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Thread: Family Response to Incontinence or Diapers? (long)

  1. #1

    Default Family Response to Incontinence or Diapers? (long)

    I don't know how many of you have had family that have been told about your diapers or, if it is applicable, the incontinence that requires them. The real question is what is the reaction of those that you love and you care about in return? Additionally, has it been something that has affected relationships?

    I'm incontinent. I've had neurological problems for many years that have given me constant bladder issues and occasional bowel problems. The reactions that come from my family as I discuss it with them have been remarkable.

    My father and everybody I know on my father's side of the family is where most of the bladder trouble originates--it runs rampant through the family, and I remember one of the last times I visited my grandmother before she passed away, how she and I discussed my need for diapers over the years compared to her incontinence troubles as well.

    When visiting an aunt I asked about where I should throw out my wet diapers when I got up in the morning--I didn't just want to leave them in the bathroom trash for her to clean up (I make sure I wear diapers to keep the bed dry when visiting). My aunt replied that I needn't worry, but I could take them out to the main trash can. We then spent time speaking of how I still had bladder trouble much like my younger years, and how my grandmother was incontinent and I had other cousins and family that were incontinent as well. My aunt recounted diapering me as old as nine or ten with as often as I wet the bed--not trying to be spiteful, just gentle ribbing.

    So I have one side of my family that is understanding and loving. What is still amazing to this day, even to me, however, is that my own mother is as cruel and evil as she is about it all. Of course, this is the same bitch who told me she was sorry she gave birth to me, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised.

    Some things just blow you away, though. Even though I was not potty trained until almost six, wet the bed regularly all my life to the point that diapers were used at least until 11 or 12, on and off afterwards, with all this, with all the daytime accidents, she refuses to accept that I may fight incontinence.

    When my first child was born, my wife and I went to visit and spent a few nights with her and my stepfather. She found my wet diapers in the trash and told me that two of us shouldn't need diapers. She has constantly told me over and over how I need to go and get this problem 'fixed', yet when I was a child she was content to just go along with the doctor who would say that I would probably grow out of it eventually.

    I've given up on her and no longer have a relationship with her. She is willing to scream and threaten anything and everything as long as she doesn't have to act. But when it comes to her having to actually make an effort, she won't. To her, nothing is sacred, anything is permissible as long as it makes her life easier.

    When we moved to this area, she and my stepfather would visit a city less than forty minutes away to go see their friends, yet they could not take the time away to come see their grandchildren. Then they expected my wife and I to drive the kids up to see them once they moved up here for good. This is the woman who gave me hand-me-downs from my sister to make it easier for diaper changes. She had no qualms about dressing her child in clothing of the opposite gender; after all, it saved her money and she already had to spend enough for diapers.

    Needless to say, I'm glad that I have some people for my family. Others, I wish I could forget. My wife has said she has had dreams where she has wanted my mother dead; I can't blame my wife in the least.

  2. #2


    wow analong, that is quite a story. I am not i.c but my mom does know about my diapers but all her respouse was is that I could be doing worse things like drugs or violance. As for my dad I think he did know back when I was younger but now I dont think he does. And I really dont want to tell him cause I look up to him as a son would. I feel like I have let him down like in a father son way.

  3. #3


    My mother is deceased. I would never tell either of my parents nor would I ever tell my half-sister. Two of my three brothers know I'm an AB/DL and both lean that way themselves, however, and Brother #3 openly snacks on baby food so I doubt he would care if he did know. The wife of another brother, this one living with me, knows that I am an AB/DL because she invited me to a kink party with a Sissy Baby focus of all things. A second-cousin minor I refer to as my niece knows I am incontinent and wear diapers (and that is the extent of her knowledge on the matter; I told her I pee when I sneeze, and that is the truth) because she found out by accident. Of course my husband knows. I wouldn't be surprised if my oldest daughter has figured out that I wear diapers. Ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends know extents of how childish I can be.

    Save for some exes, none of the people who know to any extent have really reacted negatively about it. I'm selective in whom I tell, whether they be family or friends. There are people that I know I could tell whom I have not just because I don't see the point in doing so.

    That said, life ain't all roses. As aforementioned, I have awful relatives that should never know. They wish I would be carted to a mental ward as is.

  4. #4


    My parents are cool with it. I see them here/there, we're close. I've wet the bed at different points of my life and have had day wetting issues legitimately too; it just made a lot more sense in the long run to go with it...

  5. #5
    Butterfly Mage


    I haven't seen my father in fifteen years and I don't give a damn what he thinks on any topic.

    My mom knows but mostly ignores it since I am discrete about wearing diapers. My brother knows, but has a "man, that really sucks" opinion (and, for the ABs who want to make themselves incontinent, it does pretty much suck).

