #10


    Asexuality is an odd issue here. If one pleasures themselves, are they truly asexual? I wouldn't consider you to actually be asexual. Under the same definition (not really having any desire to be with another person, or not really wanting to be touched sexually) I could fall under the same category. Though I sure wouldn't say I'm asexual. I am still sexual, just differently wired. This seems to be the case for you.

    Asexuals have intimacy. Like Desco said, Intimacy and sex are two completely different horses. We only liken intimacy TO sex because our culture is so vastly OVERsexed. I would say most of the *B/DL universe is high intimacy-low sexuality. To be in an *B/DL relationship requires a level of intimacy most people would consider to be uncomfortable. Though being close to someone in an *B/DL relationship is what...I'd say almost all of us dream about!

    I would say having a diaper fetish (or any Fetish, in that sense) pretty much rules out asexuality. Labels don't fit well on people, overall.

    I will also add that I have not ever met any true asexuals myself, the only people I've known that claimed to be so unhappy "scene" kids that believe the world is a dark, miserable, awful place where kittens always die and good guys never win. (these same people claimed they never masturbate, either. Because pleasure of any kind is only an illusion and a diversion to man's purpose: wallowing helplessly in misery)

    These weren't asexuals, they were just unhealthy. You aren't that.

    If you've already got a good grasp on who you are, don't worry too much about more labels. One box can only hold so many.

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