For the past few months I've become very close friends with someone who is now very important to me. He means basically the world to me and I would do nearly anything for him. But the problem is that he is suicidal sometimes... And I've been hurt by the thought of losing him and lost sleep over it by staying up all night trying to talk him out of the suicidal feeling. But the fact is I don't care about the burdens on me as long as he is alright.
Just today, he said he had planned for a few days... Just for the right time when he was alone and had access to "things" so he could kill himself. When I came up online just to check on everything cause I just had the feeling something might've been wrong... I found this out when I was talking to him and a few other friends... And I know they are burdened by this also... But still the fact is I really don't give a flying **** about the burden it is putting on me.
Now, after calling his mother to get home as fast as she can to help him, I'm hysterical and just crying my eyes out cause I don't want to lose him. At least not from suicide... But thank god, he stops after I talk to him for a while and his parents get there. Now I'm just crying from the thought that I nearly lost him and just hysterical and I really don't know why.
My sister had been down doing her homework and she needed help. But in the middle of all this I really just couldn't. I mean, damn a life is more important than flippin homework that I can help her with later on.
(ignore the teenage explanation of a conversation here, just try to understand it) So my step-dad busts in and starts yelling and cussing at why I didn't help her. I yell back that my friend is suicidal and I'm sitting here trying to help him. He tells(yells) at me that that is not more important then family. So I'm like a life is more important than homework. He yells at me no it's not and tells me to get off the computer.
^ After all of this my mom comes home yells at him for a while for not understanding and then comes up to find me crying my eyes out listening to music to try to soothe me. I see her come in through my headphones off and just hug her for a while.
We had this deep talk after the hugs, and me sobbing. She was talking about how helping him is putting a burden on me. She said it's been affecting my personality and in general just who I am. She said I shouldn't have to deal with his problems. But... I just... I don't know. I want to... She said It's just because of my caring personality and the fact that I want to help everyone, but this is different. I just feel, devoted. I know I shouldn't but I do... She said that I should loosen the bonds between us... And just not care so much. She said Not neccesarily not be friends, I can still be friends with him, just not be his "therapist".
So again, I just need some advice... I don't know what to think or do...