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Thread: The Sex Before Marriage thread.

  1. #1
    Olivia

    Default The Sex Before Marriage thread.

    Certain people think that it means that you'll never have sex or want to but the truth it when we say we do not want sex before marriage is because we want to save ourselves for the one we really love.

    Any questions, comments, or thoughts on this issue?

  2. #2

    Default

    Sex before marriage, is, in my opinion, outdated. We live in an era of try before you die, and saving yourself just isn't practical. I want to enjoy my marriage night, and I know my first time sure as hell wasn't all that enjoyable. I want my partner to know what works for me and be able to please them after we've said our vows and are lying on our massive honeymoon suite bed, and the only way to make that moment perfect is practice, practice, practice!

    Also, sex is enjoyable, and I'm not denying myself that pleasure on the long term. If the man I like is so close minded that he won't marry me because I've had sex in the past then he's not the man for me.

    While saying all that though, I do believe that it's a personal choice and would never judge anyone for doing so. I wouldn't go out with a guy who was into it, but show the same level of decency to everyone whether they follow this practice or not.

  3. #3
    Olivia

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Talula View Post
    Sex before marriage, is, in my opinion, outdated. We live in an era of try before you die, and saving yourself just isn't practical. I want to enjoy my marriage night, and I know my first time sure as hell wasn't all that enjoyable. I want my partner to know what works for me and be able to please them after we've said our vows and are lying on our massive honeymoon suite bed, and the only way to make that moment perfect is practice, practice, practice!

    Also, sex is enjoyable, and I'm not denying myself that pleasure on the long term. If the man I like is so close minded that he won't marry me because I've had sex in the past then he's not the man for me.

    While saying all that though, I do believe that it's a personal choice and would never judge anyone for doing so. I wouldn't go out with a guy who was into it, but show the same level of decency to everyone whether they follow this practice or not.
    I do see your point although not marrying because you had sex and he hasn't, is kind of rude, and means he must not love you if you've had sex or something like that.

  4. #4

    Default

    I think that people should do what they want in their relationships. As long as there's an agreement between the people in that relationship. Otherwise, I agree with Talula. I need the practice.

    Not only that, I have no issue with sex before marriage to begin with. With practice, you can see how sexually compatible you are with your partner, and address any issues. I'd rather deal with any issues when not attached, than go through a divorce mess over something that just won't work.

  5. #5

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Yoh View Post
    Certain people think that it means that you'll never have sex or want to but the truth it when we say we do not want sex before marriage is because we want to save ourselves for the one we really love.

    Any questions, comments, or thoughts on this issue?
    Great post! I agree with you 100%

  6. #6

    Default

    Alright I was a firm believer of waiting till you are married to have sex. I've always wanted too. Now I look down on people who have casual sex like constantly... I think sex is a special bond between two people that are in love. A way to express one another how much they care for each other. I believe that only adults fully prepared for all the aftermath of sex should do it. Like if they are prepared for a baby (just in case) or emotionally ready. I've seen many cases where a couple love one another and a month after their first time they break up. Sex tends to ruin relationships many times.

    I've been with my fiancee for 4 years, me and her have not had sex yet. We have wanted to and have come close to it but we keep self control... She has her own apartment so yeah it's kind of tough at times. I'm still a virgin after 19 years and the main reason is because I want my wedding night to be amazing. Something special, not run of the mill night with sex. With that being said I have offered myself to my fiancee and told her I was willing to lose it before hand if she was willing. But it had to be very special. I listed the way it had to be... I made it so that by the time that special day was done the toughts of sex would have subsided and prevented it. I have incredible sexual control. ^^

  7. #7
    Olivia

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by dragsnick View Post
    Alright I was a firm believer of waiting till you are married to have sex. I've always wanted too. Now I look down on people who have casual sex like constantly... I think sex is a special bond between two people that are in love. A way to express one another how much they care for each other. I believe that only adults fully prepared for all the aftermath of sex should do it. Like if they are prepared for a baby (just in case) or emotionally ready. I've seen many cases where a couple love one another and a month after their first time they break up. Sex tends to ruin relationships many times.

    I've been with my fiancee for 4 years, me and her have not had sex yet. We have wanted to and have come close to it but we keep self control... She has her own apartment so yeah it's kind of tough at times. I'm still a virgin after 19 years and the main reason is because I want my wedding night to be amazing. Something special, not run of the mill night with sex. With that being said I have offered myself to my fiancee and told her I was willing to lose it before hand if she was willing. But it had to be very special. I listed the way it had to be... I made it so that by the time that special day was done the toughts of sex would have subsided and prevented it. I have incredible sexual control. ^^
    I really do not look down on people who have casual sex it's there body not ours.

  8. #8

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Yoh View Post
    I really do not look down on people who have casual sex it's there body not ours.

    I know that... But I don't know it's just the way I view it.... Casual sex... is oxymoronic in my view.

  9. #9

    Default

    Sex does not mean love. Sex can equate to love *for you* but that is not its inherant meaning. If you look down on people who have casual sex, in my mind, it just shows how close minded you are.

    I agree with Applesauce, I don't want to find out my partner can't get it up or we don't fit sexuall after we get married just because we both wanted to 'save ourselves' for after marriage. And what about people who don't want to get married? A lot of people these days say that marriage is just a piece of paper, and you can love someone and be with them for your whole life without getting married. Do these people not deserve sex? Is this a joy which should only be saved for the people who go to the hassle (and... attention seeking-y-ness [sometimes]) of marriage?

    Teehee, this came out a bit rantish!

    I just don't approve of people looking down on anyone for their habits as long as they aren't harming themselves or others, which I don't believe sex (casual, married, or otherwise) does.

  10. #10

    Default

    Well, I think about this using pure, unemotional logic. Animals have sex when they want. Dolphins even have sex for fun. Sex isn't unique to humans, so why is it put on a special pedestal? If you take religion out of this, marriage is just an agreement to take care of each other through thick and thin. In my opinion, to be able to agree with that you need to know as much as possible about the person ahead of time. I don't really like the idea of entering into an agreement knowing only SOME of the things about the other person. I like a girl because she likes certain things that I like, or we mutually can ignore the things that we don't mutually enjoy. Sex, as you have all said, as an important part of a relationship. If someone is REALLY bad at it (and those people exist) that's the kind of information I'd like to know ahead. If you never have sex before marriage, there is a chance with a male partner that he can't even get it up for you. Now things have gone to no sex until marriage to no sex until divorce and remarriage. What if you are also against divorce? Now there is no sex at all.

    Basically, before I get married I want all the cards laid out on the table, for both parties. If we can't both accept everything about each other (I said accept, not enjoy), then I don't think the longterm relationship will really work out, anyway.

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