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Thread: I need help.

  1. #1

    Default I need help.

    I haven't been posting recently because I've been busy with work, band, etc.

    I've been feeling really lonely and just lost for a while now. I'm happy with my friends and everything, but I have no one to identify romantically. I mean, finding the perfect girl is proving to be really difficult, especially with a fetish as "abnormal" as mine, as my mother puts it. She just makes me feel like shit every time she prods me about it. And it's bad enough that I'm humble to a fault and have zero self esteem. I just don't know what to do anymore.

  2. #2

    Default

    The first thing I would suggest is that you stop listening to your mother. As a parent, I understand her concern, but she isn't helping the situation. I personally think that relationships come first, diapers second. Try to take the diapers out of the equation is go out with a few girls. There are all kinds of girls out there, and some are very liberal and open minded. The key is dating, going out and having a little innocent fun. After a while, other things should begin to fall in line. If not, then you have to make a choice, a cold wet diaper, or a warm, loving, caring girl.

  3. #3

    Default

    I've been in relationships with girls with and without diapers before. It doesn't really matter to me whether the girl likes them or not. It would just be an added bonus. I'm just tired of not being able to find the perfect girl.

  4. #4
    LilLillyKitten

    Default

    First of all: just know that you will find her... self actualization can be powerful. I don't look... I just make friends, and when I meet the one I am meant to be with... then it will develope that way.

    Be true to yourself; don't be ashamed of who you are. You are more likely to be noticed if you are confident in what you do.

    Learn to love yourself before you worry about finding someone else to love. =)

  5. #5

  6. #6
    LilLillyKitten

    Default

    Well, nobody else can teach you how to love yourself...

    A step towards it is learning to accept who you are.

    Another step is forgiving yourself and others...

  7. #7

  8. #8
    LilLillyKitten

    Default

    I've done some pretty aweful things in my past; I've hurt other people in ways that I can never undo... but I'm still managing to work towards it.

    "It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness."

    "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... it's about learning to dance in the rain."

    I don't think anybody is given a "How To..." manual for life...

  9. #9

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Suspence View Post
    I don't know how to love myself. I hate myself...
    well for starters if you truly want to know how to love yourself then you can stop this goddamn dying swan act

    you asked for help, people in this thread offered it, and you're just slinging this "well I am so lost in a sea of darkness I am beyond help" attitude back at them which is a little ungrateful to say the least.

    While it's worth it for about three or four sympathy points, it does you no good in the long run and anywhere outside of the frankly silly emo culture it's not well regarded. Yes, I'm being very harsh, but I'm currently coming out of a particularly unfun depression myself, and have realised that a defeatist attitude like the one you currently have is just going to leave you going "well I can't change I am so damaged etc." and if you want to stay like that then continue believing you can never change

    if you want to actually improve and stop feeling shit then the first thing is dropping this "woe is me" attitude. Start on actually believing you will get better if you set your mind to it (no methodolgy and no "how" just yet, just believe it is possible because it is) and don't come back with "but I CAN'T get better :/ :/ :/" because otherwise you will never get better. Instill in your mind the idea that you will get better and get where you want to be one day, even if it takes work. That's the first step. Half of it is self-fufilling prophecy, if you catch my drift. very generalised CBT and NLP to summarise it massively.

    when you actually accept that yes, you can change how you think and you can get better if you set your mind to it, that's the first step, and we can work on from there.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    The first thing I would suggest is that you stop listening to your mother. As a parent, I understand her concern, but she isn't helping the situation. I personally think that relationships come first, diapers second. Try to take the diapers out of the equation is go out with a few girls. There are all kinds of girls out there, and some are very liberal and open minded. The key is dating, going out and having a little innocent fun. After a while, other things should begin to fall in line. If not, then you have to make a choice, a cold wet diaper, or a warm, loving, caring girl.
    How loving and caring would such a girl be when she decides she can't deal with your interests? Yep, not as simple as you make it out to be. The girl suddenly might not be so loving, caring, and warm.



    Quote Originally Posted by TygerLily View Post
    Learn to love yourself before you worry about finding someone else to love. =)
    Pretty hard to do when you're not allowed to be yourself because the rest of the world hates "yourself". I mean, I actually don't hate myself, but sometimes it makes me feel like I do because I'm not allowed to be me. And now sometimes I think I don't even know who I am. Though this topic is not about me, maybe Suspence feels the same way, whether for the same reasons as me or different ones.

    Gant, you're probably just going to make him feel worse. I can tell you're trying to help (you seem like a pretty cool person and you're kinda right with some of the things you said), but harshness is not the way. That kinda thing often just causes more depression or gets people angry, or it makes them ignore you completely. You have to be nice. and sometimes people are harsh when they don't have a grasp of the other person's situation. It's hard to know exactly every reason why someone feels the way he/she does. You can't just assume everyone is emo. Do you think your own advice would have helped you if it came from someone else? Try to ask yourself that.

    I know I am probably not being very helpful myself, but I feel much the same as the topic creator (just maybe for different reasons). Sometimes you just need someone to be there for you... and no one's there, or they're there in all the wrong ways. Also, it's hard to be positive when you just can't figure out what steps to take to make things better.

    Also, I am sorry if I sound like a jerk. I'm not trying to do that. >_<
    Last edited by ShippoFox; 23-Jul-2010 at 02:45.

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