I feel like I will be criticized for not making this a blog entry, but the truth is I don't use my blog and if you are the type who feel strongly enough to reply with "what am i supposed to say?" then simply hit the next thread link.
Okay so to make this short, I have really two main sexual kinks, one based off the idea of being in the position of say a toddler but at the same time being who I am rather than a toddler. And then of course I have mild paraphilic infantilism. My question is; is the first one considered regression (paraphilic infantilism in essence) or is it just plain old DL? What makes it more perplexing is that, for lack of a better thought out terminology, I am emotionally invested in the first. By that I mean that I feel an altruistic sense of need for, and have some sort of affection for my paraphernalia (ie diapers, paci, clothes etc.)
So basically I have sort of lost the envy of being little, and instead embrace the idea of being who I truly am, yet having the lifestyle of one who is little.
I guess this must be a no-brainer for a lot of you but I always would put myself in the mindset of actually regressing. This new thought of no regression makes me so much more...excited >_> (I don't think I've ever twitched so much) and invested (sexually and asexually)! I now see how this is a stress reliever for a lot of you.
If any significance can be derived from this it's that I felt my abdl or whatever it is (whole point of the thread so please clarify WHAT AM I? because I honestly don't know) was growing dull and I was loosing interest which is scary because it is my only sexual outlet. I guess without trying, I was conforming to what I see others fantasize about when conformity really ruins the sexual experience.
Sorry if I repeat a lot or beat around the bush of what I'm trying to say, getting my thoughts into words is somewhat difficult.