    I have a sister who doesn't know. She's usually to focused on herself to notice anything else (in this case, it's a bonus).

  6. #6


    It's always amazes me as to how many of us have grown up with such pain. Analog, you're a good guy, and I'm sorry your childhood had so many problems.

    My senior year, my mom discovered my make shift diapers. I was going through some extreme emotional problems, and when I went back to college, she searched my room. She sent me to see a psychiatrist at a mental residence facility, so things didn't go well. She kept finding little books and pamphlets on how to become and act like a man. I felt like I was both insane and a pervert. She did love me, and I loved her. She wanted me to be what she understood as "normal", and I get that, but I have never been like the average others.

    Over 2 years ago, my wife discovered my diaper order on Amazon. She was very kind and understanding as well as accepting, so things have worked out well there. She understands my "little" side and has bought me a couple of plushies and footed jammies. It's so nice to be accepted by someone warm and living!

  7. #7


    All of my aunt ,uncles and cousins know I'm total incontinent and are fine with it. After one of my surgeries I've had
    my sister in law helping with getting dressed

  8. #8


    I guess I am lucky. I am an AB, and came out of the toybox to my mom when I was 18, quite frankly too. It was my first time wearing and i was in love so I made that clear to her.

    14+ yrs later and she is well aware of my AB side. I share the house with her, my diapers are not hidden, nor are my plushies, there is a sippy cup in the dish drainer too. She has met my AB friends too. She is not involved with my AB side, but no longer says despairaging remarks as much as she used to.

  9. #9


    It's kind of weird with my mom.

    She found my AB/diaper stash a couple years ago now. At the time she threw out almost everything she found, including my favourite shortalls. However, she left my very childish sleeper. This was just after I had stopped taking anti-depressants, and she had the gall to say she preferred me on the meds. Well, I told her what's what. I yelled for a good hour about how she had no right to throw away my stuff, and no right to tell me what drugs to take. Moreover, I told her being on the anti-depressants actually helped me accept my AB side even more, because I wasn't so anxious about it. She wrote me a letter explaining how wrong and bad she thought it was, and I tore it up in front of her, and kept the bits for the next two years as a reminder. This was after she independently found and read the usual articles recommended for parents... so much for that. Anyway, she cried a lot, because she knew she was in the wrong. I was 21 at the time, she had no right.

    After that, we agreed that if she finds stuff like that again, to just tell me and I'll take care of it. She never did find the other half of my stash, fortunately. We have never spoken of it since. For the first couple months there was that strange awkwardness when diaper commercials came on. But after a while, things went back to normal.

    As for my dad, he never said anything at all, but I know he knows too. He never treated me differently for a moment. I've never really understood that. My dad's always been the one to make himself known. It's odd.

    Despite this altercation, I continued to sleep with my plushies and keep them on my bed in my room. Of course, I wore my sleeper a lot, but only in the privacy of my room. However, everyone in my family knows about my stuffed animals. No one seems to care, except my youngest brother when he teases me about it, but I just tell him how I live is none of his business. I don't do anything indecent (around other people anyways :p ). That shuts him up, generally. Plus, he accepts that I have anxiety issues, and my snugglies help. None of my friends have a problem with it either, and too bad to anyone who does. I don't care, I want my bear! He doesn't hurt anyone, but he helps me stay sane.

    Anyways, about a year goes by, and I guess my mom starts to figure out that I really am basically a kid in adult clothing. That's how I think of myself, at least. I've distinctly noticed she's started to treat me... littler? I mean, once in a rare while, she tucks me in when I'm at home. Nothing elaborate, just says goodnight really. Still, I really like it. Despite our altercations, I really love her, and having those moments now and then is awesome. Also, she's definitely come to accept that I need my bear. When I moved out to university, she even reminded me to bring him! I always get embarrassed though, when I try to hide my bear from her, and she says I don't need to. More generally, she just checks to make sure I'm alright more than she used to. It's not that she's worried though, I think she misses me now that I'm gone, and well... I miss her too. It's just weird, having her treat me as I am, including being a bit little, rather than what she'd like me to be.

    I guess I'm just too used to living under expectations, not that I mind the change.

  10. #10


    Quote Originally Posted by Incomplete Dude View Post
    As for my dad, he never said anything at all, but I know he knows too. He never treated me differently for a moment. I've never really understood that. My dad's always been the one to make himself known. It's odd.
    I find that fathers go quiet when they don't know how to handle a situation.

    As for all the stories here... some are very great, some are very sad. Some are in between obviously.
    As for me? My family knows nothing that I'm aware of... I ditched them all when I was 16. It was easy to live openly before Facebook and all, but now? Now it's harder. I want to be open... simply because my private "on-line" life and my "family-facing" life are getting dangerously close together. I might.

    I liked the "kid in adult clothing" reference though... I know that one very well.

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